Title: • hesay, shesay.
Description: sam!
Desiree Lane - August 28, 2008 08:49 PM (GMT)
It wasn't that Desiree was picking sides? Because it wasn't like her to pick sides. Sam knew that, Shawn knew that. But when everyone started picking sides, she just found it incredibly immature. About all the feuding on the internet. And she honestly cared because she didn't want to end up losing two friends when they once were a onesome? But after the phone call with Sam, and all the things she heard over the internet, it was just really getting stupid. She called Sam and apologized and said that he was the last person she wanted to lose. And then hearing about the threats from Shawn to Sam, that was just really breaking all boundaries. So, Sam and Desiree grew up together. They experienced a lot of things together, they were inseparable for the last four or five years. After the bulletin, which just was yelling at the two for bring on this much extra stress, she started thinking about Skylar must feel having all her personal business thrown out so everyone can read.
As she impatiently waited for Sam to come over, Desiree sat on the couch, staring at the TV screen blankly. It was a rerun of a MADE episode, one she had probably seen before but she couldn't even recognize anything on the TV. She was too busy feeling horrible about what Sam said to her. About cancer taking away most his childhood, that probably killed her the most. Pulling her knees to her chest and draping a purple throw blanket over her, she stared out the window, every light in the house off, and just waited to see Sam. She would immediately attack him with hugs, and then cry, and then cook.
Sam Twilight - August 28, 2008 09:05 PM (GMT)
After the last message he sent Desiree, Sam dropped his phone, hanging one lanky arm off the side of his bed, nuzzling his nose into his bright pink Jigglypuff pillow and sobbed his brains out forever. He was glad she had said she still wanted to be friends, but Sam was just so emotional at this point and extremely fragile. He sat up, his head hanging as he pressed his wrists against his eyes to try and wipe up what he could of the watery black makeup that covered his face and cheeks, but it was almost useless. Sid was out, so he couldn't exactly crawl into his room and beg for lots of hugs and ice cream.
Soon enough, the boy gave in and decided to get dressed, pulling on a black beater and a hoodie overtop, and then some jeans he found on the floor, walking over to his mirror and attempting to wipe off the liquid makeup, but it just wouldn't leave. Right now, he didn't really care. He made his way to her house without a word, hood draped over his head, almost jogging because it's just where he needed to be. So, without knocking, he creaked the door just ajar, and stared at it for a second, before walking in without a word, he just cleared his throat so he would be heard. What hurt also, about the bulletin, was how she'd accused him of wanting attention, and that just made Sam extremely frustrated on so many levels.
Desiree Lane - August 28, 2008 09:48 PM (GMT)
Desiree wasn't shocked if she got yelled at. She probably was next on the Oakland hit list for the bulletin but it needed to be said. Shawn should stop threatening lives and Sam should stop the rumors. It was all over bulletins, all fucking over bulletins. She wondered how Skylar felt, seeing her whole personal life on MySpace, having people reply to everything. She thought about how each one of her friends would feel if she picked sides. People didn't seem to understand that picking sides would make everything so much worse. Yes, she's known Sam much longer but Shawn has lost everyone, too. If she were to abandon one of them, it would ruin all that they put into that friendship. If any of that makes sense.
Hearing Sam's clearing of his throat broke her out of her trance but Desiree didn't seem to get up. Patting the spot on the couch next to her, she reached over on the coffee table, and turning off the TV with the remote. Staring at him, she just sort of felt her eyes well up. She felt horrible for what she said but it needed to be said because everything was taken way too far. She loved Sam to death and has loved him for as long as she could remember, the first day she met him, actually. So, seeing him now, in her house, with no one home wasn't new. It just felt new. Sighing, she leaned her head on her knees and focused out the window, unsure of what to say. This silence was killing her and the tears kept falling down, she was pretty sure she looked like a wreck. In her little white and blue striped dress with her little white knitted jacket. Her mascara probably kept running down her cheeks but she didn't care, she didn't know what to say anymore.
Sam Twilight - August 29, 2008 12:03 AM (GMT)
Sam leaned against the doorframe before he stepped inside. He never thought this simple little act that everyone seemed to do without caring everyday could get him into such shennanigans. I mean...everyone was doing it? He wanted to know what he was missing out on, and he just didn't see what was so wrong with picking Skylar to do it with. She was one of the only girls who was actually willing, so Sam thought...But he just felt so bad that it was now spread all over MySpace, with everyone knowing. Even if Lukas' status update did make him laugh, this wasn't a laughing matter anymore. Shawn and him were through, finished and over and he'd try his best to stay best friends with Desiree, they'd need a custody plan or something.
Sam lifted his head up, his large brown and sorrow-filled eyes staring at the girl in front of him. He saw her eyes well up, and his bottom lip stuck out in an ubelievable pout he tried to cover with his manicured fingers, but it soon turned into a extremely sad frown. He shut his eyes, hiccuping as he leaned against the doorframe, before trying to get his feet to move to come inside and shut the door, but he just couldn't move. He stood there hugging the doorframe forever, his arms around it like it was his only hope, or something. Sam looked just as bad, runny makeup, scraggly hair, dirty jeans, and black hoodie, that had a rip in the front that was very visible. "Desiree..." he croaked, barely audible, but was definitely heard by the girl, because of the wimper towards the end.
