Since LightningFlash has transferred the Crack topic and its dragon-specialised relation to this forum, I thought I'd start this thread. The Crack topics deal with unusual pairings, and Sai has started a request thread, but there should be something more general available, especially for exchanges and challenges.

I can edit relevant request information into this top post, so that nobody has to read through the entire thread. :)

The idea behind an exchange is that someone might be willing to write a fanfic in return for a piece of fanart or a fanfic written in return, or something else, and I think this might be a good idea to give others incentive to fulfil requests.

Challenges are of course deliberately tough fic suggestions, though they might not always qualify as crack, like not all requests would belong in the crack topics. Competitions could also be promoted or suggested or refined here.

Happy reading and writing to all. :cookie:

--

Thread Index:

(Links go to individual posts on this thread unless otherwise stated; fics are also all noted in the fic index.)

Ridiculously detailed explanation of thread concepts

Liliwen announces a (now-ended) competition

Fic: Sarah Frost's A New Booster, an entry to Lilwen's competition

Fic: Da Suga Queen's entry to Liliwen's competition

Fic: Crystal Wildfyr's Black Crows, an entry to Liliwen's competition

Da Suga Queen announces a (now-taken) exchange

Fic: Da Suga Queen's fic for Crystal Wildfyr

Empyrean-Dragon announces a competition

Fic: DemonicFury's entry to Empyrean-Dragon's competition

DemonicFury announces a competition

Fic: Sarah Frost's First Friends, an entry to Empyrean-Dragon's competition

Fic (new topic): Sarah Frost's Future Waiting, an entry to DemonicFury's competition

this seems like a good idea, I'm going to wait to see how it works before I do anything with it.

i am confused.

exchange, noun, 1: an act of giving one thing and receiving another (esp. of the same type or value) in return, ex. She exchanged her hat for a pair of socks.

challenge, noun, 1: a call to take part in a contest or competition, ex. I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

request, noun, 1: an act of asking politely or formally for something, ex. She requested that he wash the socks first.

competition, noun, 2: an event or contest in which people strive to win something, ex. If you enter the competition you may win a prize.

All definitions courtesy Oxford American dictionary as available on Macintosh v. 10.4.10, slightly modified.

In other words?

Exchange. Someone writes you a fanfic. You write them something, draw them something, or do another favour for them in return.

Challenge. Someone suggests "Armeggaddon/Akarai with a cherry on top and introducing an antagonist more powerful than Armeggy at the same time would be tricky." You write it to prove your skills.

Request. Someone says "I would love anyone who wrote me Kitt/older!Lance in a reference to Arthurian legend." You write it because you want to make them happy.

Competition. Someone says "I'm running a competition for Dragon Booster Academy stories." You write an Academy story. Someone judges if yours is the best.

Are you less confused?

Thats a really good idea. I see it being done on fanfic.net but its too much bother there because nobody replies until about 6 years later. I can see this working well here.

Well, feel free to kick it off by sticking in a challenge of your own! :)

Hmm...I'm running a competition for whoever can write the best DB fic following these rules...It must:

1.) You must include only the characters, Sentrus, Word, a crow-drag and a character of your choice

2.) Someone in the fic must say, "Oh look, is that what I think it is? Wait...no it isn't..." OR "Did I do that?" (Think Steve Urkel) :D

3.) You must add in a pairing somewhere, any type at all

4.) Must have something that resembles a plot

5.) Be done by August the 1st

The winner will be whosoever has the best plot, best use of the above stated phrases you must use, and general writing abilities. It can be any length you wish. Good luck in forming a good fic out of that! Winner will receive...my congratulations. :)

Get someone to donate art prizes then

Something like this then? Nayade has agreed to make small banners for the first, second and third place winners to put in their sig. Now if you place, you can show it off and flaunt your egos. :D

Is anyone even interested in entering?

I was working on this before you offered prizes. :P

Title: A New Booster
Summary: When Sentrus comes to Word’s Citadel to discuss an Academy problem, she watches him demonstrate a legend instead. Riffs off the ending of When Darkness Falls. A quick one-shot dashed off in response to this challenge; not a serious fic in the least. Also, contains an ungendered character and a wee hint of slash, if either of those appeal to you.
Rating: PG
Mary-Sue: You decide!
Word Count: 1300
Concrit: Encouraged
Disclaimer: Not mine.

--

“Mr Paynn, I’m here to discuss a serious disciplinary issue regarding your son’s conduct with young Mister Penn…”

“Of course. Please come in.”

His robe swept behind him as they moved into the study.

“As you may know, Connor Penn’s stables recently burned down a second time, and so although a parental conference would be normal under the circumstances, you are…”

“The only available. Indeed. As a matter of fact, I have another issue entirely for you to discuss.”

He turned suddenly to her, a deaths-head grin spread across his face. “Let us go.”

She reached out to stop him, but he had already pressed a button behind him; Sentrus looked up in shock as the walls sped away above them.

“What is happening?” she asked as they hurtled down, silver patterns shimmering on the rapidly-flashing walls as the light changed to a colder shade, from a source she could not quite place.

“I have news that the Academy must know, the more so since my worthless son has evidently disgraced himself,” Word responded calmly.

“Well, his and Mister Penn’s infractions were certainly significant, and I do expect you will…”

“Behold.” Word gestured expansively above them; the lift jerked quickly to the right, and the ceiling above them seemed to melt away, leaving them bathed in icy purple light as they slid rapidly towards what seemed to be the centre of a vast dome.

