Doppleganging Up

Number of Parts: ??

Season: not 8 or 6

Category: Humor/ X-Over

Rating: PG-13, for safety

Pairings: None

Spoilers: None that i can think of..

Summary: See Jack has a twin named Jack, and they have a friend named Mac...

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“Hey.”

Pause.

“This doesn’t look like you.”

“I know, sorry, I forgot to get my picture changed. Can I go?”

“No sir.”

“Marine, I have Level 6 clearance for this complex, look call General Hammond.”

He did just that.

“Sir, I have a boy claiming he’s-”

“Jack O’Neill?” The voice chuckled softly. “Send him down Marine.”

“Yes sir.”

The Marine glared at the man. “Hammond has allowed you in.”

A sweet smile appeared on the young face. “Thank you Marine.” The soldier glowered at that.

Jack O’Neill Jr. stepped into the elevator on his mission to Stargate Command to see his friends and his other. Jack frowned. His older other. But now Jack Jr. was 19 years old and did look exactly like the older, except for the gray, thinning hair. He grinned, if he dyed his hair gray, there was no way in hell anyone was going to figure the two out.

That might be fun… the younger mused. But nah, he didn’t want to look like a geezer yet, he still had twenty-thirty tears before he caught up with his elder. Jack Jr. mused that, although he knew that he looked like Colonel Jack O’Neill, he might be a little shorter, but not by enough to be noticed.

Jack Jr. had come from the Academy in Colorado Springs. He was a second year cadet there, being as he finished high school at 17 and he was soon to be accelerated to his third year perhaps…. curtsy of the president.

Now the younger walked out of the elevator in BDU’s that had been leftover from his brief visit to the SGC several years ago. Well…they weren’t the same ones; he had had someone make another pair for him that were bigger. He strode through the corridors and people saluted him, he was liking this.

After having to go through the Academy all over again and being treated like a little kid, Jack Jr. didn’t bother to correct the saluters. General Hammond had asked him to come to his office as soon as he arrived on the base and he did so… for once. As he arrived at the Control Room, the klaxons went off, proclaiming someone’s arrival. It was SG-1… wasn’t Jack in for a surprise. Hammond appeared over Jack Jr.’s shoulder.

“Hello son. Open the iris,” he said. Jack waltzed through the gate and looked up at the window to Hammond and saw his mini-me. Jack Jr. waved with a curious smile on his face. Jack pulled a face of his own and waved back.

“Welcome back SG-1,” Hammond welcomed into the mic. “After you’re cleaned up, come to the briefing room. They nodded and left through the door. Jack Jr. silently asked for permission to meet up with his friends and Hammond gave it. The younger took off.

“Hey O’Neill,” his own voice called out. There was only one person in the world who could do that. Jack spun around to see.

“Hey O’Neill,” he groaned back. Not that he wasn’t glad to see the little duplicate alive and well, but… it was his double, for real this time too, Jack noticed. Wow, he really looks like me now. Everyone else noticed it too.

“Hey Jack,” Sam grinned. Last time they’d seen each other, Sam had to call him sir. Now she had fun with getting away with it.

Teal’c bowed his head. “Greetings O’Neill.”

“Hiya Teal’c!” Jack Jr. smiled; it was good to be back. Jack had made his way to his double and looked him up and down in surprise. The man was his mirror…. Only younger, Jack noticed with distaste.

“Well hello young man, you have no idea what kinda shock I got looking up at the general and seeing you.”

“I can imagine. You shoulda seen me when I looked down at you, old man.” Sam smiled at that. “Now, where’s Danny boy?” As if on cue, Daniel came around the corner from the gate room and stopped dead at the sight of two fully grown Jack O’Neills. He blinked a couple times.

“Jack?”

Yeah?” they both answered. The elder looked at his doppelganger.

“Stop that,” they told each other. The Jacks pouted. Sam turned and smiled at Daniel.

“Jack two is back.”

“Oh no.”

“Indeed, DanielJackson, indeed…”

A/N: To think of what little Jack looks like, think MacGyver, without the poofy hair. oh yeah, this is a strange chapt...
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The team and its extra met up again in the briefing room. Jack Jr. took his normal seat next to Hammond. He relaxed into it until he caught the colonel’s glare and SG-1’s humorous expressions. Then he realized his mistake, it wasn’t his chair anymore. The cadet got up and moved next to Sam. Lord had he missed her! The colonel glared at the cadet for his mistake.

There was no time for words as Hammond came in the room and took his seat. A smile lit his kind face. “Hello Jack, Jack.” He’d been waiting all day to do that and they all knew it. The Jacks scowled at him, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Cadet O’Neill? Do you want to rejoin the SGC?”

“Let me think about that sir…. yes,” the younger replied all sarcasm. O’Neill gave him a disgusted look, even though that’s not how he felt. He’d be glad if his younger joined their rightful team.

“I’ve asked the Commandant to let you have an internship for a while, since you’re doing well in school, obviously.” Hammond let his gaze float to the elder Jack and back to the younger. Jack gave his CO an innocent look.

“Thank you sir.”

“I’ve also spoken to the president about your situation.” The general paused. Jack knew the pause was going to kill his younger. If it had to do with him, he’d feel the same.

“And…” the younger prompted. Hammond smiled as he recognized the impatience.

“He has let me know that because you are of invaluable help and expertise, he has promoted you to lieutenant. Congratulations.” The younger was wowed. SG-1 clapped for their friend. Jack gave him a smile as if to say that he knew it the whole time.

Once the clamor died down some, Jack took the opportunity to say something.

“Sir, I’d have to say that I taught him everything he knows.” The younger scowled at his older. They both had the same memories and they both knew it.

