Caught!

Parts: ??

Rated: PG

Spoilers: Uh… don’t think so…

Season: Any

Pairing: None

Summary: People notice that SG-1 is up to something rather... odd (w.i.p.)
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Late nights suck, Sam Carter determined as she was walking down the corridors of the SGC after working into the late hours of night on the naquada generator. Sam suppressed a yawn as she stumbled around to see who else was up at this ungodly time.

Certainly Jack isn’t here… Teal’c is, but he’s probably kel’nor’reem-ing, Daniel might be doing something on those runes with found on the last planet – gods I'm tired, what was the name of the planet? Uh…uh oh… Carter realized just how tired she was, she couldn’t even remember the designation for a planet and she always knew those.

As Sam hopped into the elevator, she started to hum to keep herself awake until she found someone to drive her home or until she found some damn strong stimulants or ooh, coffee – yes coffee sounded nice. Now who wanted to come with her?

She stumbled down the level’s hallways to find her friend Janet the doctor. If she wasn’t too busy – it was the graveyard shift mind you – maybe she’d get some coffee with Carter.

Sam was in luck, Janet was still here. Sam made a small knocking sound and smiled. Janet took one look up.

“Out!” she pointed back through the door. “Didn’t I tell you to go home?” Sam smirked.

“Yeah, then again, I’m no dog.” Janet’s demeanor wavered before she chuckled at the comment.

“So, what’s up?”

“Oh nothing much, I was looking for Daniel, Jack, or Teal’c to see if they were awake and maybe have some coffee with me.”

Janet yawned and stretched out. “Oh yes, coffee sounds divine. Commissary?”

Sam nodded wearily. “Hell yeah.”

The two women trudged up to the elevator and collapsed against the walls once inside. Each took a micro-nap before the car stopped at the commissary. The elevator came to a stop with a jolt, this jolt moved the women out of snoozing. Up and out they went and collapsed into the chairs of the mess. They were surprised little when the general, looking worse than they, came and plopped into a chair next to them.

“Well hello sir, how’s your night been?” Janet asked tiredly. The general kind of moaned an ‘mmm’ showing that this night sucked.

“Not so great women. Yours?”

“Not so great,” they answered together.

“Grr… late nights suck,” Sam muttered rebelliously to herself.

“Wha major?” the general managed to get out.

“Nothing, late nights suck.”

“Hear hear,” Janet noted. Once finished with their coffee, the general, the major, and the doctor all went their separate ways. Sam headed back down to grab her work she’d forgotten and perhaps find the rest of her team. The general stumbled back to his office to maybe catch a few z’s on his desk. Doctor Frasier rebelliously left.

Sam walked by on her last route to the surface when she stopped her humming to hear some other source of music, not humming, but perhaps singing. Curious, she walked off to investigate. As she walked down the hall, the music grew louder. Now she was intrigued because Jack’s ‘office’ was on this desolate level.

Carter recognized the music for classic rock and wondered who on earth would be up listening to music this late. Sam, unbelieving, took a quick glance at her watch. It was 00:10 – ten minutes past midnight, ick.

Now she was definitely close enough to hear strains of lyrics floating by. Something about pounds and bananas. The major almost strolled straight past her commanding officer’s office until she numbly realized that’s where the music was emanating from. The door was just a crack wide, she nudged it open with her head and leaned in.

The colonel was standing off-balance talking in a slightly southern accent with giggles punctuating the words. “Boy… boy… it sure musta been something. Just imagine thirty… thousand pounds… of bananas! Yes there were thirty thousand pounds… of mashed bananas. Of bananas, thirty thousands pounds… of bananas!” At this point he was following along with the CD in clapping his hands and dancing around like a nut. He actually wasn’t a half bad singer. Carter pulled her head out, shook it, and poked back in. Now the music had changed to something with a nice electric guitar solo in the beginning for now Jack was on his knees playing an air guitar.

Wow…that was err… odd? I’m just gonna walk away now. Sam thought. Down the hallway came a giggle from her. Hehe, Colonel Jack O’Neill caught red handed in the action. Sentenced to embarrassment. She chuckled again and stepped into the elevator to the top.