Sentrus blinked. The light above them looked like veins glowing, deep indigo-violet; like…wings.

“You may have realized that even the Academy has no control over the air,” Word said. “Oh—” he forestalled her interruption—“we use our Aero gear and thruster packs, we glide, we build higher and higher, we predict the weather and beam vidd-communication through it. But the skies are not our own.”

Sentrus nodded reluctantly. “Perhaps,” she said. “But really—” We are satisfied, she would have said, but he cut her off again.

“As you know, the ancients allowed themselves no such limitations.”

There were legends, she knew very well, the power of the air, great battles on the wind with winged ones, the child-prince of the sky, ally to the great Dragon Booster. However, they certainly had no need for such things in the modern era.

“There was the legend—” Word Paynn said, echoing her thoughts—“and now xe has returned.”

“The Baby Crow-Drag Booster,” he added, extending an arm; and the vast wings above them seemed to fold upwards, and the small, young crow-drag alighted to its perch, its foils of mag-energy gathered to itself.

Sentrus gasped. “What—is—”

“Kwaa! Pleased—to—meet—you!” the thing said happily, bobbing its head.

“Magna Draconis, what have you done?” she said breathlessly, staring.

“One of my son’s minions brought hir to me barely a drag-cycle ago,” Word said breezily. “Xe had been exposed to both gold and black energies; I further irradiated hir with black energy and locked her up with dictionary recordings, to grant hir sapience and speech, and xe has become the Baby Crow-Drag of Legend, as told of in the ancient stories.”

“You stopped hir growth cycle,” Sentrus said, making the deduction. Crow-drags, when born, were asexual, although their growth was fast, and in a drag-cycle xe should certainly have commenced puberty. “But this is quite ludicrous. Crow-drags were never mentioned in the legends—”

“Not specifically,” Word remarked. “But versions of the tale give a prince of the air, others a princess, and the crow-drag is the dominant beast of the skies...”

“Kwaa,” the crow-drag agreed.

Sentrus thought back, to the most tattered and old of books on the library stacks, ancient scraps of parchment in languages even she barely understood, badly misspelled and long-dirtied. The heiress of the Queen of Air and Darkness… “I suppose,” she said reluctantly.

“Mother believes it, kwaa!” the crow-drag said affectionately, pecking Word lightly on the cheek.

Sentrus raised an eyebrow.

“Xe imprinted,” Word said lightly. “I’ve adopted hir as my replacement heir.”

Sentrus sighed. “Anyway, Mr Paynn, regarding your son’s conduct…” She raised her universal vidscreen controller, and hit the display button; Word’s screens lit up with the film of the offence. “Look.”

Word turned to look at it. “Is that what I think it is? Wait...no, it isn't the legendary Two-Backed Beast of the Purple Empire..."

“Indeed not,” Sentrus said.

“Oh well. I’ve already begun to disown him,” Word said, glancing contemptuously at Moordryd Paynn’s activities with Artha Penn, in full view of the Academy main arena thanks to the glass floor and windows the participants had presumably failed to notice. “Although I hadn’t suspected he was quite so flexible.”

Sentrus shrugged. “Ah, in my youth I could get my ankles even further behind—that is to say, I would never have considered such an action in public.”

“He is disowned—and I’m sure my old friend Connor would do the same to his misbegotten stablebrat, were he not so unfortunately presumed dead a seond time.” Word said, pushing a button to cause the image to majestically vanish in a shower of sparks.

"My understanding is that your son and Mister Penn were initially engaged in a more martial form of contest, when it devolved to fisticuffs and subsequently…”

“That is not why I had you here today,” Word said with a scowl. “You are to send me your best students, bring them to me—and the Baby Crow-Drag Booster will at last choose hir rider! Whom I shall outfit with suitable wraith-type armour,” he added. “Purely for safety reasons, you understand.”

“Take over the world for Mother, kwaa!” the crow-drag said happily, and started to unfurl the vast wings made of mag-energy that had earlier appeared above them.

Sentrus took in her second deep gasp of the day. “Be careful! That—”

“Hir full wing-span is nearly two full dragmiles in length,” Word gloated. “Made from pure mag-energy, able to stand the weight of more than three draco-tons…”

The wings expanded, huge glowing things with the veins brilliant as gems, incongruously gigantic for the young crow-drag.

“Kwaa—whee!”

It leaped aloft.

“Show Mummy what you can do! Oo’s a good wickle dear baby crow-drag booster, Mummy’s fav’rit—”

Sentrus stared incredulously.

“That is to say, observe the marvelous powers of my Baby Crow-Drag Booster…”

“Watch out!” Sentrus screamed, and one of the wings tore into the Citadel’s walls, sending a rain of debris cascading down upon them.

“Look at me, Mummy! Kwaaaaaa!”

Sentrus flung herself away from a descending girder, ending up trapped with Word beneath a pile of other debris.

“Yes! You’re very powerful! Now remember what we discussed about indoor and outdoor…”

“Mr Paynn, sir?”

A green-haired girl’s head appeared above them, looking down in concern.

“Only you said to come and give you the latest intelligence report, and I heard the noise and I—”

“Rider, kwaa!”

