Title: Santa Comes To Town!
Co-authors and/or betas: My friend, Dani
Genre/s: Comedy, Parody
Summary: My best friend and I find a Santa costume... with Christmas on the way there's only one thing to do! MAKE A CRUDE ATTEMPT AT COMEDY, THAT'S WHAT!!!!!
Main character/s:Me (Ash) My friend(Dani) The Penn Crew, Moordryd, Khatah, other people...
Pairings: M/K, but not much. Don't worry A/K shippers, it should be ok!
Rating: PG
Warnings: Contains use of the word "Damn" and "Freak" Also character bashing.
Word Count: Haven't bothered to count it.
No. of Chapters: Um...
Complete/WiP: I don't even know what this means.
Concrit: Encouraged
Mary-Sue: Sure, why not? I like to consider myself perfect... dunno about Dani...
Disclaimer: I do not own Santa or Dragon Booster.
A/N: My friend and I... we're in Dragon City. Randomly. With no good reason of how we got there. STOP ABUSING MY PLOTHOLES!!!!! >.<


'Hey Dani, check this out!'
'Coooool!!!'
We were rummaging through some of Artha's things. He calls it looting, I call it prospecting. And I had just prospected myself a Santa costume.
'I didn't know this place had Christmas!' Dani squealed as I yanked it out and tried it on. It was pretty faded and was stained in some places, but I thought I looked all right.
'Of course we have Christmas. It's December!' Artha snapped. 'And what have you done with my Mum's stuff?'
'Quick Dani, hide the bag!' I hissed. She threw it out the window and it landed with a crash.
'I have no idea what you're talking about,' I said sweetly, fishing out the beard. It was itchy and there was a suspicious yellow patch on it, so I flung it aside.
'I'll go without the beard,' I said, grabbing the Santa bag. 'This sorta looks like a body bag doesn't it?'
'Yeah, let's get Parm and put him in there and chuck him off a building!' Dani cackled. Artha raised his eyebrows at her.
'How about no?' I said.
She scowled. 'Well, I've been a good girl, do I get presents?' she asked.
Moordryd appeared out of nowhere. 'No you haven't, you've been a very naughty girl!'
'Well at least I haven't been freelancin' round the City with no clothes on. Word was doing that the other day.'
We all cringed with disgust.
Word suddenly ran past us, NAKED.
We lost all sight for five days.
When we regained our sight, we loaded up on "presents," put on the dodgy Santa outfit, and ran around the City.
'Shouldn't you have put some padding under that outfit? Jolly fat guy?' Dani questioned.
'SILENCE ELF!!! I REFUSE TO MAKE MYSELF FAT!!!!' I roared. PLUS I AM NOT A MAN!!!!'
'Ok ok,' she muttered. 'Touchy.'
I wasn't listening. I heaved the sack over my shoulder and bellowed 'HO FREAKIN' HO HO!!!'
I swung my sack at anyone who got to close, cackling as I did so.
'Hey Nightmare Santa? Do you think you could lose the "Destroy all Humans" look and be a little more jolly?'
'Oof!' Khatah yelped as I drove him into the ground.
'HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TAKE THAT KHATER!!!'
'Don't you mean "Khatah?'' ' she said.
'SANTA KNOWS ALL!!!!' I roared. I whapped my sack over Vociferous' head.
'Taste my DIVINE WRATH!!!!!'
'I think you need to settle down. Just a little,' Dani said.
I went over to Artha and reached into the back of... um, "goodies...."
'YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY!!! YOU GET WRAITH GEAR!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!'
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODFKJDKFGBVLIEDKGBFUGHERVJKGFLDKJSD!!!!' Artha spasmed on the ground as the gear beeped quietly.
I turned to Moordryd. 'As for you, you've been a very good boy.'
'And what do I get?' he asked as Dani cringed.
'A PASH FROM SANTA!!!!!!!' I roared, hurling myself at him.
'No Ash, NO!!!' Dani cried, trying to pull me away.