Later that week, Hammond was reviewing some of the files from previous missions for a meeting with the president about how needed the program was. He read through some of the most serious and nerve-racking to the funnier, light-headed ones. Then the general stumbled across a rather familiar file. The planet named Alarus and one Malikai. A window of opportunity, Dr. Jackson had called it if memory served.

He took a look at the rather long file, since Teal’c and Jack had been through twenty-one of these time loops before they fixed it. The file included many of Teal’c and Jack’s doings after they got bored with Daniel and his translating. According to them, it had been Daniel’s idea to do what they did – Daniel had apparently suggested that if they knew the day was going to start all over again, why not use it for things they knew they couldn’t do?

General Hammond snorted loudly as he opened the record. Colonel O’Neill had done enough to get himself court marshaled many times over, fortunately for him and Teal’c, no one actually remembered any of the loops except for the last.

Let’s see…Hammond thought as he thumbed through it. Riding a bicycle down the corridor, making pottery on ‘some medical device that spins,’ resignation, and…He came to the little known fact that hadn’t been included in the report, but was told directly about it from O’Neill. Hammond shook his headwith mirth. Kissing another officer… yes back to the file – and golfing through the Stargate. This one had intrigued him the most, though it was highly illegal and improper. It was kind of a shock to find that Jack and Teal’c could golf well enough to hit the event horizon and nowhere else. It was pretty damn funny.

Among the many, many reasons why the Stargate program was not a liability to any nation and actually was a good use for the insane amount of money that flowed in to power the gate, this was not going to be one of them. Hammond chuckled, restored the file, and propped open a new one to read.

SG-1 had been looking for the general for a while now. He hadn’t left, but he obviously wasn’t around. Sam made the remark that he might be in the bathroom. Jack had snorted at that one. Daniel tried to hold back a grin and Teal’c smiled along with them. Sam had turned around and asked “what?” Jack had faced his 2IC to remark.

“Carter, its kinda funny that the general would be, of all places, in the bathroom, when we need him, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she snickered quietly. They had needed to talk to him about some upcoming mission that Carter and Daniel had their doubts about and now he was ‘missing.’ The ironic part was that it was a Sunday and no one was on the base at five o’ clock, but SG-1 had just come in from a mission so they knew that Hammond was around there somewhere…

“That’s it, split up kids,” Jack ordered exasperated from nothing at all. “Carter, you’re with Teal’c, Daniel with me. Stay in radio contact so we all know if we find him.” They stared at him, half understanding what Jack just ordered – they were going on a search and rescue mission in the base for the general.

“Wha- sure sir,” Sam sputtered. “Come on Teal’c, we have some questions for some people.”

“That we do, Major Carter, indeed we do…”

As Sam and Teal’c started off down one hallway, Jack muttered cheerfully to Daniel. “Well, let’s go find our missing general, shall we Danny boy?”

With a flourish of his arm, Daniel answered back. “Yes we shall, lead on mighty leader!”

“That’s better…”

“What?”

“Nothing!”

Jack led the two of them off towards the restrooms and showers. They’d opened the door and hollered in there. Jack had even dared Daniel to holler in the women’s bathroom. And Daniel had, wisely, answered, “And what the hell would General Hammond be doing in the women’s restroom, Jack?” Jack had shrugged.

“I don’t know, but it’s worth a try.” In the end, Jack did one and Daniel did one.

“Excuse mewomen, but have any of you seen General Hammond lately?”

“No, not really… Daniel?” The archeologist slammed the door quickly and mouthed to Jack ‘Janet!’ Jack gave a face of mock terror and they fled. From within came the resounding giggles of Janet’s cohorts.

Next Jack led them up to the control room, knowing very well that one; they’d already searched it and two; Sam and Teal’c weren’t going to be searching it. Jack looked around at the vacant space. Not even Walter was there manning the gate and its many computers.

“Wow, you’d think it was a ghost town or something…”

“Mmmm,” Daniel muttered neutrally. Then they noticed something was amiss, something had changed since the last time they were in there. Ah! The blast doors were down. Jack frowned and went to type in his code to raise them again. From under the door came the blue light of the gate.