A vast beak metamorphosed from the crow-drag’s mag-form, and took up the girl—Sentrus vaguely recognized her as a Dragon Eye from the racetracks, competent but far from extraordinary—to convey her to its back, riding in the centre of its expanded wingspan.

“No! I intended you to choose an Academy racer, not a street brat from the Dragon Eyes!”

(“No offence intended, Swayy. You’re an extremely talented intelligence officer.”)

(“None taken, sir. Can you please get me down from here?”)

“Have chosen, kwaa!”

The crow-drag’s yellow eyes rolled up; Swayy flung her head back and screamed. Sentrus saw black and purple energy spooling from her, with trace turquoise and red flowing to colour the wing-spars. Sapphire-glowing eyes rolled back to stare at the helpless watchers on the ground, and the crow-drag laughed.

“Will conquer the universe now, Mother! Look at me! Kwaa!”

They heard it fly away, the Citadel continuing to fall around their ears.

“Do you really think it’ll take over the world for you, Mr Paynn?” Sentrus asked.

“I can’t see anything to stop hir,” Word replied. “The Baby Crow-Drag Booster—shall triumph!"

(“Which only goes to show,” he mused, “that when life gives you comedic endings to failed evil plans, train a baby crow-drag to conquer the universe.”)

--

A/N: I slightly edited the line requirement, and hopefully only Sentrus, Word and Swayy on-screen fulfilled the requirements for Sentrus, Word and a character of choice. The pairing was of course intended to be Artha/Moordryd—“making the two-backed beast” is old slang, just in case you hadn’t heard that one. Which I’m sure you have, but I like author’s notes. Oh, and begging for feedback. :P

I must say, I was never expecting the crow-drag to be used like that! :D It was drac how you used the same crow-drag from When Darkness Falls. And Word's conversations with his Baby Crow-Drag Booster were hilarious. Incredibly entertaining to read. :)

And if anyone else finishes their entry, post or link to it here. A winner will be decided later via poll.

I figured I'd extend the deadline to...undecided yet. I want to see if anyone else will actually enter. If you're thinking about entering or if you're working on it post here please and let me know. And I've seen the WiPs by Nayade, they're drac! Just to let you all know. ;)

Same here, I like it a lot. And I could not figure that "making the two-backed beast" was a slang, but with your tip and after shearch it on "urban dictionary" it was much more clear ^^.

Thanks! :) And thanks for making art for Liliwen, too, I'm sure it's absolutely gorgeous since you're creating it.

Okay, I'll have a go! Please extend the deadline (I know, I'm so late *ashamed* :unsure: )

Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Booster.
Concrit: Encouraged

Word shifted uncomfortably, his eyes flickering from the crow-drag his citadel. He was so close to freedom, but this crow-drag was relentless, doggedly pursuing him through the city until he though he would go mad.
The worst part of the chase was not knowing whether the crow-drag just wanted to steal his hamburger, or whether it just felt like dropping a “bomb” on him.
‘This the absolute last time I get Dracdonalds for tea,’ he growled. Beneath him, Abandonn tossed his head in panic. Word could almost hear him screaming “Nooooooo!”
‘That’s right. No more Dracdonalds,’ he grinned, then frowned again. ‘Well, not as long as I get tailed by these hungry pests.’
The crow-drag flapped lazily above him, its keen eyes trained on his chips and burger.
‘Cawwww...’ It cawed. If it had a tongue it would have licked its beak. Instead, it snapped its beak shut ominously, making loud sounds in the deserted drag-way.
‘Bothersome pest. Fly away!’ Word shouted. ‘This is my dinner!’
‘CAW!!!!’
‘Why, hello Word. Who are you talking to?’
Startled, Word wheeled around in his saddle and glanced down, where Sentrus was standing.
‘OH, er, Sentrus, I was just talking to… erm that crow-drag…’ he pointed up at the sky. The crow-drag was nowhere to be seen.
‘I see…’ Sentrus’ eyebrow flew up and Word could tell she was debating his sanity. ‘What are you doing out so late?’
‘Nine o’clock is not late,’ Word said. ‘And I am merely coming from Draccas…’ he stopped. Draccas.
I sound like some incompetent teenager, he thought angrily.
‘It’s our cook’s night off, you see, and Cain is too busy to hone in his cooking skills tonight, so…’ he shrugged, one eye searching the sky for the crow-drag.
‘Hmmm, yes. I for one do not care much for take away, although it appears to be the latest fashion with these pimply, disrespectful teenagers.’
‘Don’t forget incompetent,’ Word added, still looking skyward.
‘Oh look, is that what I think it is? Wait...no it isn't...’ Sentrus said, but Word was already hugging his meal to his chest, bent over protectively, head darting around crazily.
Sentrus stared at Word. ‘Um… I thought it was an advertisement for the new StarCom gear, but it was just… er…’
‘OW!!!’ Word yelled as the hot oil burnt his hand. ‘INCOMPETENCE!!!!!!!’
He sucked his hand gingerly and Sentrus hurriedly began to walk away.
‘Well, uh, it was nice seeing you Word… Tell your son good luck at the Academy.’ She said. With one last, puzzled look at Word, she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight.
Word hissed. ‘You will pay for making me look like a fool in front of her!’
‘Caw!’ the crow-drag squawked, reappearing in front of its victim.
There was a face-off between them, then Word let out an insane war cry and charged at the bird, who wheeled upwards and swooped down again, snagging a chip as it went by.
‘NO!!!’ Word screamed, swiping at the bird and missing by mere centimetres. The crow-drag flew to a building and devoured its prize, flapping its wings triumphantly down at Word who bellowed with rage.
Then it came again.
Clipping it’s wings, it swooped at the chips again, and Abandonn twisted his neck and snapped at the bird, unseating Word and the Big Drac meal.
‘ARG!!!’ Word yelled, falling to earth with a loud THUMP, the Big Drac landing some feet away from him.
‘Ow…’
The crow-drag landed and wolfed down the chips as fast as it could. Abandonn growled and lowered his head down to the crow-drag who spread its wings protectively. Suddenly, Abandonn stopped growling, and looked at the crow-drag, as if puzzled. The crow-drag half folded it’s wings and cocked its head.
And very suddenly, right before Word’s eyes, the scene from the Lady and the Tramp was being played before him with chips instead of spaghetti.
Word groaned and closed his eyes. ‘I hate crow-drags…’

