Ill start of with a good ol' giggle....


A bloke on his way home from work comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: "Officer what's the hold up?"

The officer replies: "It's a Man U fan, he's just so depressed about losing the premiership to Chelsea, being knocked out of Europe and the prospect of winning f**k all after gobbing off all season, he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him, his mates are all laughing at him and he has never had a job. I'm walking around taking a collection for him."

"Oh really?" says the bloke "How much have you collected so far?".

"Only about 1/2 a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

:P Thats not bad, Man United fans seem to be the butt of all jokes lately

What do you call a sheep in wales tied to a lampost?

A leisure centre.
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Ask your mother, he'll know!
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