ONE RABID FANGIRL REMOVAL LATER...

We went around delivering "happiness" to all, (Dani calls it the Gift of Death, but what does she know?) and when we found Word, I gave him a fashionable dress, which he wrapped around his head (IDIOT) and sprinted away, still starkers.
Khatah got a rock.
'Why would he need a rock? That's stupid. You're stupid. This whole City is stupid!' she whined.
'SILENCE, ELF!!!' I screamed.
'Why am I the elf?' she demanded.
'Coz I'm Santa. Now come on, we gotta give Parm some dragon poo.'
'And dare him to eat it!' Dani added eagerly.
We suddenly came across Lance and Phistus randomly playing paper scissors rock.
'BwaHAH! I win!' Lance grinned. 'You always pick rock!'
'Gosh Darnit!' Phistus grumbled.
'YOU'VE ALL BEEN VERY NAUGHTY!!!!' I yelled, coming out of nowhere. Phistus nearly pooed his pants with shock.
Dani handed me my Santa sack.
'HO HO HO, TIME TO GET JOLLY ON YOUR NAUGHTY BOTTOMS!!!!!' I screamed at them, remembering my "good" language vow just in time.
After disciplining Phistus and Lance, we high fived each other. Dani did a victory jig.
'VIcTorY!!!' she screamed in a horrible off-key voice.
I brought up my hand and slapped her in the face,
'OW!!! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?????? THAT HURT!!!!!' she roared at me.
'Word blinded me, I don't need you deafening me!'
She glowered at me and made obscene hand gestures behind my back.
'So,' she said after a while, 'being your FAITHFUL elf, what do I get?' Dani questioned.
'We'll see laterz.' I said, grinning evilly.
'Well, just so you know, as well as cash, a new car, a puppy, ninja suit, million dollar diamond ring and all that other stuff, I could do with an elf suit ya know?' Dani said.
'Buzz off Dani ya greedy ELF! Now go give Parm this whole bag of dragon poo. It's his SPECIAL present!' I said.
Dani pulled on a pair of gloves and threw the whole bag at Parm, who somehow ended up covered in the stuff despite Dani's bad aim.
We decided to go looking for Pyrrah when we saw the Penn Crew crowded around a box.
'What's that?' I asked, shoving my way through.
'Chrisco's come!' Lance said happily.
'CHRISCO???' Dani and I said together.
We peered eagerly inside.
'OMGZ...' I said slowly.
'HEALTH FOOD???' Dani wailed. 'FRUITCAKES???? THIS IS CHRISTMAS, NOT THE HOMEMADE HEALTH STUFF CONVENTION!!! WHERE ARE THE CHOCOLATES????'
'They decided to get healthy on our jolly bums!!!' I cried.
'Hey, where's Kitt?' Artha asked, oblivious to our screams.
'Uhh... I think she went to the toilet to do a number 2,' I said.
'O_o....'
'What? It's what she told me!'
'OMG!!' Dani screamed.
Suddenly I saw a wonderful sight. MOORDRYD AND KITT KISSING!!!!! (I'm a bigger M/K fan than a Moordryd fangirl)
'When's the wedding?' I squealed happily.
'??!!!!' Moordryd exclaimed as he realized we were watching.
'I KEEL YOU!!!!' Artha snarled at Moordryd.
'No Artha! NO!!! YOU HAVE ME!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!' Dani screamed.
AND THEN A MASSIVE ANGEL TYPE THING CAME AND ENDED THIS CRUDE AND HORRIFIC ATTEMPT AT AN AMUSING STORY!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Luv Dani and Ash. XXOO

"...CAME AND ENDED THIS CRUDE AND HORRIFIC ATTEMPT AT AN AMUSING STORY!!!!!!!"

Well... you got part of it right. The Amusing Story part: I LIKE! (XD) :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie:

I like it :) Merry Christmas :lol:

*laughing so hard can hardly breathe* :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

And merry Christmas to y'all! :)