Yay! Done! It is pretty short, and it’s got nothing on Sarah’s, but I participated so w00t!

Yay, someone else participated! :) Anybody can still enter, the deadline is undertermined. Maybe another month or so. The pairing between Abandonn and the crow-drag was rather cute. :D I like how Word went to Dracdonalds. Very funny! ^_^ :cookie:

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!
Exactly how long will this comp be open for? I really want to see what Nayade's art, it sounds awesome! :D

I agree, Abandonn/crow-drag would look really cute. :)

I guess it'll stay open until September 5th. And that's the final date. Then there'll be a poll. :)

I'm gonna try one out. It'll be here soon...

Yay, that makes three competitors! ^_^ Good luck with the fic!

Thanks Sarah, yours was cool too. Artha and Moordryd up to NEFARIOUS ACTIVITIES together... :plot: :D

I hope you get your entry in soon, September 5th is coming in a few days or so. Right now, it seems as though the poll will only decide who gets first and second place. So hurry! :)

I am, don't worry. It'll come tomorrow.
And here it is:

Rating: pg
Warnings: Artha getting bashed, bridges exploding
Disclaimer: None of it is mine, and Is in no way gaining me any money.
Concrit: Encouraged
[b]Mary-Sue:[b] no, unless Artha, word or a crow-drag are…


Black Crows

“Give me my dragon!” Artha didn’t think that would work, but he tried anyway.
“Never!” Word growled.
“You wanna fight? Let’s go!” Artha yelled and activated his mag-staff. As the Dragon Booster, this would be easy, and with Beau, even easier, but alone…

Word extended his mag-staff too and swung it to meet Artha’s.

Overhead, a crow-drag spotted them, and dove to join the fray.

“Yeeoooch!” Word yipped as the crow-drag poked him in the back.

Taking advantage of this, Artha jumped at Word, and got hit in the stomach by the crow-drag’s wing. “Oooff!” Artha hit a wall.

The crow-drag cackled.

“That’s it!” Word yelled.

“Yeah…” Artha wheezed and slowly got up.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you!” Word said.

The crow-drag flapped off, and Word chased it.

“Hnnnnh…” Artha inhaled, got up, and ran after Word.

On a narrow bridge, the crow-drag stopped and turned around. Word threw a red fire grenade at it. The crow-drag dodged, the grenade hit the bridge, beeped twice, and the bridge exploded, just as Artha ran onto it.

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!” Artha fell, and set off his A.R.E.S. pack, safely gliding to another bridge.

“Did I do that?” Word asked.

“Mister Paynn?”

Word twisted around and spotted Sentrus.

“Destroying bridges is not the way to fame, and endangering the lives of Mr. Penn…” She kept talking, but she was drowned out by the crow-drag’s crawing.

“AHHH! SHUT UP ALREADY!”

“Mr. Paynn?!?!” Sentrus was shocked at Word’s interruption. “I am a respected—.”

Word jumped down to the lower bridge Artha was on.
“Looser.” Sentrus grumbled, dignity lost.

Down on the second bridge, Artha and Word continued fighting.

“Give—Beau—Back!” Artha said in rhythm with the mag-staff strikes.

“Beau? As in the Dragon of Legend?”

“Err… no?” Artha let his guard down and got struck in the stomach, again. “Phh…” Artha wheezed.

Word walked up, and slammed Artha on his helmet, knocking him out completely.

“That… leaves… you… and… me…” Word panted.

The Crow-drag cackled as if saying ‘You’ll never get me.’

Word nearly collapsed; instead he doubled over in exhaustion. The Crow-drag peeped and settled on Word’s shoulder.

“You know, you are kinda cute…” Word rubbed the Crow-drag’s head.

The Crow-drag trilled and pushed its beak against Word’s neck.

Artha blearily opened his eyes and saw Word and the Crow-Drag walking away, then drifted back into unconsciousness.

Like it?

Haha, good stuff! :D
Take that Sentrus! :P

and take that Artha penn!!! WOOT!!! :D :faint:

Well, now for the exchanges bit, I'll write someone a fic if they draw me a pic of Aurora and Celeste, my two black dragons. You can request a marriage to Artha Penn, the death of Parmon Sean, the madness of Word Paynn, anything you want! Just tell me, and I'll post a description of Aurora & Celeste for you.
Any takers? :)

I'll do it. And the fan fic: Beat up Artha Penn in all ways possible. Take Beau away, throw him into the street, make his friends and allies enemies. What ever pops into your head. I'll make your dragons. ;) Thanks!