In the very center of the room was one Major General George Hammond setting his ball up on his tee. It looked as if he’d dragged a green in there and his golf clubs. Daniel raised his eyebrows and vaguely wondered where the general had dialed to. Jack put his head into folded arms.

“Oy…” Deja vu... Jack composed himself and grabbed the mic.

“Sir, do you mind if we join you?”

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Note: Daniel and Jack did not actually look in the women's room, just cracked the door and hollered... thought i should clarify

Jack, ironically, was doing some rummaging through the storage rooms and the lockers. Punishment for… he couldn’t remember what for actually. Probably something he deserved. Now he was cleaning, yuck.

Believe it or not, but it was kind of interesting what you could find in these rooms. Let’s see… Jack took up his inventory list of useful stuff he’d found that really shouldn’t be there. So far he’d come up with a nice list of stuff.

1. Four perfectly good hockey sticks.

2. Two nice pairs of ice hockey skates.

3. Two more pairs of figure skating skates. (Probably for whoever didn’t have hockey skates)

4. A beach ball – a HUGE one once inflated.

5. Golf clubs….hehe

6. A bathing suit – ew.

7. Eight grade textbooks?

That one had him puzzled, but he continued reading his list.

8. A full dinette set. Oh?

9. One of General Hammond’s books.

10. A baseball bat.

11. Squirt guns. Fun!

12. Some hockey pucks and balls.

13. A car tire…

The colonel wasn’t even going to ask about the car tire. Jack smiled wryly at his list, he probably should add boxes and dust. Not to mention a couple of old glasses and some rounds of ammo that shouldn’t have been there. Nothing quite so outlandish… yet.

Then Jack O’Neill struck gold.

At the very bottom, hidden under some rocks, the textbooks, the beach ball, lots of paper, and what-have-you, there was a picture.

Oh Good God! It was too good to pass up; someone was not going to be very happy when he found this on the base internet. Still holding the picture, he keeled over laughing.

When his hand hit the ground, another picture came flying out. Intrigued, Jack looked at it. It wasn’t as good as the other, but great just the same. The colonel didn’t think anyone was ever going to assign him this duty ever again after this.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, Sam was eating breakfast in her lab, surfing the web a little, and checking her email. She found one addressed to her from Colonel O’Neill. It was labeled: Look what I found on Cleaning Duty!

Sam was scared, but she opened it. It was noted that there was an attachment to it, a picture or something, but she didn’t except what it was.

The major looked away to flick off a piece of bagel from her shirt before she looked back at the laptop. When she did, she choked violently on her food. While her eyes were tearing, she read the caption to the picture.

Guess who this is!

Not too much later, Daniel was also checking his email and sipping on his nice, hot coffee. He opened some of his email, but hadn’t found the one Sam got. Yet.

Oh no… they still want me to reappear on the face of the Earth. Well no thanks, I like falling off the planet every so often, he thought happily. Then the computer happily beeped, alerting him of some other email.

From: Colonel O’Neill.

Oh jeez, what does he want? Help to a crossword puzzle or something? Daniel rolled his eyes as he opened it. Seconds later, coffee went flying.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They all met in the Debriefing Room like usual. Poor Daniel noticed everyone stealing glances at him. Sam and Jack could barely hold in a giggle. How many people had Jack sent it too?

Hammond walked in minutes later, relieving Daniel of the pain and he focused on the next mission. At one point while Hammond was talking, Jack burst out laughing. His CO glared at him.

“What do you find so funny colonel?”

He just pointed at the projection on the wall. Hammond looked and went white then chuckled a bit. They all looked up. Daniel balked and turned a deep red. The others laughed so hard they doubled over. Even Teal’c was biting his lip.

There it was, that picture.

It was a picture of a young Daniel Jackson in a small, bright pink, girl’s bathing suit with polka-dots and a duck flip-flops. The second picture was of a Daniel from the 60s-70s, looking rather “out of it,” having really long hair,and in all hippy stuff, and not the stuff from their little trip to ’69.

Not to mention, the huge glasses topped it all off. He was never to live this down. Ever.

Well, that explained the bathing suit Jack found…