Desiree Lane - August 29, 2008 02:29 AM (GMT)
It's not that Desiree was mad at Sam for losing his vcard. It's not like she wanted to take it or anything, it's just with Shawn's ex-finacee. Even if Shawn cheated, it still doesn't make it any better. And now that Sam's first time was spread all along MySpace and Oakland, he'd never hear the end of it. Plus, she didn't want to have to equally split up her time between Shawn and Sam, she wanted them at the same time but all those hopes were over. Plus with college coming up, her days would be devoted to school, Griffin, her friends who are totally okay with each other, and then Sam along with Shawn, who cannot be the in same room. What was she going to do for her eighteen birthday three months away? Have two separate parties? This was just too much to handle.
The brunette didn't feel like prettying up. She didn't feel like pretending everything was okay when it really wasn't. She hadn't felt this upset in a long time. Looking up at Sam as he said her name, she jumped up and latched her arms around his waist, as she started bawling in his chest, "I'm so sorry." she said, muffled into his shirt and between the heavy sobs. She wasn't sure why she was just randomly breaking down but it felt so good to finally be able to cry with her best friend, for some odd reason.
Sam Twilight - August 29, 2008 02:51 PM (GMT)
For public things, Sam would just have to grin and bear it. He was simply not talking to Shawn, it didn't mean he could be in the same room. But knowing Shawn would try and get him to be his friend again would be tiring, and Sam just wanted to avoid the whole thing, at least for a while. Your first time was supposed to be special, but now it really wasn't and that's what Sam regretted. It started special but was now the cause for a Myspace uproar. Sam just wished he'd kept it in his pants, even if it was extremely good. He could have just waited like he'd been doing...
Sam's hair was a scraggly mess, knotted and tangled since he hadn't washed it when he last spiked it. He knew the girl wasn't prettied up but he always thought of her as a perfect girl, at any time. She was just his best friend in the world. When Desiree jumped up, Sam had flinched and covered his face, thinking she was going to yell at him, even if she had already apologized, but he simply felt the heat of her body against his, and her bawl into his chest. "Don't be, this is all my fault..." he hiccuped, as he had one arm accross her back and the other on the back of her head, kicking the door so it was closed. A few seconds later, he started bawling just as hard, nuzzling his nose into her hair. It did feel good to cry with your best friend, oddly, and this is what Sam needed for a long time. He'd been crying alone for too long!
Desiree Lane - August 29, 2008 06:51 PM (GMT)
Sure, Shawn would try. But Desiree hoped her didn't, only because it would get stressful for all three of them. All she told herself was to focus on the good memories, like when Desiree's dad died, they all curled up in her house for a week, and they listened to her bawl constantly. And for all the parties they all went to together. Also all the laughs they had together, the inside jokes, everything. It was just so unfair to have that all thrown away. She sort of blamed herself, maybe if she paid better attention to what was going on instead of spending all her time with Griffin after his homecoming, maybe things would be different. Just maybe.
The thing about Sam was, she didn't feel the need to pretty up, he'd love her for who she was. And he would most definitely believe in her, comfort her, and watch after her, even if Shawn and Sam weren't going to work together. Even though Sam was the baby in their little threesome, Desiree knew they looked after her more because she was female, because her dad was always sick, and because she was prone to running away. She just wanted all this to stop, things to go back to normal. She wanted to remember when everything was fine, "It's not your fault." she managed to joke out, pulling away slowly. Wiping her eyes with her index fingers, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Smiling through the tracks of mascara falling down her eyes, she just sighed and sat down on the step before hitting the mainfloor. Resting her chin on her knees, she continued to try to calm herself down, "Please forgive me."
Sam Twilight - August 31, 2008 04:15 AM (GMT)
Shawn could try all he wanted, but Sam wouldn't budge, ever. Actually, until he decided he was ready to be his friend again, which could be soon, or never, but most likely never. Sam's birthday was soon as he'd have to call him to basically uninvite him to the fondue he was having, anyways. All the stuff they did together, was over, but no necessarily forever. Though, it was more likely that way. Maybe they'd be friends again but it'd never be the same. Sam couldn't ever trust his words, since he'd lied, and that was how you lost Sam's trust, something he usually gave to anyone.
"It is." Sam scolded himself, before picking her up off the main floor and pulling her over to the sofa, sitting her down, still bawling. "Let's just stop crying. We're okay." he told her, attempting to force a smile, but he still had the sick feeling in his stomach. "We'll be okay, Desiree, I promised. My promise still stands. Yes...The Promise." The Promise was something he'd swore to her so long ago, probably back during his chemo, that he wouldn't die on her and he wouldn't leave her side, ever.