Can I accept the challenge too? I luv these sorta things!

Okay, cool!! And sure, you can both do it. It'll be interesting to see how the two images compare. Okay: here's the description:
Aurora and Celeste are both psi-class dragons who look a lot like Decepshun, only smaller since they are fourteen, but their heads aren't as box shaped; they're more long like Beau's. (without the chin though) They're sisters, but Celeste is a lot stronger (and more evil) whereas Aurora has a better temperament. Their build is about the same, but Celeste is more muscular. Their bodies are a light shade of black with midnight blue patterns on them. Celeste's blue is arranged in a swirly way, and her mouth is mostly blue too. Aurora has a zig-zag blue pattern on her tail has two little spikes on them. The bottom of their legs are a dark black and they have blue claws and eyes.
I hope that's enough information. It's just hard to explain what their heads look like, but you'll figure it out. I'll start writing Crystal's story, but DF, you'll have to post what you want soon because I'm going on holidays in three days!!! :)

I'll try as fast as I can! I have a lot of school stuff coming up in a few days. (yearbook, UN, Speech/debate)

I do debating as well! It's awesome, I love it. Grinding someone's arguement to dust... that is fun!
But, um, what I meant was what sort of story you wanted me to write in exchange for the picture. I just finished Crystal's.

Rating: PG
Warnings:Probably doesn't make any sense, and is mainly just Artha bashing. Also nudity. Nothing graphic I swear!!!!
Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it? I don't own Dragon Booster.
Concrit: Encouraged.
A/N: This might not be very good, Crystal, so if you'd like me to write another instead I will, because, frankly, I'm not 100% happy with it, so if you don't like it, tell me and I'll rewrite a better one, mmkay?

