It came again in the night. Creeping and slithering its way around, trying to get me.
I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what it wants, so I hide away. Cringing, until it goes.

The fear and the panic have left me tired. Even though it seems only moments since it woke me I have to rest, have to drift off to slee………

**

I’m awake, I’m calm. For once there is no dread. I try to make sense of what is around me. But it makes no sense.

I can’t see and I can’t move. So where am I?

Reason says I need a baseline, somewhere to start, so let’s start with who I am.
Ok. So who am I?

Do I have no memories?

That creeping, crawling sensation is starting again. It comes, I must hide, must shy away.
Slowly, awfully it fills my consciousness, I feel revolted by it's presence, hiding away, hiding my thoughts, hiding my emotions, I don’t want it here, it makes me sick, it invades me.

Later, much later, when it withdraws, I am exhausted again, my mind reverberates to its noise.
I drift into unconsciousness as the echo of it slowly dies away. Too tired to feel relieved.

**

Awake again. I must focus on finding myself. When it comes I want to know who I am. Somehow that will give me a means to fight back, I have to fight back.

A shudder runs through my thoughts as I force myself to remember its sound.

Ok, that’s good. Not the sound, I hate the sound, but the fact that I can remember something that happened. I have a memory.

That excites me, I can work backwards from that. Sad that the memory is of something that revolts me but no matter.

So what was that sound? Concentration tells me it was no sound at all. More like an idea, a thought. It was a word though, I know it was a word but it wasn’t a spoken word. Suddenly, like the solution to a crossword clue, the answer forms in my head.

“David.” It had said the word “David.”

**

It wakes me from a deep sleep.
Like an ethereal echo the word forms in the void over and over again. “David…….., David…….., David……..”

Concentration on the word helps me overcome the sickening, creeping, slithering sensation. The feeling of invasion is not so bad now that I have a focus. I don’t open up though. I can’t, I still don’t know what it wants, still can’t trust it.

I feel so helpless.

Less exhausted this time as it goes away, more able to think and analyse. Why did it say “David”?
Am I David?
Does it want to communicate, or is it just trying to get me to open up so that it can get in?

**

As soon as I wake I know I am David, it fits. But where am I, how did I get here.
I start to think back.

I remember a car, a sports car. A truly beautiful thing, smooth lines, sexy sound, a man’s car.

“Drive carefully now Sir,” said the salesman looking down at me in the low driving seat. His smile said another thing entirely.
“Enjoy.” He continued.

I smiled back as I turned the key, heard the powerful engine. “Oh yes I will, of course.” I replied. “Drive carefully, that is.” My smile said another thing.

Smooth, fast, good handling, smelling showroom new, I revelled in it. I was alone, a twisty, challenging, country road. I remember sliding on the bends, catching the drift, making it dance to the music from the CD player and the sound of the motor. The road surface changed, I pushed too far, too soon, too fast. I lost it, I remember leaving the road, I remember flying, I remember a tree, I remember…..

It comes again and disturbs my thought train. I feel anger now, I had been getting somewhere and it distracts me. I put up a barrier, trying to reject it.

Finally it goes away. I feel tired, too tired to try and remember anymore, but I feel some satisfaction. I am no longer at its mercy, no longer submissive. Logic says that it probably knows things about me that I want. I’ll face it, I’ll find out.

Just as I drift off I remember my last thought when I crashed the car. Another name, “Caroline”.

**

Caroline’s body responds to mine.
“Uhhhhhh.” She groans as my erection slides along her pubic groove, finding the sensitive spot.
“You bastard.” She gasps and gently bites my lip as I slide back down.
She wants me in her but I hold back, sensing that she’s not ready, not quite there.
My end goes below the most sensitive point and nudges her entrance. I can feel her trying to pull me in, trying to engulf me.

If I enter now I will last only seconds, I know it. She’s not ready.
I allow the tip to move forward a half inch, just sliding in, then pull back again. I make her wait, I lick her lips with the tip of my tongue.
She laughs, a deep throaty, sexy sound and thrusts her hips toward me. “You drive me wild. Get in there.”

I roll over and pull her on top, positioning her ready to delve, gently, inch by inch, until…….

The goddamn thing comes again, destroying my reverie, interrupting my thoughts but it did not wake me. In a sudden flash of realisation I know. Caroline is not a dream she is a memory.

She is real. I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

“David…….., David…….., David……..” It starts its boring intrusive noise. I’m angry, I can’t help myself.

“Yes…….What?”

There is a pause, a long silence, then…..

“David. Can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you. When you come I can hear nothing else.” I’m still angry and I’m getting bored with the slow progress. My memory of Caroline, my need to get back to reality is driving me on.

“Who are you?” I demand.