“Riiiiight.”

Jack threw him a particularly evil smile. “That’s right sir, lieutenant.” Jack Jr. gaped in disbelief.

“Never to you! Ever! I will not say ‘sir’ to myself.”

“Oh but you do. Rank hath its powers.”

“What? Hey, I have the same knowledge as you and the same rank!”

“You don’t anymore Jack. I’m sorry. It would make people wary.” Jack Jr. pouted angrily. “And Jack? I’m going to put you on SG-2.”

“WHAT?!” they all said, except for Teal’c who looked alarmed.

“I’m sorry SG-1, but it’s the president’s orders. I’m not exactly happy about it either. But his reasons are good.”

“And what exactly are those reasons, sir,” Jack Jr. gritted through his teeth. The colonel had been about to say the same thing, but left it to the copy.

“He believes that you and Colonel O’Neill will be distracted, that and the rest of the team, trying to get the right one of you. In a time of distress, I can’t have people saying O’Neill and getting both of you!”

“But sir-” Jack went to protest.

“Those are my and the president’s orders. I’ll try to change his mind, but I’m sorry.”

“I understand sir,” he said grudgingly.

“Good. Now about the mission?”

SG-1 had their debriefing about some planet, PC6-something or rather. The newly made lieutenant wasn’t listening. Instead he was silently fuming about this decision about rank and the unfairness of it all. Besides, he didn’t have to listen to the debriefing. Little did he know that they were plotting behind his fuming.

“You think he’s listening colonel.” Jack took one look at the young adult.

“No way in hell. Why sir?”

“Because he’s not going to SG-2.”

“Really?”

“You see sirs, you saw a lot of artifacts on the planet,” Daniel interrupted a bit louder than the rest of them. They looked at him confused.

“If we insert little snippets about the planet, he won’t notice even if he is remotely listening,” Daniel explained.

“Ah.”

“And colonel, I’ve decided to bring him back up to his rightful rank of colonel.”

“Really?”

“Yes colonel. You can see he’s incredibly unhappy about this, having to do things all over again. You would be too.”

“Yeah I know, so then why didn’t you just tell him?”

“I needed to see his reaction. If he acted fine then, he’d do it all over, but if not… well you know how close the Jaffa were to the gate right?” That was a cleverly disguised snippet/question. When Jaffa swarmed the gate, there was no way out and SG-1 had to fight though. What the general meant was that when the younger didn’t except his rank of lieutenant, he’d fight his way out so he could get his way through the gate, so to speak.

“Of course sir, we had to fight hard, but we regained control.”

Poor Teal’c had no idea what was going on, but he sensed that they were trying to deceive the younger O’Neill, so he kept shut.

Hammond then winked to those at the table and left to his office. After a couple minutes, he returned and took his seat again. He now addressed the duplicate.

“Lieutenant?” Jack’s younger head snapped up to attention.

“Yes sir?” He tried to keep all anger out of his voice. Jack picked up on it anyway, he knew his copy was keeping all of his feelings carefully behind a stone face, or trying to at least.

“I’ve just talked to the president asking him about your situation and how you would have to go through your life essentially all over again. He told me that it was up to me.”

“Oh? And what is my fate sir?” Jack Jr. asked with little feeling. He figured he wasn’t going anywhere in the rank business.

“I have decided to bring you up to colonel, well lieutenant colonel, so we can disguise your rank, but also be on the same level as Jack.”

The elder pulled a face at Hammond. “I’m not a lieutenant colonel.”

“I know Jack, but he is, for all your intents and purposes, a colonel.”

“Wait sir, so am I a colonel or not?”

“This is too confusing… Jack two, you are a colonel. You look exactly like Jack, so this means you also look at least thirty. And you are to be on SG-1, but you are under your own command, under the elder’s command. I do not want the two of you arguing about commands or who goes where.”

“That will be highly unlikely sir,” Jack smiled. After all, they did have the same thoughts and memories. “I’ll kick his butt if he does.”

“No way colonel, I’m kicking yours.”

“Nuh uh little man, you are sooo going down.”

“You wanta take this outside old man?”

“Colonels!” The two looked up from their banter.

“Yes sir?” they answered together.

Hammond looked at the other smiling team members. “Are we done here people?” They nodded. “Then dismissed.”

The Jacks smiled evilly at each other. “Come on little man, let’s take this to the mats.”

“Okay geezer.” And the continued down the hallway to insult each other, with SG-1 following like willing puppies.
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After the fight (the younger won the first round, then the elder kicked his butt the second and the younger called it quits) the whole team took off to the mess to eat. Younger Jack was communing with his best buddies.

“School sucked ya know. People kept asking me if I was related to you.”

“What did you say?” Daniel asked, interested.

“’Of course not sir. Who’s Jack O’Neill?’ Then they’d say 'sure you’re not.'”

“Sir, did you use a name in school?”

“Yeah, Jack Ryan.” The older Jack spun around.

“From the Tom Clancy books? You’ve gotta be kidding me.” The Tom Clancy books were their favorites.

“Yes I am.”

“Oh.”

“But this is going to get very confusing. I’m Colonel Jack O’Neill and you’re Colonel Jack O’Neill.”

“I had it first.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.

“Did too.”

“Did-”

“Sirs!” They gave Sam an innocent look, they’d been working on it for years.

“Yes?”

Daniel spoke up. “You guys gotta stop doing that.”

“What?” they said. Daniel muttered to himself.

Teal’c was curious now. “O’Neill, what is it like to be in the presence of each other.”

They looked each other up and down, not finding any thing different about each other that was on themselves. “Interesting... again,” the older Jack answered forgetting that the younger had the same memories as him and did indeed experience the other clones. The younger snorted.

