deleted

Posted under my alias at EotW (*hangs head in shame*)

A bit too slushy for me...

This is sweet and somewhat erotic. Not sure what to make of it, but it's evocative and nicely written.

It does show love and that, in its essence, is true romance.

Good one Bren. I wish I was back on Eotw, where I could always find some crappy writting to crit. All you guys are too good.

tom

I really liked the emotions in this - believe I've even felt similar. I can only write something that passionate if I'm relating in some way to real life; if you're not, I'm truly jealous at at what you have accomplished here (but I hope you are : )

Bren, this was…wow…different.

I liked it, don't get me wrong. It was a cross between sexy and psychotic. So, it has my vote (7).

Thanks all. As I said, too slushy for me. Don't know what I was on when I wrote it.

Psychotic is what the girl here would probably think too, if she knew the guys thoughts.

If you ever figure out what you were taking, can I get some from you?

Guinness.
;)

Bren,

The first two paragraphs were a bit mushy for my taste, but non-the-less the writing was well done.

As the story moved forward, I got caught up in the emotion of the man (I'm assuming). I enjoyed seeing that viewpoint. As a woman I loved the ending, of course.

This may not be a story for everyone, but in my opinion your writing was very well done and the emotion well thought out and described.

Reminds me of Abraham Lincoln's reply when someone told him Grant was drinking on the battlefield.

"Find out what he drinks and give everyone a barrel of it."

Good old Abe. I could really go for a barrel right about now...

;)