‘Artha!!!’
Parm rushed into the room looking stricken. Artha’s inner hero immediately clicked into action as he recognised that there was a damsel in distress.
‘What is it Parm?’ Artha asked, standing up commandingly.
Parm wailed and buried his face in his hands. ‘It’s Fluffy!!’ he cried. ‘She got stuck up a tree again!!’
Artha frowned. ‘We have TREES in Dragon City?’
‘Just one!’ Parm sobbed. ‘And she climbed up it!!!’
He howled again and flapped his hands in distress. ‘Fear not Parm. The Dragon Booster is on it.’
He quickly finished his Draconee Yum bar and drew himself up. Parm looked at him side on for the first time.
‘Artha…’ Parm stared at his friend’s rapidly expanding stomach. ‘H-how many candy bars did you just eat?’
Artha slapped Parm hard. ‘Civilian!!! Calm down!! You’re talking CRAZY!!! Just shut up and let me do my job!!!’
Parm’s eyes widened with shock. ‘He slapped me!’ he squealed. ‘I was crying and he SLAPPED me!’
Artha waddled over to Beau and ripped the amulet out of its holder. ‘RELEASE THE DRAG- ARRRG, HEARTBURN!!!!!!!’
Artha clutched his chest in pain as the gold armour enveloped his body.
‘Sla- ppp… he slap… I don’t- HE SLAPPED…’ Parm gabbered frantically, still unable to comprehend what had happened. Artha now stood in full armour and was gasping. ‘Whooo… first diarrhoea, now heartburn. What’s next, obesity?’
Artha cackled at his own joke, then paused and pressed a hand to his stomach. ‘Wow, was this Dragon Booster suit always this tight?’
Artha coughed and sucked in his stomach. ‘Okay, now I know how a corset feels…’
Trying to breathe as little as possible, he went over to Beau who knelt to allow his rider access. Artha dragged himself onto the saddle and sat up awkwardly.
‘Lead the way Parm!’ he wheezed. Parm, still in a state of shock, pointed outside where a lone tree stood near a small market that was, thankfully, deserted since it was nighttime. Beau galloped heroically over to it, taking about three seconds and then magged Artha ferociously up to a mewling cat.
‘Beau!!! BEAU!!! WATCH THE FLIPPIN’ BRANCHES!!!’ Artha screamed. Not a good move considering he couldn’t breathe properly; he coughed and gasped and managed to drag a long breath. The blue and gold “indestructible” armour buckled slightly from the enormous pressure it was under and groaned. Artha clawed at it and took another deep breath.
…Then smashed into a particularly large branch just above his head.
‘Look Mummy, it’s the Dragon Booster!’ A little boy cried excitedly.
‘BEAU!!!! WHAT THE (expletive deleted) DID I TELL YOU?? (EXPLETIVE DELETED) DON’T MAG ME INTO THE (EXPLETIVE DELETED) BRANCHES YA (EXPLETIVE DELETED) DRAGON!!!! JUST NO!!!! (EXPLETIVE DELETED) NO!!!!!!!’ Artha roared down at his dragon who glared at him, affronted.
The little boy’s mother looked like she was going to have a coronary bypass. ‘Come away, Hamysh. We’re going to take that “hero” to court and sue the poo out of him!’
She stalked away, and little Hamysh trotted along behind her. ‘But MUMMY, I don’t want (EXPLETIVE DELETED) poo, I want cookies!!!’
Before his mother could yell at him, Cain appeared out of nowhere in an apron, holding a tray of biscuits.
‘Did someone say COOKIES???’ he asked proudly.
‘YAY!!! COOKIES!!!’ Hamysh screamed.
‘Oookay, that was just the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen,’ Artha muttered. He pulled in his chest and stretched out his hands to the kitten.
‘Aw, aren’t you cute? Why didn’t Parm just rescue you himself?’ he grinned and stretched out for the little cat. ‘That’s it, come to Artha…’
‘MEROWR!!!!! ROWR, FFFFFT!!!!!’
‘Ark!!!’ Artha yelled. He fell backwards, the kitten firmly latched onto his chin. ‘Gerrroff!!!!’ he squealed, his voice muffled.
‘MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!’ Fluffy roared.
Beau magged his rider down and “accidentally” dropped him the last few feet.
Parm rushed out, finally overcoming his seizure. ‘FLUFFY!!!’ he squealed.
‘I saved your cat,’ Artha groaned. Parm reached out and ripped Fluffy from his friend’s face.
‘Fluffums!!’ he cooed.
‘Another job well done,’ Artha moaned. ‘But not without its usual casualties.’
He winced as he touched his shredded face. ‘I need comfort food.’
‘ARTHA!!’
‘Y’what?’ Artha yelped. Kitt stormed over to him, looking like she wanted to murder something. Parm noticed this too, and cringed, shielding little Fluffy from Kitt’s inevitable wrath.
‘DID YOU EAT ALL MY DRACONEE YUM BARS???’ she screamed.
‘Errrr…. Noooooooooooooooooo…….’ Artha said evasively. He burped suddenly and Kitt sniffed him.
‘OH, THAT IS FOUL!!!! Artha, haven’t you ever heard of a tic-tac?’ Kitt gagged, covering her nose.
‘A what?’
‘A tic-tac. It’s like a little… oh never mind.’ She grabbed the amulet and pulled it out of its gauntlet.
‘Ohhhhh, that is relief…’ Artha grinned as his stomach swelled happily. Kitt fished around in his pockets and pulled out a handful of wrappers.
‘You’ll never guess what I just found. A pile of Draconee Yum bar wrappers.’
‘Wrong.’
‘What?’
‘It’s a pile of wet Draconee Yum bar wrappers.’
Kitt stared at the wrappers in her hand. ‘EEWWWW!!!’ she cried. She dropped the wrappers and frantically scrubbed her hand on her racing jacket.
‘Hey! No littering!’ Artha snapped. Kitt looked like she was going to thump him but decided against it.
‘Now I have to get changed for my date with Moordryd!’ she growled.
‘Your what with a what-what?’ Artha asked.
‘My date with Moordryd,’ Kitt said slowly.
‘WHAT???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!’
‘Hey Baby!!’ Moordryd grinned.
‘Moordie!!’ Kitt cooed.
‘MOORDIE???’ Artha squawked.
‘Hey! No-one but my snookie-pie calls me Moordie!!!’ Moordryd yelled. Kitt touched his arm lightly.
‘Just forget him. We’ll get him tomorrow, okay?’ she said.
‘Promise?’ he smirked.
‘Promise.’
They started French-kissing right there. Artha screamed and covered his eyes.
‘Artha… I think I’m finding myself attracted to you…’ Parm said, gazing at the cowering figure.
Wild panic shot through him. ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!’
‘I think I’m in love with Sentrus,’ Lance said.
‘WHAT???’
‘I think baldness is hereditary,’ Connor said.
‘NO!’
‘I think I’ll turn evil again for absolutely no reason!’ Wulph declared.
‘Wha-?’
‘I think I’ll give Artha an outrageous hairstyle like my own!’ Pyrrah grinned.
‘First bald now THAT???’
‘I think I’ll wear an outfit that shows off even more of my belly button!’ Vociferous shouted.
‘NOO!!!’
‘I think I’ll save myself for once,’ Chute decided.
‘But that’s my job-‘
‘I think I’ll tell everyone about my inconveniently placed rash!!’ Phistus stated.
‘Magna Draconis, NO-
‘I think I’ll steal Beau using a TOTALLY UN-FOILABLE EVIL PLAN!!’ Word cackled.
‘Grrr reor, RARR!!!!’ Beau said, standing pointedly next to Moordryd and Word.
I can’t believe this is happening to me!!!’ Artha cried.
‘I can’t believe this dress matches my mascara,’ Khatah said.
‘…………………………………………………………………………..’
‘What?’ Khatah demanded.
Everyone glanced at each other and slowly slunk away, whistling and trying not to stare at him. Artha sobbed and buried his head in his hands. Connor patted him on the shoulder.
‘Aw, come on son, it’s not that bad. I mean, I’d love to comfort you but I can’t. My stories are on at the moment, so you’ll just have t- OH GEEZE, THEY STARTED TEN MINUTES AGO!!!!!’
Connor sprinted away and Artha was left to stare at Khatah as he pirouetted and strutted around in his brand new dress. He shuddered, sure he was going to experience nightmares when someone tapped him on the shoulder.
‘Excuse me, I’m mugging you. Would you kindly give me all your money?’
‘I don’t have any money.’
‘What?!’ The bandit said. ‘… well, give me your clothes then. They might be worth something.’
A few minutes later, Artha was left standing stark naked on the road while a laughing bandit ran away with his clothing. He sighed.
‘Well, at least I’ve got my dignity.’
‘You’re fat and you smell like Grandma!!!’ Hamysh bellowed at him from a safe distance.
‘Oh yeah??? WELL YOU TASTE LIKE MY GRANDPA!!!’ Artha screamed back.
‘I’m gonna get my Mummy to get you!!!’ he yelled.
‘Pffft. Whatever kid.’