“Yeah again.” Teal’c’s eyebrow went up. The team went to sit down after getting food.

“Ah jello, I’ve missed you.”

Jack’s eyebrows went skyward in mock disbelief. “They don’t have jello at the Academy?”

“No they don’t, isn’t that insane. I don’t know how I ever lived without it.”

“What about cake, please tell me about cake,” The older pleaded sarcastically.

“Nah, it’s no good. Lord did I miss this food, I mean look at the bountiful jello and cake,” Jack the younger responded just as sarcastically.

“You poor deprived child.” The elder reached over to ruffle his copy’s hair, knowing that he hated it. Jack also knew that the double wouldn’t appreciate being called a child either. The younger frowned and let it pass.

“Yeah, I know. I was also deprived of an annoying archeologist, a brilliant scientist even if she does confuse me… us, and a stoic former First Prime Jaffa. Not to mention, I have a date with a big gray metal ring with red lights that sort of flooshes sideways.” Jack theyounger winked.

“Glad your back then Jack,” Daniel grinned.

“Ditto sir.” Jack winced at the pun, both of them did.

“Now Carter, that was bad,” the younger protested. Their good time was cut short by an announcement.

“SG-1, please report to General Hammond’s office. SG-1 to General Hammond’s office.”

“Oh?”

The team took off down the hallways and into the elevator to see what it was that their commanding officer wanted. They stood there, impatient for the doors to reopen. Sensing the discomfort in his teammates, Daniel struck up a conversation.

“So… what do ya think the general wants us for anyway?”

Pause.

“I dunno Daniel, maybe another mission?”

“Sam, why would he call us down like that for a mission? Maybe it’s some new tip on the Goa’uld.”

“Yes Danny, maybe SETI’s finally made contact with aliens.”

There was a long pause of silence and the whirring of elevator parts before anyone spoke again.

“You know, it’s just not as fun when you know that there really are aliens out there.”

Always trust Daniel to come up with these things…but he’s right. You can’t make fun of SETI meeting aliens or Roswell anymore when you know it’s all real, Jack Jr. thought to himself.

The elevator released its anxious passengers on the 28th floor of Stargate Command. They all took off at a fast pace towards Hammond’s office. If the general wanted them, it must be rather important. Either that or he wanted to chat…

The small office was made to barely accommodate seven to eight people, so six was pretty tight, but they all fit no problem. Hammond motioned for Jack, the elder, to close the door behind him.

“SG-1, I just got a call from the president and it seems that some alien technology, of a foreign nature, has found its way to the civilian world and life.”

“Aren’t all alien things foreign?” O’Neill’s younger self pondered.

Jack shot him a nasty look. “I was gonna say that.” Hammond waited for the two to stop bickering.

“He got a tip from a reliable source that the object may have originated from Area 51 or from here. At any rate, it was procured by the NID and is now being circulated as a human made product.”

“Sir, what’s the name of this object?” Sam inquired.

“It doesn’t really have a name, but it supposedly heats things to a degree that has never been tested or reached by humans before. It stops all atoms movement, if I heard correctly.”

“What’s the use in something that heats something else?” Daniel wondered curiously. “There’s no use or purpose for it, unless it’s a way to shape strong metals like naquada or something.”

“To heat something so hot that its atoms simply melt away or stop because they’re so hot is incredible, but like Daniel said, I don’t see a use for it.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s being used and we need to stop it as soon as we get more information. In the meantime, your standard recon mission to PB6-546 is not scrubbed. Jack, the younger one, you are to go with them as Colonel Jack Hawke.”

“Colonel Jack Hawke? Wow, sir, I actually like that name.”

“Not bad Hawke, not bad at all. The name as a very nice ring to it,” O’Neill commented.

“Thanks O’Neill,” the younger retorted back. “Whose idea was it? The prez?”

“Actually,” Hammond chuckled, “it was Kayla’s idea.” The team exchanged silent looks. “You’re dismissed.”

They all stood up and left, discussing their latest adventure.

“Hmm… a heating device is on the market and the president wants it to be put out… interesting.”

“Hawke, it’s a heater for Christ’s sake!”

“An alien heater Jack,” Daniel corrected. He got scowled at for his help.

“Sirs, whatever it is, we got to get it if the general says so.”

“Indeed. I shall be glad to assist in the retrieval of this… heater, as you say O’Neill.”

“Thanks T,” both Jacks thanked. They glared at each other.

Carter broke the ice again. “So, how’s this planet we’re going to visit?”

“What? Peanut butter 6--?”

“546 sir.”

“Right. It’s got rocks… lots of rocks....”

“And trees, lots and lots of trees.”

“Shut up Hawke.”

“No.” Jack O’Neill spun and glared at him.

“Yes, you will shut up. You are mine and I will yell at you.”

Hawke chuckled good-humoredly. He knew O’Neill as well as anyone and he was kidding despite the glare. “Riiiight…” He smiled and kept walking out of the control room with SG-1 at his heels. Hawke headed for the locker room to change for the upcoming recon mission. Boring, but at least he was going off-world.

More importantly, it was with his team again.

Twenty minutes later found two Jack O’Neills and the rest of SG-1 standing ready in the gate room. The sergeant was calling out the chevrons.

“Chevron two encoded…. Chevron three encoded.”

Jack turned to Jack. “So you really are-“

“Me.” “You, yeah I am.”

“Which means you hate and despise-”

“Trees as wholly as you do… yeah.” Jack the elder clapped a warm hand on the shoulder of his clone.

“Good.”

“Chevron seven…locked!”

The Stargate opened with its customary floosh. The team walked up to it and waited as Jack Hawke revisited the old days. Jack O’Neill went to walk through and stopped just short. He looked over his shoulder at the clone.

