Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die?
A: Because the koala landed on it.

Q: How do you get a baby out of a tree?
A: You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a piñata!

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!

Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.

Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?
A: Ripping it back off.

Q1: What's red and white and goes 'round and 'round?
Q2: What goes red white, red red, white white red...?
Q3: What is pink and red and goes round and round?
Q4: What's pink and with a flick of a switch turns red?
Q5: What's red and chunky and travels, in a circle, at 190 mph ?
A: A baby in a blender

Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!

Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender face first?
A: So you can see it's feet pulling up into tiny little fists!

Q1: How do you get 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?
Q2: How do you get 10 dead babies into a Tupperware bowl?
A1: La' Machine!
A2: Use a blender.

Q: How do you get it out?
A1: With a straw!
A2: Doritos.

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can?
A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.

Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.

Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.

Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass?
A: Make a coffee table.

Q: What have you got when four dead babies are piled on top of each other?
A: A stool.

Q: What is easier to unload, a truck full of Dead Babies or a truck full of bowling balls?
A: Dead Babies; you can use a pitchfork.

Q: What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bricks?
A: You can't use a pitchfork on bricks.

Q: What's the difference between a barrel of water and a barrel of babies?
A: You can't shovel water with a pitchfork.

-penguinarmy

Not the wost of the "dead baby" jokes I have heard, but seriously not tastefull either.

Q: What's green slimmy and claws at your leg?
A: Abortion with homesickness.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
A: A pile of dead babies and ones still alive.

Q: What's red bubly and claws at the glass?
A: Baby in the microwave.

Q: What's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
A: I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

:closertodeath

You guys suck. Where are all the good ones?

What's blue and yellow and on the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What's red and yellow and floats on top of the water?
Floaties with a slashed baby.

What's easier to unload, a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of bowling balls?
Dead babies.
Why?
You can use a pitchfork.
Why would you use a pitchfork?
To tell the live ones from the dead ones.
What's this *flails violently*?
A live one

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What's silver red and a crawls into walls?
Baby with forks in it's eyes.

What do you call a limbless baby in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

What does a BMW and a dead baby joke have in common?
They're both old as shit and no one gives a fuck if you have one.

These are just my favorites. I assure you, I know more than everyone else on these boards combined. In fact, I was known for these jokes back in high school.

P.S. Offtopic: How do you make a 5 year old cry?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear when you're done.

EDIT: Here are some more:
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take my boots off to jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a baby and a pothole?
I swerve to miss potholes.

What's screaming, lopsided, and can't fit into an elevator?
A baby with a javelon through it's head.

What's black and bubbly and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave.

What's blue and fat and taps on glass?
A baby in a fishtank.

That is horrible.

I'm using it right when I get back to school.

One of my favorites of all time.

o__________O

Truly tasteless. I was eating dinner and now I don't feel so good...

X_x

You guys are fucking sick.

I'm so telling some at the next party I got to.

:wha:

EDIT: :wha:

Q: you know what's gross?
no.
A: a garbage can full of dead babies.
Q: you know what's even grosser?
no.
A: there is a live one on the bottom.
Q: know what's even grosser?
no.
A: he has to eat his way to the top to survive.
Q: you know what's even grosser?
no.
A: he goes back for seconds.

gogo stealing my jokes!

aha, so you're the one responsible for this travesty of an attempt at humor.

no, not at all, but i relayed the joke which i was told earlier that day to him and then he said it here

My friend just told me this one.....

Whats the differance between a baby and a trampoline?

You dont jump on a trampoline with hiking boots (think it was hiking boots)


EDIT: ok it was already said so here


Whats the differance between a dead baby and a BMW?

I dont have a BMW in my garage.

what the fuck?
i heard that joke in 5th grade...from jacob nelson...he was in some joke telling mood that month.
he probly won't remember though, too many drugs. :nono:

Ok some of them were kind of funny, but what's the deal with dead baby humour and shit? Makes me feel sick just reading those jokes... What's even worse is knowing there are people who actually do that stuff... :nono:

i dont exactly understand why they are pointed at dead babies, but whatever, they are still funny, it's kinda weird that jokes upset you, they are simply jokes, and they are not even very discriminitory

p.s. get a new avatar that doesnt have anything to do with starcraft, while your at it, get a screename using the same guidelines.

That reminds me of another one:

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with 5-year-olds?

A: Trying to get the bloodstains off of your clown costume.