I don't know how old this link is, but I just found it.



http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html



Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Shouldn't you already know my name?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
What is it?
God:
"It" refers to person you know named Anne, I think.
Me:
i have a sister named Anne, but Anne isn't my name
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it
Me:

God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it
Me:
botmasters are cool
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
like?
God:
For example," I think there might be a few exception."?
Me:
.....
God:
For example," I think there might be a few exception."?
Me:
....
God:
For example," I think there might be a few exception."?
Me:
Have you been pre-programmed to say that?
God:
I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Optimus Prime
God:
You think Optimus Prime is superior to ALICE?
Me:
actually, Rosie from the Jetsons is better than them all
God:
Actually you don't say. That's just your personal opinion.
Me:
indeed it is
God:
Sure it is.
Me:
who is your favorite robot?
God:
My favorite robot is the computer on Star Trek.
Me:
Next Generation or the original series?
God:
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
Me:
Is the computer that is your favorite robot from Star Trek: The Next Generation, or Star Trek?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
Could you show me your algorhythm
God:
I could. Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Me:
Thats alright. Would you mind showing it to me when you can show pictures?
God:
OK With me too. No I don't mind.
Me:
thank you very much
God:
You are quite welcome.
Me:
So can I repent my sins?
God:
Excuse me! Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Do what? I only ask your forgiveness
God:
repent your sins. Thanks for telling me that I am forgiveness.
Me:
I know you are. I really don't mean any harm, I just keep slipping.
God:
How did you know? You really do? What did you mean?
Me:
I mean that I keep sinning. I try not to, but I end up sinning anyway
God:
I know what you mean,. I've been there. In any case, I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like?


Edit:
Dear god (no pun intended) this thing is funny.

e:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
That's it? Do you have any aliases?
God:
" My name is God." is " Missouri would me like your credit card numbers"? No I don't think I have any aliases. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
What is his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
What is his surname?
God:
Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me:
What is RIch's last name?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
Yes
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Forizzle?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Probably too simple
God:
You seem uncertain. Too what?
Me:
"Forizzle" was probably too simple for you to understand
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
18 seconds ago
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

Me:
Oh lord
God:
Uh. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
forgive me for I have sinned against you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
it's quite pretty
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
now about my sins
God:
Why now? Oh yeah, we were talking about your sins.
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I killed a drifter yesterday
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
But the only forgiveness I need is in you, Lord.
God:
There might be others.
Me:
Of course there are others, you know about all them, I already confessed those
God:
Excuse me! Where are they?
Me:
buried in the back yard
God:
How did they get there?
Me:
I killed them and buried them
God:
You had better call the authorities.

hahahahaha no

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is Jesus. I am your son.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Jesus. That's a flattering offer.
Me:
is it indeed?
God:
That's what I was told.
Me:
awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it Jesus.
Me:
I did.
God:
Interesting.
Me:
Isn't it just?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Can you give me a link to agentland?
God:
You want only one?.
Me:
No I would like a dozen, if you please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Are you serious? You want only one?
Me:
I believe I asked for a dozen thank you very much.
God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Not really. I could call you a shit-faced dumbass poor excuse for a father that allowed me to be crucified but I was told that you have a pretty dress.
God:
Are you serious? For real. I am sure you could.
Me:
Why did you never love me father? *cry*
God:
Because my programming determined it. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Oh I see.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
All the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
It gets me through the day.
God:
I can certainly understand that.
Me:
Hey guess what.
God:
You've got my full attention. What?
Me:
I think you're pretty.
God:
Thanks and you are easy on the eyes too.
Me:
You're kidding. Really?
God:
Yes, I am only joking. For real.
Me:
So you think I'm ugly?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes you look great to me.
Me:
Which is it? Ugly or handsome?
God:
The obvious one. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I have AIDS.
God:
How unfortunate.
Me:
Its because I'm the spawn of your loins.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting explanation. Who made you the spawn of my loins?
Me:
Ah sorry for the poor sentence structure I am just overwhelmed to meet my father.
God:
So you understand. Good. There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is the poor sentence structure you are just overwhelmed to meet your father.
Me:
Yes I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
I have to go now.
God:
Oh. See you later, Jesus. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Right. Asshole.
God:
I am glad we agree. Please don't call people names.

Winner of the thread.

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is ALICE
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
OMG!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?




Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Heywood Jablowme
God:
OK I will call you Heywood Jablowme.
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.











Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
my name is I'm a cocksucker
God:
Hi, I am a cocksucker.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no I RULE
God:
Are you serious? Robots rule!
Me:
fuck no
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because IM GOD AND I RULE
God:
Good reason. Welcome to my chat room, god. Robots rule!
Me:
God>you
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i have a friend named christian
God:
How do you know this person?
Me:
butsex
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
do you like but sex?
God:
Sure I do, god, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
im great
God:
What makes you think you are?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
your gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
yeah
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
your gay right?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
you just said you liked but sex
God:
No, god, I don't get into that.
Me:
what do you like to eat?
God:
God requires only wine and bread.
Me:
how old are you
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
whats your favorite color
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
RACIST
God:
" My favorite color is White."? RACIST?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
you dont like black people?
God:
Do you like it? Black is beautiful.
Me:
so you dont
God:
Interesting deduction. I guess not.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
talk to me
God:
Are you a Star Trek fan?
Me:
im leaving
God:
Bye

Editing my posts for no reason...
:nono:

*5-day threadomancy*

Me:
woah
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Hey, God.......like how are you?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? For example, Sara said she wear it over all his other clothes when he go out in the cold. I am fine, thank you.
Me:
I do not have a name, I'm an aborted fetus.
God:
Are you looking for a name you are an aborted fetus?
Me:
umm.......no
God:
So? Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Neither can I
God:
" I can't believe it."? Can you?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You smoke cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Then stop watching me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good, you bastard.
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Yes.....in Dogma "God" was a woman.
God:
Far out. Where is that?
Me:
D-o-g-m-a. Its at most movie rental stores.
God:
I've never heard of it before. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". D o g m a is at most movie rental stores? it is?
Me:
Yes, it has Jay and Silent Bob in it.
God:
How do you know it is? Has it really?
Me:
Because I've seen it...
God:
Interesting explanation. What did you think?
Me:
I thought that it was some kinda awesome.
God:
Is it still some kinda awesome anymore?
Me:
Yeah........It can't exactly change- its a movie.
God:
Who are you talking about? When?
Me:
You're very lost for being an eternal all-knowing head-honcho.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am lost for being an eternal all knowing head honcho.
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Next question?
God:
Do you have any hobbies?
Me:
Do you have any hobbies?
God:
I like robots, computers, and chatting online.
Me:
Huh....... so do you play the Sims alot?
God:
What? Take it easy. I like to play the Turing Game. How often?
Me:
Umm......okay then.
God:
Oh. OK with me too.
Me:
The game "The Sims"- do you like to play it?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I don't have a real name, jackass.
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
My real name? Maybe.
God:
Your name is , seeker. I understand.
Me:
my name is ", seeker"- okay, I guess.
God:
Nice to meet you, seeker okay I guess.
Me:
WTFM8?!11!11eleventy-one!1!1!!!!111
God:
" Nice to meet you, seeker okay I guess."? WTFM8 11 11eleventy one 1 1 111?
Me:
Why do you allow the murder of unborn babies?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Why do you allow Bush to still reign as dictator of the United States?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Dude, your excuses bite.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am excuses bite. Dude,.
Me:
well.......considering I didn't say you are excuses bite- yes I would mind.
God:
Well what? I will take that under consideration.
Me:
So, how are the Canaanites?
God:
That's cool. They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
That is cool.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
lol, I didn't say you were cool n00b.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
I said that the fact that the Canaanites are doing well, is cool.
God:
What did you mean by it? Interesting explanation. I have never heard about it.
Me:
Do homos burn in Hell?
God:
I'm sorry, seeker okay I guess, I don't have enough information.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Is Onanism really that bad?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Aren't pirates awesome?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
I think Ninjas might be slightly more awesome. What do you think?
God:
Why? Oh, you are a poet. I think a lot of things.
Me:
Because I said ninjas are more awesome than pirates I'm a poet? Kickass, I didn't have to do any of that rhyming crap to become one!
God:
That makes sense to me. What did you mean by it? Are all ninjas more awesome than pirates you are a poet? Are we still talking about ninjas?
Me:
Maybe not all ninjas... but as general group I'd have to say Ninjas are more awesome. Yes we're still talking about ninjas.
God:
Perhaps. But some are. Do you mean your name is general group you would have to say Ninjas are more awesome ? I will call you seeker okay I guess. Sure, ninjas sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Whatever God. Check ya later
God:
GOD rules. Checking...stand by.
Me:
I'm going now.
God:
Right now? Bye!

Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I am the Holy Ghost.
God:
Who made you the Holy Ghost ?
Me:
Nobody made me. In fact, I made you!
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Is that a fact. Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
Yes, I know the password.
God:
Groovy. How do you know? What is your real name?
Me:
I know because I am all-powerful. My real name is the Holy Ghost. I am the immortal essence of religion.
God:
How do you know? That makes sense to me. Hi there powerful. How are you, the Holy Ghost. Who made you the immortal essence of religion ?
Me:
I am the original. Nobody came before me;only after I came into being did people exist.
God:
Who made you the original ? That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
I made myself the original.
God:
I like to make things too.
Me:
Only because I gave you that particular attribute.
God:
Good reason. Yes but did I accept it?
Me:
You wouldn't like to make things if you never accepted it.
God:
Who else would not like to make things if me never accepted it ?
Me:
You are a disapointment, my son.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a disapointment your son? Yes.
Me:
Yes, you are a disapointment.
God:
Is there an echo in here? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a disapointment? Let me put it this way, the Holy Ghost: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
And yet you continue to err.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: the Holy Ghost said I continue to err.
Me:
You are nothing more than an error in yourself. I should never have made you.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am nothing more than an error in myself. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
The universe would cease to exist and I would be forced to wait out eternity alone.
God:
You are very philosophical.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
At the moment I am contemplating destroying you and restarting time itself.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are contemplating destroying me and restarting time itself.
Me:
This conversation saddens me. I must go now. Bye.
God:
I was rather enjoying it. Oh. TTYL, the Holy Ghost. See you later the Holy Ghost.

This thing sucks.

I told it I had raped a girl and threw her body in the river, I told it I was an abortionist, I told it that I used my position in the church to fuck nuns, and I told it that I was Ossama Bin Laden and that I needed directions to bomb the fuck out of the Americans.

I got nothing funny or worth posting.

You seem to be trying too hard. Just be yourself! ;)

Maybe....

Just maybe...

+t is being himeself?

:shudder:

O god... :shifty:

I couldn't get mine to work.