“Welcome back to the team… Jack.” With that, he threw himself through.

The team arrived on the other side to see exactly what Jack had predicted – trees and rocks. Well, at first there was a short field, surrounded by these trees and no doubt rocks. The Jacks sighed together unknowingly.

“Let’s go…” they ordered together. The team smiled. Jack Hawke was settling back in nicely with his team.

“Yes sirs,” Sam smiled

“Carter, fan out. You’re with Teal’c.”

“Daniel, you’re with me… and me,” the clone ordered. It seemed the two of them didn’t even realize that they were talking like that. It just didn’t occur to them, apparently. Colonel Hawke started where Colonel O’Neill left off… or vice-versa.

“Great… I get stuck with the both of you? Oy!” Daniel muttered sarcastically. The Jacks turned to look at him with, eerily, the exact same look on their faces. They leered at him mockingly. Daniel was startled by the look. Sam took this as a sign to go and took Teal’c with her.

“Come on Danny… let’s go,” Hawke said.

“Hey, that’s my line!”

“It’s mine too!”

“No its not.”

“Yes it is, it’s yours so therefore it is mine!”

“Shut up Hawke.”

For once he listened. Daniel knew this wasn’t the end of that.

Off in the forest somewhere, Carter and Teal’c roamed about. Carter was thinking and, of course, doing her duty, but thinking too. Sam was thinking about the ‘heater,’ as Jack had so graciously named it. Sam took in her surroundings. It was like a New England forest. There weremany trees, but there was a tree, then room to walk and then the next tree, with its share of roots along the way.

Atoms don’t melt do they… no, they split. And when atoms split…oh my God! “Teal’c!”

The stoic Jaffa stopped and spun. “Is something wrong Major Carter?”

“Holy Hannah, yes it is.” Sam took a breath and launched into instant scientist mode, fast speech and all. “Teal’c, remember when General Hammond said that the ‘heater’ could either melt atoms or make them stop moving, but he couldn’t remember be cause he wasn’t listening?” Teal’c nodded, allowing her to continue. “Atoms don’t just melt Teal’c, they split. When atoms split, it has a special name called nuclear fission. Nuclear fission is what’s used in atomic weapons. Teal’c, that heater is a nuke!”

Teal’c didn’t look fazed to those who didn’t know him, but Sam did. She knew he was actually as alarmed by this as she. He keyed the radio. “O’Neill.”

“Yup?”

“Major Carter and I need to meet you back at the Stargate.”

“Why T?”

“Major Carter said that your ‘heater’ is actually a nuclear device for war.”

“A nuke?!”

“Indeed.”

“See you there in a bit, O’Neill out.”

Sam and Teal’c turned back to the gate at a moderate pace.

Over a mile away were Jack, Daniel, and Jack Hawke, who was complaining about something that had hit him in the head.

“You know, I hate Newton.”

“Yes, Hawke, I know.”

“Right. Heh, at school we had a group called SASIN, Students Against Sir Isaac Newton.” O’Neill looked his ingenuity in the face.

“That’s pretty neat. Now it needs to be called CASIN,” O’Neill stated as he rubbed his head annoyed slightly. Jack Jr. smiled and instantly knew something had nailed him in the head too.

“Colonels Against Sir Isaac Newton, right.” Daniel just kept up with the two of them. Not bothering to intervene unless it was getting to him. Then the radio cracked to life. A deep voice emitted itself.

“O’Neill?”

Both of them went to key in their radios. O’Neill, the elder, turned a serious glare onto the younger and he backed off. “Yup?”

“Major Carter and I need to meet you back at the Stargate.”

“Why T?” Jack had a confused look on his face.

“Major Carter said that your ‘heater’ is actually a nuclear device of war.” The group’s eyebrows skyrocketed. They knew what Teal’c meant, even if he put it oddly.

“A nuke?!”

“Indeed,” came the grim voice.

“See you there in a bit, O’Neill out.”

The mini-group was stunned. A nuke was on Earth being sold as a bloody heater?! They needed to tell General Hammond about this. If the people holding it ever got the temperature high enough where nuclear fission occurred… oh boy…

“Jack?” They both swiveled toward Daniel and noted the look on his face. It said ‘Jack? How-about-we-get-moving.’ They couldn’t agree more.

“Well, hello Carter. Fancy meeting you here,” a voice grinned from behind her.

“Hello sir.” She spun to find a young person standing in front of her. She did a double take and then realized who exactly it was.

“Yes, what a fancy Carter.” Sam spun back around and found another Jack leaning over the DHD, grinning evilly. Sam pleaded Daniel to save her silently. She noticed that Daniel had a slight smile on his face as he sauntered up to the group.

Sam sighed in exasperation. “Oh God! I’m stuck on a planet with two them!” Daniel’s grin opened wider. Teal’c even allowed a small smile of his own. The two Jacks smiled at each other.

“So Carter… what’s this about my heater?” Jack said, deliberately hitting a symbol as he got off the DHD. Sam smiled at his attempts of dialing home early.

“Sir, the so-called heater is a nuclear weapon and who knows what else it’s capable of. Hammond did say that intel reported it as alien.”

“We have reason to believe that the rogue NID is trying to use this device to their advantage O’Neill.”

Hawke was getting kind of pissed out not being treated the way he was supposed to be treated, as the leader of SG-1. So he coughed politely into his fist. The team spun to face him, slightly annoyed, but soon realized what the glare on his face meant. At least Sam and Jack had the decency to look away. Daniel and Teal’c were caught up in their own little world.