ARTHA PENN Died on the 26th of September, 2007.
CAUSE OF DEATH: Some angry mother beat him up.
HE WILL NOT BE MISSED.

Yeah, like I said, it's not that great, but... yeah. And Hamysh means nothing, don't worry about it. It's just a rando character I made up.

0.=.0 randomness yay lol ^_^

:faint: randomness at its best!

I want to hold a contest of whoever writes the best DB fic following these rules... :)

Rules
In the fic, you must have...

1. The following as major characters: Phistus, Wulph, Chute, Stewardd, and Marianis in the story.

2. Little kids and baby dragons (whatever number of them you want).

3. Yellow-bellied newts, slugs and/or tracking dragons (whatever number of them you want).

4. At least one pairing of any of the major characters and have a kissing part of said pairing. Any kind of pairing is allowed.

5. The major characters performing a certain task, job, game, ect. May it be at least appropriate, please.

6. Any kind of plot you wish. :)

Deadline is October 14th

Contest Prizes
The winner of the contest will recieve a pic by me of anything he/she wants as long as it's appropriate.

O.k. Empyrean-Dragon, I'll do it. But um, what counts as appropiate for #5?

Thank you, DemonicFury! For rule #5, you must have the characters do a certain activity all together. For example, they may be at the arcade playing video games; babysitting kids at the day-care center; having a lemonade stand or a food fight at the fair...anything, anytime and anywhere as long as it's appropriate for all readers. :)