“Oh…………” Surprise at the change in me. “You can call me Bob. I’m Doctor Robert Snell.”

Ok. A Doctor then. “So.Tell me Doc, where am I?”

He hesitates. “Ah………. Ah, you're in a …….. a hospital.” Another pause. “You were in an accident.”
“I know, I remember. Where is Caroline?”

There is no immediate response. I start to wonder why.

“Doc. Was I badly beaten up? Why can’t I see?”

“David.” His voice is soothing again. “You will see again. It may take a while but we can fix that.”

“But……”

“David. Slow down,” he interrupts. “you have a long way to go but we have communication, we’ll start to make good progress from here. Right now though you must rest.”

He was gone. He didn’t fade like before, he just switched off leaving me talking to the void.

I am full of questions and have no one to ask. I fall back on logical deduction.
I wake and sleep, I wake and sleep again. And all the time I reason. There are no distractions, no irritations so I reason well, covering all the myriad possibilities.

Fear of the unfamiliar is gone. When he comes it feels strange and intrusive but now I know he’s a man I care less. The fear that starts to build inside me is a different brand.

How badly was I beaten up? Will I recover? When will I hold Caroline again? When will I see her?

I remember looking into her eyes across the table in a restaurant, I remember her looking at me with desire. And later, alone, I watched as she undressed for me, showing her body, seeing me grow aroused.

I need answers, I need to know.

**

When he comes again I’m ready. I have so many questions but it would be useless to fire them off one after another.

I’ve had time to think, time to analyse, time to prepare. There is one question that must be faced.

“David?” his voice is soothing.

“I’m here.”

“David I want to begin exploring the possibilities of what we can achieve together. I’ve put together a program.”

“Doc.” I interrupt. “Doc, before we start I need to know some things.”

He pauses long enough for me to carry on. “How badly am I damaged Doc?”
Again, that pause while he gathers his response. “Pretty badly David.”

“Look, just tell me what my chances are of recovery. You said I would see again, didn’t you?”

“I did and you will. We may be a little while getting that perfected, it’s more complex than the auditory interface, but we’re pretty sure we can do it. Of course then you will have some entertainment, you’ll be able to watch movies, read, meet people.”

I don’t understand half of what he is saying but seeing would be another step. “What about getting about Doc? When can I move about?”

“David.” His voice is even more gentle. “The paramedics were wonderful when you crashed the car. Most would have given up immediately on seeing the damage but they didn’t. You still had a heartbeat and they kept it going. They kept it going for as long as it took for us to save the essence of you David.”

“The essence of me? What are you saying? Do you mean my body won’t mend properly, have I lost limbs, what? Just tell me.”

“David. I don’t want to continue this now, it’s not the time…”

“For fucks sake Doc I need to know.” I tried to imagine myself without legs, I’d covered that in my preparation but now, at the point of getting to the truth I wasn’t so sure I actually wanted the truth.

“You were badly damaged David, most parts of your body were hurt in one way or another. We would have liked to have recovered something but your body was dying and taking your mind with it. We did what we could David.”

My thoughts seethe. In my analysis I had covered what if?
If I was too badly damaged I’d sooner die. I couldn’t live a cripple, couldn’t go on like that.
They would do that for me surely, wouldn’t they?
If they wouldn’t I would do it myself as soon as the opportunity arose.

“Just what did you do, what did you recover?”

“David. I don’t feel that you’re ready for this but…” he pauses again. I remained silent

What was he going to tell me?

“David. There was nothing external we could save. Your brain was undamaged and alive so we removed it. It’s never been done before David we’re breaking new ground here, pushing the envelope. Think David, you’re unique, you’ll never be dragged down by failing bodily functions. You’re unburdened by physical organs. You could live for centuries...”

He drones on and on. I’m not listening. I resign myself to the only fate possible.

“I WANT TO DIE.” I scream.

There’s a pause, silence.

“David, David come on now. That is not going to happen. You’re too important David, give it time, you’ll see.”

Calm now, determined. “If you don’t do it for me I’ll do it myself.”

Again the pause, the wait. Then he answers with a single question.

“How…?”

The real nightmare begins...

ffox

Interesting stuff! It's those pesky memories that make this situation a living hell. A good write, ffox.

You might tinker with this:

"You’re unburdened by physical organs you could live for centuries...”

Maybe needs to be two sentences.

This is pretty good, but I have the nagging question of how does he hear and speak to the doctor? Also, why is he more concerned about memories and doesn't seem to notice that he doesn't have a body?

Did I miss something? I think this all could be hinted at in some way to explain.

Let's see. We still don't have a rating, so I'll just say a 6 for now as those questions bother me a bit too much.