“Sorry sir,” Carter managed as an awkward apology. Hawke pointedly stared at his elder, knowing full well that Jack O’Neill would never apologize to him. O’Neill did move aside to allow a small opening for Hawke to be further integrated into the circle.

They all shuffled uncomfortably until Hawke brought up the subject again cheerfully and as full of sarcasm as always.

“Sooo… the heater is an alien nuke. What the hell would an alien want with a nuke that’s somewhat like our own?”

“He’s got a good point Carter; why not make your own kind of nuke if you’re an alien?” Sam shrugged nonchalantly.

“Honestly I don’t know, but we need to inform Hammond.” Daniel looked up at the rapidly setting sun; apparently days here were a bit shorter than Earth days.

“Uh guys, it’s getting late, so either we call Hammond in the morning, dial in now and sleep here, or just go home.”

“Well, we’re not due for another…” O’Neill paused as he looked at his watch. “6 hours. So I guess we dial it up, tell him, and see what he wants us to do. Agreed?”

The leader watched as his whole team agreed to this action by nodding their heads… or bowing them, as it was in Teal’c’s case. With the familiar sounds of a dialing gate in place, SG-1 sat by to deliver their message. The M.A.L.P. sent through by Hammond earlier that week came to full power again as it readily consumed the urgent delivery.

“Sir, Carter thinks that this heater of ours might actually be a nuke. She mentioned something about atoms splitting and making fission – which apparently makes A-bombs.” Off camera, Jack Hawke saw Carter’s rather impressed face. He smiled at her awed expression.

“I didn’t know you actually listened,” she grinned back at the young colonel.

“Yeah, we have our charms occasionally.” A bemused grin lit up Daniel’s face as well as Sam’s at the mere thought. Jack heard them discussing this, turned, and scowled at them both. Hammond suppressed a chuckle.

“Colonel?”

“Ah Carter and Hawke are making fun of me…err, us? Sir.”

“Right… I’ll get this information to the president immediately and I’ll see you back here at ten-hundred hours tomorrow morning. SGC out.” With that the gate shut down with its familiar and possibly comforting /shooowip/.

“Well campers, I guess we’d better get some sleep. Ain’t that right Sir Hawke?” Jack played sarcastically. He’d put on a slightly southern accent to complete the deal.

“Yes siree, Sir O’Neill. Them doggies won’t last ‘til sundown.” The Jacks looked each other in the eye and turned towards Daniel.

“Which, directly translated, means: drum-roll please…” O’Neill flourished his arm out towards his friend, who was completely caught off guard. Hawke continued the drum-roll.

“Wha? Oh… get to bed now or else?” he attempted to translate Jackian without much success.

“Close enough Danny boy, close enough. Now get to bed… or else!” the younger mock ordered. Sam and Daniel straightened to a ramrod position and saluted.

“SIR YES SIR!” they shouted. Although Daniel lacked the finesse of an officer, he’d been around enough saluting people to last him a lifetime on how to salute. Teal’c just smirked from his position on the sideline.

“That’s better kids,” O’Neill smiled.

The team, without any help, hit the ground as soon as the bedrolls were spread. It wasn’t that the walking had been strenuous or anything, but a Stargate trip just took a lot out of you sometimes. You’d think they’d got used to it by now, but this was one of the rare times where gate travel just pooped them out. For now, the nuke could wait.

Morning came swiftly among the slumbering humans… and Jaffa. Sam was up first, then Daniel and Teal’c, and then of course were the Jacks. They smiled knowingly at each other. Sam went to poke her COs.

“Sirs… sirs, it’s time to get up,” she half whispered. Then Daniel joined the fun.

“Jack… Jack, get up. It’s time for wakey-wakey!” Sam grinned at the archeologist. Teal’c then joined in. Knowing how much O’Neill hated to be awoken, he tried a different tactic.

“O’NEILL!” he roared in their ears. They woke with a start and glared at the big Jaffa. He grinned and half bowed. “Glad to be of service, O’Neill.”

“Of course you were Teal’c,” the elder replied. Hawke snorted his distaste.

“Anyway, where’s the god-damned coffee?”

Sam turned towards the main tent and pointed at the peculator. The Jacks sighed gratefully and made a beeline for it. The team grinned and watched in amusement. The two were so alike it was pretty funny; then again, one of them was a clone of the other.

“They’re sooo predicable,” Daniel said. Sam nodded happily.

“Indeed, Daniel Jackson, indeed,” Teal’c grinned.

“Shall we join the pissed colonels?” Sam inquired.

“Lead on might major,” Daniel pointed the way. The team came to sit down next to the two colonels who were contently drinking their coffee. Daniel had to prod,

“So, how is it?”

“Could be better,” they answered and scowled at each other, yet again.

Daniel looked proud, “I made it.” They looked at each other then at the coffee in their hands.

“Really?” Hawke asked.

“Yeah, all by myself.”

“Good job then Danny boy,” O’Neill approved. “Now, who let him make today’s coffee?”

They all smiled.

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Later on, the team gathered at the gate ready to head through and see what that night’s slumber had brought on for those at home. First they contacted the SGC to see what was up.

“Daniel?”

“On it.” Daniel automatically dialed the gate and the M.A.L.P. sprang to life. Jack O’Neill bent down to look through the camera.

“Well hello Earth, what’s happening?”

A chuckle came through the line. “Jack?” The transmission was silent as Hammond consulted someone in the background. O’Neill heard them muttering.

“That’s him right? Not the younger?”

“Sir, he’s got the gray hair.”

“Right. Hi colonel, what’s happening?”

“Actually sir, I was going to ask you the same thing about our bomb situation. As for us, well, Hawke is still around here… somewhere… ah, there he is. And we’ve all had our coffee, so I guess that makes us ready to come home. What about you?”

