AN: Oh god. Why? Because I'm listening to trippy Irish music and giggling insanely at my best friends cry of 'OMG, Jack DID have the Doctor's man-babies! He admitted it! You heard it, right?!' (Torchwood how I love thee) So I think I'll freewrite some funnies. If you feel the need to flame, go ahead. I could do with a good belly laugh.
Title: Mr Connor Zulay Paynn-Penn's bad day.
Summary: ...it's just strangeness. Slash and Mpreg. Can be seen as a forgotten 'Crack time' spinoff.
Rating: T
***
Connor Zulay Penn-Paynn is currently hiding in Beau's stall, fighting the urge to bang his skull open on the old sinthetic wood of the door. The gold boned dragon looked down at his breeder in confusion for only a second before sighing to his bright red stable-partner and shrugging it off as a 'human thing.'
Why would Connor Zulay Penn-Paynn be hiding in his most prized possession's stall you may ask? Well, the author believes it is your right to know and will tell you: his ex-husband and the twin he had taken custody off after they had broken up were currently stomping around his stable looking for him.
Although, to be fair it was probably Word doing the stomping, if the unmistakable clunk of platform boots Connor could hear were right. Moordryd had always been a somewhat quiet child.
"Connor Penn show yourself before I tear apart this entire structure trying to find you!" Word yelled, crossing his arms across his chest and tapping the golden claws of one hand against his oposite arm. "CONNOR!"
Moordryd (Who had come only out of curiousity and a hope of seeing his father yelling at someone else for a change) had gotten bored with Word's temper tantrum and made his way over to where Lance sat playing video games. "Father, I think I'm going to sit down over there until you're finished." He called over before starting up a convosation with Lance about the latest in VIDD-game technology.
It was at this moment that Artha, teenager of Gold Dragon Speshul-ness ran into the sable. At the sight of Word Paynn he let out a very un-hero like girlish scream before composing himself enough to yell. "Word Paynn! What are you doing here?"
"Hush up boy!" Word snarled, turning on Artha. The Dragon Booster's mouth snapped shut with a squeak. "You listen here, tell your absolute prat of a father to some out here this instant so we can settle this like men!"
And Artha, being the obedient-when-faced-with-disembowlment-by-claws person he was, nodded. "Uh...dad? I think Word wants to talk with you!" He yelped .
"Tell Word I'm not speaking to him!" Connor yelled back from his hiding place before cursing his stupidity at giving away where he was. "I'm not coming out!"
"Oh very mature dad." Lance barely looked up from the screen while adressing the hidden red head. "Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to kill this guy! TAKE THAT! Headshot! Ha HA! Who pwns who now?!"
Moordryd leaned over his shoulder and whistled in awe at Lance's obvious gaming skills. "What team're you playing?"
"Merc-medic combo. Sweet, huh?"
"Look out! Guy in stealth gear!"
"Where? WHERE?"
"Lance I have no idea what you're saying but if that's pornography I will ground you until your dieing day!" Connor stood up, finally face to face with his ex. "Word."
"Connor." Word looked down his nose at the breeder, thankful he had worn his extra-high shoes today. He thought sadly back to the time that his tone of voice would've had Connor trembling.
Both of the older men sized each other up, eyes blazing. If they had been dragons they would have been crackling with mag energy.
Lance, who had died due to a stealth attack, was now watching the goings on with a strange curious look on his freakly face. Moordryd rolled his eyes and made a 'shoot me now' guesture with two fingers to his head. Lance agreed heartilly. Artha however, was crawling out of their firing range so he didn't get caught up in the crossfire.
"What exactly did you come here for? I know it couldn't be just to see me Word." Connor sighed, looking up into his rival's grey eyes.
"Connor..." Word said softly.
"Ew, old man sexual tension." Moordryd made an 'icky' face. Lance snorted with laughter and Artha punched him in the arm.
"I heard that young man!" Word yelled, suddenly remembering why he had come here. "And as for you Connor Penn, I want to know why you think it would be wise to demand child support payments from me!"
"Well, since you decided to blow up my home and put me out of work I thought it would be appropriate for you to support your son." Connor growled back.
"My son? I seem to remeber you telling me that if I ever came near your son you would..." with a glance at the children sitting up against the wall he lowered his voice. "Do something quite unkind to a place I see fit not to mention." He finished almost sadly.
"And I hold to that, no matter how much of a shame it may be." Connor agreed, standing his ground. "You know, if you weren't into the whole world domination thing this wouldn't be a problem..." He reached up to stoke Word's cheek affectionately.
"Okay, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit." Artha muttered.
"Artha Penn you are not too old for me to spank you!" Connor roared, causing all three to huddle up and whine in fear. He turned back to Word with a pleading look. "Please Word..."
"Don't try to change me Connor." Word pulled away and straightened his robes. "I will fight this all the way. Moordryd! Let's go!" He stomped off, not looking back at his ex-lover.
Moordryd sighed and climbed to his feet, walking over to his dad while putting on his version of Lance's patented 'hatchling eyes'. "Daaaaad, can I sleep here tonight? I think Rivett's trying to rape me in my sleep." He made sure to make his lip tremble a little while looking up at Connor.
"I hate it when he does that! It's so...creppy-invisa-suprise-sex you didn't know you wanted." Artha wrinkled his nose.
Connor let out a groan at Moordryd's eyes. "Alright, you can come over." He winced at Moordryd, Artha and Lance's squeals. "But no staying up too late! Yu and Artha both need to go to the Academy tomorrow and I'm not getting another phone call telling me you're both aslepp. Again!" He walked back to his hiding stall and sat on the floor. "Now if you don't mind I'm going to do something I've wanted to do all day."
THUNK. Owie.
"Thats better."
Wow, plain weridness, Kay Yasha. Even I ended up with a typo error there. :D
Weird, but still funny especially the part where Connor hid in Beau's stall and the Connor-Word confrontation. ^_^
Is there more?
*Bursts out laughing!* :lol: :lol: :lol:
I love it! :P
0_o Woah, someone was feeling random!!!! Heh, this is great, way better than my attempts at Crack. To sum it up: LOL.
"Old-man sexual tension!!!!!!"
I loved that line, Thank yew, Moordryd. ^_^