O.k. I can do that. I'll have it done in time.
EDIT: Here:
Title: Five Crew Leaders, a Tracking Dragon, and a Virus: A Parody
Co-authors and/or betas: Only me.
Genre/s: Um... Parody/Romance
Summary: Its a parody/romance about five crew members who have to get an anti-virus or else Sentrus will make them babysit the zombified children and baby dragons.
Main character/s: Phistus, Marianis, Wulph, Stewardd, and Chute
Pairings: Marianis/Wulph
Rating: Aside from the kiss scene, it should be suitable for all ages.
Warnings: There's a kiss scence.
Word Count: 1,346
No. of Chapters: 5
Complete/WiP: Complete.
Concrit: Encouraged (yes please)
Mary-Sue: No
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: My first parody.
Chapter One
“Come on, Fist Head! We have to keep moving!” Phistus jolted up from his slumped position and glared at Chute. Chute just smiled back at him. Stewardd directed Gunny to move next to Marianis and her dragon, Poseidos.
“Marianis, why are we doing this again?” Marianis looked at him.
“Because, Little Mouse, we have to go get the anti-virus from the hospital before the virus spreads.”
“Remind me what the virus does.”
“It only infects young children and dragons. It makes them act like zombies when they’re actually not.”
“But-”
Suddenly, they heard a sickening crunching sound. Marianis looked down and saw that they were walking on yellow-bellied newts and drago-slugs.
“What the-” Suddenly, a tracking dragon flew at them. They ducked and it hit Phistus in the head. Chute burst out laughing. Phistus groaned.
“It’s not funny!”
“Yes it is!” Marianis and Stewardd looked at each other.
“We need someone that knows how to lead. Someone handsome, strong, and, and, we need Wulph!”
“Agree- Wait. What?”
“Stay here and keep Chute from jumping off the track. Got it, Little Mouse?”
“Please stop calling me that.” Marianis raced Poseidos off and disappeared into the shadows of Down City. Stewardd looked around and whimpered. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”
Chapter Two
After two hours of running, Poseidos and Marianis arrived at the Army of the Dragon’s compound. She magged off Poseidos and walked up to the door, but Wulph answered before she could knock. “Marianis, what are you doing here?”
“I need your help. Phistus, Chute, Stewardd, and myself have been chosen to get an antivirus from the hospital before the virus takes over the world. And if we fail, Sentrus will make us take over the Daycare! And Chute won’t listen to us and Phistus won’t wake up and the little mouse guy looks too stupid to live!” Wulph smiled.
“I’ll do it, if you give me a kiss.” Marianis smiled and kissed him. After a few minutes, she broke it and ran back to her dragon.
“Now come on. We’ve got to go.” Wulph snapped his fingers and Hyve ran up to him, ready to go.
“Fine but, let’s make it interesting. We’ll race there. If I win you kiss me again.”
“And if I win you’ll kiss me.” Wulph smiled again.
“Fine. Ready. Set. Go!” Wulph raced Hyve away from Marianis and Poseidos.
“Hey! You cheater!” She raced after him, unaware that she was being watched.
Chapter Three
“Come one, Hyve! Move it! Move it! Move it!” Hyve nodded and stepped it up to top speed. Wulph looked back. Marianis was nowhere in sight. He was going to win. He would make it to Chute and Phistus before she did. Wulph gasped. It was then he realized that he hadn’t asked where Chute and Phistus were. He stopped Hyve and looked around.
“Boo!”
“Gyaahhh!!!” Wulph yelled and fell off of his dragon. Hyve somehow jumped on top of a nearby street lamp. Marianis looked up at him.
“Wow, and I thought Cain was a scaredy-dragon.” Wulph growled.
THUD!!!
They turned and saw that Hyve had fallen from the streetlight and hit the ground. Hard. Hyve stood and let Wulph mount him. Marianis laughed. “Shut up!”
“Come on, Wulphy-boy. We need to get back to the others.” Marianis raced off, leaving Wulph to try and catch up to her. They rounded a few corners and slammed into Brutaris. They struggled to focus their vision.
“Chute, Phistus, where’s Stewardd?” They looked at Marianis.
“Um… The newts came and carried him off.” Wulph groaned.
“You’re kidding. Right?”
“Uh no, we’re not. Oh and, Wulph, you got something on your mouth.” Marianis handed him a mirror and Wulph realized that some of Marianis’ lipstick had rubbed off on him. He turned and frantically tried to get it off. Marianis turned to Chute and Phistus.
“Come on. Let’s go before he gets it off.” They nodded and quietly walked away.
Wulph managed to get it off after twenty minutes, only to realize the others had left him. “I don’t believe this! I agreed to help her and what does she do? She leaves me! Well, I’ll get her back! Don’t you worry about that.” He pulled out a purple pod and pressed a button, revealing a tracking dragon. It yawned and flew off towards the direction the others had run off to.
Meanwhile, Chute gazed through a pair of binoculars at him. “Heh. You were right. He is funny when he’s angry.”
“Yeah, but we need to go get that anti-virus before it infects children everywhere and Sentrus makes us take over the Daycare.”
“Right!” Chute, Phistus, and Marianis raced their dragons towards the hospital, unaware they were being watched.
Chapter Four
As he neared the hospital, Wulph realized he was being followed. He turned and saw Stewardd on Gunny. “Stewardd, come on. I need help getting the anti-virus.” Stewardd and Gunny just stood there. “Stewardd?” Gunny ran at him and started snapping at Hyve. Wulph magged into the air and fought with Stewardd. “Why are you infected?”
“Because, I lied to you all. Gunny and I are only seven years old!”
“I knew it!” Wulph turned towards Chute, and Stewardd took the opportunity to hit him in the back, sending him crashing to the ground. Marianis gasped.
“Wulph!” She raced Poseidos at Gunny and magged off right before she hit. Marianis landed just as baby dragons and young children marched out of the shadows.
Chute raced Turbulence into the dragons and got ready to fight the children. Phistus and Brutaris just stood there and fell asleep, as the children crawled all over them. Chute backed up as the children moved closer.
“What are you waiting for? Attack!” yelled Wulph. Chute looked at him.
“But, they’re just children.”
“So?” Marianis gasped and slapped him.
“Jerk!” Wulph was shocked.
“But you told her to attack too!”
“The dragons, not the kids!” Marianis and Wulph argued as the kids overpowered their dragons and Chute. Suddenly, a buzzing filled the air.
Wulph looked up and saw the tracking dragon he had released leading an army of tracking dragons. The dragon landed on his hand as the others flew into the kids, or at least, tried to. Most of them smashed into the windows of nearby buildings. The tracking dragon dropped a vial of blue liquid.
“The anti-virus!” Marianis and Wulph looked at each other and looked at the vial.
“Um… What do we do with it now?”
“I… have no idea.”
Suddenly, Sentrus rode up. “Give me the vial. Now.” Wulph started to hand it to her, but a yellow-bellied newt bit him and he dropped it. It smashed and left a small puddle of blue goop.
“Oh no.” Sentrus growled.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU’VE DONE?!!!”
“Not really, no.” Sentrus growled as Wulph and Marianis raced away.
“COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOTS!!!!”
Chapter Five
“And that is how we ended up working at the Daycare Center.” Wulph shook one of the kids that was chewing on him off. Phistus had fallen asleep again and the baby dragons were trying to chew him to death, or in most of their cases, gum him to death. Lance looked at Marianis.
“That’s a stupid story. I wanted to hear about the muhorta.” Chute growled.
“You little brat! You think it was fun facing all of those annoying little biting brats? Well it wasn’t!” She proceeded to chase him around them room. Marianis looked at Stewardd.
“Well, Little Mouse, I guess things will eventually go back to normal.” Stewardd gave her an evil “I hate you” glare.
“I told you to stop calling me that!!!” Marianis laughed.
“What are you going to do about it, Little Mouse?” Stewardd ran at her, but she put her hand against his forehead and held him a good three feet away from her. He just uselessly swung at her as Chute chased Lance, Wulph beat off the little children with a stick, and Phistus just slept as baby dragons chewed on him.
:D The End :D

OMG! ^_^ DemonicFury, you rule!!! This was really fun to read! A lot of stuff was going on!! Awesome job!!

Here's a contest one. You write it and I'll judge it. The top three will get a picture of the O.C. or O.D. of their choosing done by me on my computer.
Rules:
1. The main characters have to be Word and Zulay.
2. It has to be about a romance between them. But please, make romance scenes appropriate.
3. Humor is appreciated.
4. Must have a kiss scence between them.
5. Must have at least one crow-drag and one yellow-bellied newt.
6. Must be set anytime before or right after Moordryd is born. (she cannot suddenly come back while Moordryd is sixteen)
7. Zulay can look how you want and act like you want(as long as she's not an airhead(as if Word would fall for that)).
Any questions?

Deadline is October 13.
Ten days from now.

*Blink blink* YOU! *Points at Da Suga Queen* Write more Artha Parodies! that as absolutely BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!
:faint: <Looser LOL!