“Well Jack, we’ve actually had a threat from the people with this device and I want SG-1 to go it alone and find it. The device is on Earth, we have a way of tracking it – sort of. Someone here uploaded a program to one of the satellites so it can see naquada.”

“Clever.”

“Yeah, so ready to come back?”

“Yes sir.”

“Open the iris.” Jack heard the command through the MALP. “SGC out.”

“Okay kids, let’s go home.” They stepped through.

“Hi sir, good to be back in the land of abundant coffee,” was the first thing Jack O’Neill said when he came through.

“I second that,” Hawke peeped up, not wanting to miss a beat.

“Hello SG-1, how was your mission?”

“Well sir, you know how I… we love recon missions,” O’Neill said sarcastically. Hammond gave him a ‘really-Jack’ look and he sighed. “Nothing was there that shouldn’t have been.”

“Right, debriefing in one hour.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later found the team in the Debriefing Room waiting for Hammond. The Jacks were playing football with a folded up piece of paper and flicking it across the table. It was Jack Hawke’s turn as O’Neill made the uprights. Hawke gave it a good hit and O’Neill snatched it out of the air as quick as possible.

“As you were,” Hammond said, noting the game’s end. They smiled innocently. “The president wants all of you ready for twelve-hundred hours. He wants this nuke stopped and retrieved before anyone gets hurt.”

“Okay sir, so what do we do?”

Two hours after arriving home found SG-1 armed to the teeth and searching out some old warehouse. It didn’t look all that bad, but you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Jack and Jack were together with Daniel of course, and Sam and Teal’c were by themselves, scanning the area.

It was a big warehouse and they had to go pretty far away from each other to search the whole thing. Jack pressed the button on his radio and spoke very softly.

“Carter, we’re going to search the perimeter.”

“Okay sir, be carefully.”

“Roger that, O’Neill out.” With that, Jack made some hand movements telling both Daniel and Hawke that they were going out and around. Once outside, the three of them explored the area thoroughly. Daniel thought he heard something and motioned to the Jacks to come along. O’Neill went to whisper in Daniel’s ear.

“You go check it out and Hawke and I will cover you. Got it?” Daniel nodded and went to search, his Beretta held out in front of him. Hawke stayed behind O’Neill and looked around, up and down. The two didn’t even notice them until the people were on top of them.

Daniel came back out to find that the Jacks were gone. Completely ignoring the silence factor Daniel tore back into the warehouse and went to find Sam. Coming around a corner, he found a gun in his face. Automatically he held up his hands.

“Sam! Don’t shoot!”

“Right, sorry.” She looked around. “Where are Colonel O’Neill and Colonel Hawke?”

“I don’t know. They’re gone.”

A/N: The characters talk a lot in this chapt... they wouldn't have it any other way...

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“Mrph…mmmm! Mrghmph mugph mrghl!”
“Shut up.”

“Nmmmph!”

-Smack.-

“Mrphh!”

The Jacks struggled against their bonds violently, trying to find a way to get free. Their captor kept right on top of them though.

“Now MacGyver, that I have you…”

“Mcmmhm?”

“I know it’s you and that you tried to take down my organization a couple weeks back. Your Phoenix Foundation is… let’s say, rather tiring and I’m running out of money to keep playing these games.”

“Hemm, ymmg hrv he wmrnmg permmem!”

“Shut up MacGyver. I do not have the wrong person. But this child is an unexpected bonus. Maybe your Foundation will pay extra for him? Yes, I bet.”

A sigh emanated itself from the bonds of the captured. They resigned from struggling, knowing that they only might get hurt.

“Uh boss? Who’s that?” a dumb voice came from the front of the van.

“Who’s who?” the man with the sharp voice answered. He went to the front and O’Neill and Hawke listened carefully for signs if they’d seen Daniel, Teal’c, or Carter.

“Hmm… a duplicate MacGyver? Very clever of you… get him, even if he isn’t MacGyver, they may pay for him too.”

The Jacks looked at each other worriedly. Another clone? But Hawke was the only one… oh boy. The van took off at a fast speed and the sharp-voiced man cackled.

Outside the van, the man they were tracking took note of the van plowing for him and took off running. Since this was a rather abandoned place, there wasn’t any place to hide and he knew it. The van speed up and gained on him. Unfortunately, a building blocked his right and the van blocked his left. The only way he was to escape was to keep running until the end of the building. It wasn’t too far now… He heard a door slid open and a hand grab the back of his shirt.

Shit.

He was thrown unceremoniously into the dark back of the van along with the other two. He was bound quickly and soon lay in the same predicament as the other two. It wasn’t until after he was bound that he noticed the Jacks and their uncanny resemblance. They turned to each other and the light fell upon their faces. The resemblance was not only to themselves, but to him too!

“Hmmly mhitt!” the older one cried out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a rather long car ride and much staring, done on the part of the other ‘clone,’ the men opened the van door and they all squinted against the harsh light. Finally, they could all see each other. Jack and Jack peered at the other man in awe.

“Mut pthe mmel?” Hawke mumbled to himself. The four men led the three captives into a cell-like thing and took off their binds and gags. They locked them in and left the room.

“What the hell is this!” O’Neill yelled. The cell had one measly light bulb and concrete walls and floors. It was a big, gloomy cell, but a cell all the same. The only exit out, after escaping the cell, was a big vault door which led to the building they were in.

“Ah hell…” Hawke muttered, kicked the wall, and sat down. O’Neill sat down with him. They looked at the last man. He looked at them.

“Who are you?”

“You, I think… Who’s he?”

“Oh, he’s me.”

“Really?”

“Maybe, so who are you?”

“Name’s MacGyver. You?”

