Defense Attorney: "Will you please state your age?'

Little Old Lady: 'I am 86 years old.'

Defense Attorney: 'Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night
of April 1st?'

Little Old Lady: 'There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a
warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat
down beside me.'

Defense Attorney: 'Did you know him?'

Little Old Lady: 'No, but he sure was friendly.'

Defense Attorney: 'What happened after he sat down?'

Little Old Lady: 'He started to rub my thigh.'

Defense Attorney: 'Did you stop him?'

Little Old Lady: 'No, I didn't stop him.'

Defense Attorney: 'Why not?'

Little Old Lady: 'It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died 30
years ago.'

Defense Attorney: 'What happened next?'

Little Old Lady: 'He began to rub my breasts.'

Defense Attorney: 'Did you stop him then?'

Little Old Lady: 'No, I did not stop him.'

Defense Attorney: 'Why not?'

Little Old Lady: 'His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt
that good in years!'

Defense Attorney: 'What happened next?'

Little Old Lady: 'Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just lay down
and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me!

Defense Attorney: 'Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: 'Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot
him, the little bastard'