:blink:

Will

Thanks for the read. Your suggestion was ideal for testing the "edit" function. I did. It worked

Thanks

Marva

“Look, just tell me what my chances are of recovery. You said I would see again, didn’t you?”

“I did and you will. We may be a little while getting that perfected, it’s more complex than the auditory interface, but we’re pretty sure we can do it. Of course then you will have some entertainment, you’ll be able to watch movies, read, meet people.”

The MC is completely without normal interface with the world. Initially he doesn't even have memories. I tried to convey the slow dawning of realisation.

;)

ffox

I liked this. A consciousness that exists purely at the whims of others. Some of those guys in pursuit of ground-breaking science can be pretty ruthless, I'm sure.

The beginning may have been a little slow, but that was to do with the situation the character was in, utterly in the dark about everything. It picked up pace though and was a good read. The last line, "How?", was nice and callous I thought. It really implied that whoever controlled him now was probably out for personal gain, and perhaps revelling in the power they hold. A nightmare all right.



A few things spotted:

Later, much later, when it withdraws, I am exhausted again, my mind reverberates to it’s noise. -- its

A shudder runs through my thoughts as I force myself to remember it’s sound. -- its

That excites me I can work backwards from that. -- missing comma

“Drive carefully now Sir.” Said the salesman looking down at me in the low driving seat. -- ...Sir," said -- comma and lowercase

“Enjoy.” He continued as I inserted the key. I smiled back as I turned the key, heard the powerful engine. -- I noticed the repetition of a verb and 'the key' here, you could possibly change it a bit.

It starts it’s boring intrusive noise. I’m angry, I can’t help myself. -- its

He hesitates. “Ah………. Ah, your in a …….. a hospital.” Another pause. “You were in an accident.” -- you're



Good one.

a few things...

"Do I have no memories?" reads very awkwardly to me.

"Slowly, awfully is" should be "it", I think.

"I lost it, I remember leaving the road, I remember flying, I remember a tree, I remember nothing else………….." as I was reading I wanted this to end at "I remember..."

"thought train" feels more comfortable as "train of thought"

Personal preference here, but I could have skipped the sexual episode entirely. It felt like an interjection (no pun intended), as though I was being interrupted by someone else's story. I was more than satisfied (more puns!) with:

"I remember looking into her eyes across the table in a restaurant, I remember her looking at me with desire. And later, alone, I watched as she undressed for me, showing her body, seeing me grow aroused."

which is more in keeping with the flow of your language. I was reminded of a Twilight Zone (?), a person whose face was bandaged, the dialog being her thoughts in the darkness...wondering what she looked like as she began to see the light grow stronger as the bandages were slowly unwrapped.

Beginnings of nightmares, indeed!
Good story, read it with increasing speed, panic and intensity...whew!

Nikki

Bren, Jazz

Many thanks to you both. This is an old one but still worthy of improvement. I've edited in many of the suggestions that you have made.

Sheesh - we sure are testing the edit function here.

Jazz - with regard to the sex scene. I originally added it as an after thought as I wanted an obvious device that would make a young man really want to live. A lady reader commented that she liked it so it stayed. I agree that it probably doesn't fit with the "voice" of the piece but I left it in for now anyway.

I also left in "Do I have no memories.." as it's the sort of thing I would think :blink: - but then I may be odd (think???).

Many thanks both...

ffox

:huh: Duh. Thanks. I think that answers my question. I swear I went back and looked and didn't see this. I'm a lousy reader for detail, but a really fast skimmer.

booom!

that was really awsome. i started it, and i was like, well okay, this isn't too scary, then ...


oh.

:) great job.

Oooo...I liked this. It brought back memories of a story I read as a kid called "William and Mary." William was a scientist and very strict husband who didn't allow his wife, Mary, to smoke, listen to music or have fun of any kind. Upon his death, he had arranged for his brain to be preserved with sensory attachments.

The best part was when Mary found out and sued for custody of her husband (what was left of him). All day long she played records, danced and blew smoke from her cigarettes into the tank that held her husband's brain. For the rest of her life, poor William's brain seethed under her constant agitation. Haha

I hadn't thought of that in years. The really amazing part is that story was written around 1959. Pretty far ahead of it's time I would say.

Nice work Ffox!

Since we don't have a way to rate, I'll give it to you here: 7

I’m awake, I’m calm. (Should be: I'm awake; I'm calm.)

“Drive carefully now Sir,” said the salesman...(Should be “Drive carefully now, Sir,” said the salesman...)

Fishy - thanks for the read and comment.

Gayla - I remember that story, guess it made an impact.

Killian - the dreaded semi colon eh. - give me the horrors they do....

Thanks folks.

ffox

Ffox:

Semicolons are our friends…