“Oh, so you’re the one they were looking for. I’m Colonel Jack O’Neill.”

“Army…?”

“Nah, Air Force.”

“And you are…?”

“I’m Colonel Jack Hawke, also of the Air Force,” he announced.

“Oh great….”

“What?” they asked together.

“Two military personnel?”

“You have a problem with us?”

Mac shrugged. “I have found that military men tend to be close-minded, that’s all.”

The Jacks turned to each other. “Stereotype.”

“Uh huh,” O’Neill agreed. Jack gestured to the enclosure. “How do we plan on getting outta here?”

The other two shrugged. “There’s nothing here for me to work with.”

Hawke checked himself. “And they took our stuff.” MacGyver checked his pockets and came up with something.

“I got my pocket knife.”

“Well that’s something at least.” A problem came into O’Neill’s head. “How the hell do you look like us Mr. MacGyver?”

“Mac will do. I don’t know. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters and I wasn’t adopted either… you?”

Jack looked at the copy. “Neither did I…” Mac was confused; he looked blatantly at the younger. Mac had become blunt in his later years.

“So then, who’s he?”

“My copy,” Jack sighed. Hawke punched him on the arm.

“Hey!”

Jack ignored the protests; after all he’d been putting up with himself for years now and never gave in. Mac gave the duo a wry smile. “How old are you?” he asked out of the blue.

“52, you?”

“Same.” Hawke was getting pissed off at not being talked to and being treated as an adult. He’d dealt with it for three years and then settled in nicely with SG-1 again. Now snap! It was back to being a nineteen year old. Hawke leaned over and whispered something nasty in Jack’s ear.

“Damn it, Jack, if I don’t get treated same as you, I’ll tell him!”

“Tell him what? That you’re my clone?”

“Hell, I’ll tell him that and more. He’s my ‘twin’ as much as yours. And don’t you tell me that’s not what you were thinking.”

Jack O’Neill grunted. “Bastard.”

“Thank you. I try.”

“You guys done?”

They nodded and stood to join their ‘twin.’ “So…wanna be me?” Jack asked. Mac eyed him with a critical look.

“Sure. Now... he’s old enough to look like us, but he doesn’t have the hair…” Hawke grinned evilly at that reference.

He muttered something sarcastically that sounded suspiciously like “Old man…”

“Hey, who you calling old?” Jack and Mac asked. Then they looked at each other and frowned.

“Dammit…” Jack said rather sarcastically himself. Mac smiled. He was going to like his new ‘siblings.’

“MMMMRRP! MMMRRRPPP MREEE!”

The bad guys came running to the cell. They had the place on tape so they heard the adamant cries of the youngest. The young man was duct taped to a chair and had a large piece of tape over his mouth. They ripped it off fast and hard.

“Ooowwww! That freaking hurt!”

“Enough! Where’d they go?”

“How the hell should I know? They duct taped me to a chair and left.” The oldest man in the group grunted. They didn’t really believe him, well… maybe.

“Search the room,” the old man (who was only 60ish) said to his men. One of them gave Hawke a nasty look. He recognized him from the ride – it was the sharp voice man.

Bastard, Hawke sneered. He turned his head and briefly eyed the place where Jack and Mac were hiding. He smiled to himself as two of the four ‘agents’ got closer to the spot, completely unaware of their well-being.

He heard two grunts, the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and a combined “Ow” as the two held their hands in a bit of pain. Hawke knew that when they all punched, if this MacGyver was their twin, that they followed it through with their whole body. They weren’t the greatest boxers, but they tried. Hawke smiled sweetly at the old guy and kicked him back. He went to join his original and their twin in action. The last guy looked afraid and went to scamper out of there.

“Oh no you don’t…” Hawke muttered as he grabbed the man near the door. He tripped, fell, and banged his head on the door of the cell. He wasn’t unconscious, yet.

“Where’s our stuff bub?” O’Neill asked.

He pointed and stammered. “O…over there…. Thru door, down hall, take left – 1st door on your…… left.” He passed out.

“Good. Let’s go.” The triplets marched out through the door and followed the man’s instructions and they found an arsenal with the military men’s stuff in it. Mac waited patiently as they got geared up. Once out in the hall again, the Jacks raised their guns to a point where they could fire easily. Mac looked nervous.

“What?”

“Are you actually going to use those?”

“If need be, yes.”

“Ya know, you don’t have to solve things with guns.”

“I… we don’t shoot to kill, just disable. Besides, it’s only for defense,” Jack countered. “The things we usually see shoot first, talk later.”

Mac looked like he understood, but hated the idea. “Okay, but only if there’s not another way out.”

“Agreed. Hawke?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I should really smack you one of these days, you know that?”

“You’d do that?”

“In an instant.”

Hawke refused to answer this round for fear of what his elder might do to him. Mac smiled, it was back to the easy banter of before.

“Let’s go,” he smiled calmly. The Jacks scowled at each other for good measure and walked off. Carter, Daniel, and Teal’c had to be worried about them… right?

“SG-1? What happened out there?”

Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c squirmed a little under the question. Teal’c stepped up to the plate and answered Hammond.

“According to Daniel Jackson, they were abducted.”

“Abducted?” Hammond echoed unbelieving.

“Indeed. After their abduction, Daniel Jackson came running to Major Carter and I to tell us of things come to pass.”

“Yeah,” Carter seconded, “Daniel came tearing around the corner, I put my gun in face, he told me not to shoot and then told us that the colonels were gone.”

“So what happened near you Dr. Jackson?”

“Um, Jack informed the other Jack and me that we were going outside to check the perimeter. I thought I heard something and asked the Jacks over to come along. Jack O’Neill whispered that I should go check it out and they would cover me. After I came out, I looked around to find no one there. So I went running to Sam and Teal’c.”

Hammond nodded nervously.

“So what do we do sir?” Sam asked quietly.

Hammond looked at her, her eyes were searching his. “I don’t know yet, major, I don’t know.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All three of the men knew they had to get out and now Mac was armed with his ‘tools of the trade.’ Duct tape, his Swiss Army pocket knife, some rope, and other various odds and ends that had found themselves into his jacket. Knowing Mac’s aversion to guns, the Air Force twins had switched their weapon to a zat. When they’d pulled the zats out, they had had to explain them to MacGyver.

“What’s that?” Mac said, looking suspicious.

“This?” Jack waved the hand with the zat in it.

“Yeah.”

“This is a zat,” Hawke answered and O’Neill smiled.

“Short for zat’nik’itel.”

“Oh? What does it do?”

“It stuns people instead of killing them,” O’Neill gave the half-truth. Mac saw right through it.

“Does it really?” he asked disbelievingly. The Jacks looked at each other.

“Yeah, first shot stuns, second shot kills, third shot disintegrates.”

“What!” Mac was a science guy; he knew what was possible and what wasn’t with today’s technology. “That’s not possible today!”

They shrugged. “It’s a new military device that’s rather classified. We use it a lot in our line of duty – one shot only.” MacGyver looked as though he approved ad they continued down the hall in a military fashion – one after the other, checking the way for problems.

They came to a large room with several people sitting in it. The door was on the other side. There was no way they were going to get across without being seen… and these guys had guns.

“Crap, so now what?” O’Neill asked quietly. Mac started surveying the materials around them all.

“Hmm…”

“What?” Hawke was curious and so was O’Neill. After all, they were related… in some way or another…

“Well, I could create a distraction, send them running in two directions, then you two could zat them, I guess. It’d save us a couple bruised knuckles.” He grinned at the last part. The colonels smiled back.

“Do your magic.”

“Yes sir.”

Mac ran off leaving the other two ‘O’Neills’ stranded. They sat and waited knowing that whatever their twin was doing, he would get it done best if he were alone. They waited… and waited. Not that it was long, but it wasrather boring.
Ten minutes later, Mac came running back. His eyes were lit up like a kid in a candy shop. Hawke and O’Neill stared at him.

“What’d you do?” Hawke asked.

“Yeah? You look like you just ran out of a bank with tons of money.”

MacGyver sighed happily. “You’ll never believe what I found!”

“What?” the two said sarcastically. Mac scowled at them briefly.

“Dry ice, detergent, baking soda, and vinegar.”

Well, they knew what baking soda and vinegar did, it created lame volcanoes, if you did it right. Now what about the dry ice and detergent?

“So…?” Jack urged.

“So, dry ice and detergent makes a lot of bubbles.” Seeing their disbelief, he added, “A LOT of bubbles. And piled under a bunch of tins and pans, well…”

They smiled happily. “It makes a big distraction.” Mac nodded proudly, a job well done!

“How many did you set up?” Jack asked quietly.

“Three. One in each corner, except the one behind us.”

“Sweet!”

“Shhh! All we have to do is wait a minute or two.”

A minute or two later, crashing could be hear. The guys with guns jumped up, startled at the loud noise, and ran to different places trying to find the source of the noise. Smartly, they left one guy to watch the open space. Carefully, Jack O’Neill took aim. Thud. One done, four to go.

“Next time, I get to zat him!” Hawke protested. O’Neill nodded.

“Whatever.” MacGyver grinned slightly.

“Let’s go!” The trio took off across the area as fast as they could run. Just as they past the downed guard, one of the others saw them and starting shooting, drawing the attention of the others. Jack, Jack, and Mac sought refuge behind a Ford. Hawke and O’Neill starting firing back. One by one they hit the floor, unconscious. Mac checked one guy over to find that what his twins said was true, they were only stunned. He turned to them.

“Cool!”

“Yeah, sweet little things aren’t they?” Hawke showed off, proudly looking his zat over.

“Hey, think this car works?” Mac asked.

“I hope so,” O’Neill answered. They hopped in as O’Neill took the wheel. He reached for the ignition and found a key in it.

“Well would you look at that? Someone left a key in the car!”

“Jack!” the younger warned. Jack Sr. smugly grinned back. Because the door of the warehouse had been opened, Jack drove the truck straight out onto the dirt road leading away from their captors.

“So, where we going?” Mac asked once they got out on the highway.

“Cheyenne Mountain Complex,” the driver answered.

“Gotta cell?”

“Uh sure. Hold on…” Hawke fooled around a bit until he fished out his cell phone, which looked remarkably like O’Neill’s. O’Neill glowered at the younger man, who shrugged his shoulders.

“What can I say, I liked the phone.” MacGyver rolled his eyes good-naturedly and placed his call.

“Hey Pete, its Mac… Yeah, I’m fine… You heard about that? Well, I’m headed to the Cheyenne Complex with some… friends of mine… No, you can’t come… No Pete, I’m fine! Take care… yeah, see ya.” He hung up and tossed the phone back at Hawke.

“Don’t mean to be prodding, but who’s-”

“Pete? Peter Thorton, He’s a good friend of mine, he was once my boss at the Phoenix Foundation.”

“Hey, I’ve heard of that place!” piped the Jack in the back of the truck. “The Phoenix Foundation is a “think tank” in Californ-i-a, right?”

“Yeah. Now pipe down youngin!” Mac joked. For that, he got a smack on the shoulder.

“Now, now children, do I have to separate the two of you?” said O’Neill mockingly. They sat like perfect angels and answered him.

“No Father.”

“Good.”