Here's something I just felt like posting:

Holly Jolly christmas
Have a Holly jolly RAMPAGE!
It's the best time of the year!
I don't know if it will snow, but have a cup of fear!
Have a Holly jolly RAMPAGE!
And incase you didn't know,
Say hello to folks you know,
and KILL 'EM once for me!
OH NO! The missiles go right where you can see!
Looks like they were aimed right for you and me! (BOOM)
Have a holly jolly RAMPAGE!
And when you're walking on the street,
Remember to greet folks you meet,
and CRUSH 'EM UNDER YOUR FEET!
Have a holly jolly RAMPAGE!
and incase you didn't hear,
Oh my golly, have a holly jolly RAMPAGE! this year!

Jingle bells
Bashing in your head, on a pair of broken trees,
over the hills you fly, landing on your knees!
Your nose is flowing red! Oh look! There goes your head!
Now I see an ICBM and you're as good as dead!
OH! COBBLEWEBS! COBBLESTONES! COBBLEBREAD AND ALL!!
It wouldn't hurt so bad if you hadn't broken your neck in the fall!
COBBWEBS! COBBLESTONES! CORN ON THE COBB AND ALL!!
He said that when he knew his beer would explode!

The Men in tights song

We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
((The Can-Can Chorus Line plays))
LA LA LA LA...

We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights.
(Gay voice) Yes!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights
(High Voice) TIGHT Tights
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!

WE'RE BUTCH!

(to the tune of: This land)
George Bush: This land is your land, this land is my land
I’m a texas tiger, your a liberal wiener,
I’m a great crusader, YOUR A HERMIT MUNSTER!
This land will surely vote for me!
John Kerry: This land is your land, this land is my land
I’m an intellectual, Your a stupid dumb ass!
I’m a purple heart winner, AND YES IT’S TRUE I WON IT RIGHT! (boom)
This land will surely vote for me!
George bush: You have more waffles then a house of pancakes!
You offer flip flops, I offer tax breaks!
Your a U.N. !^@!!(!(@# and yes it’s true that I KICK ASS!! YEHA!
This land will surely vote for me!
John Kerry: You can’t say nuclear, That really scares me!
Sometimes a brain can come in quite handy!
But it’s not gonna help you, because I won three Purple Hearts!
John Kerry: This land will surely vote for me! YAAAAHAAAA!
George Bush: YOUR A LIBERAL SISSY!
John Kerry: YOUR A RIGHT WING NUT JOB!
George Bush: YOUR A PINKO COMMIE!
John Kerry: YOUR DUMB AS A DOORNOB!
George Bush: HEY! YOU GOT THAT BOTOX!
John Kerry: BUT I STILL WON THREE PURPLE HEARTS!
George bush and John Kerry: This land will surely vote for me!
Chief Joseph: This land was my land
Large group of voices: BUT NOW IT’S OUR LAND!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: From California
Bill Clinton and escort(silent): To the New York Is--(wife comes in and slaps him) WHA’D I DO?
John Kerry: From the liberal wieners
George Bush: To the right-wing nut jobs
Both: This land belongs, this land belongs, This land belongs (pause) to you and me!
George Bush: oh yeah, and dic Cheney to!


(to the tune of Supercalafragalistic-expialadocious)
The Reformation day Polka
When I was just ein junger man, I studied cannon law,
while Eurfort was a challenge, it was just to please my pa.
Then came the stormy night, the lightning struck, I called upon Saint Anne,
I shaved my head, I took my vows; an Augustinian!

Chorus: Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation,
speak your mind against them and face excommunication.
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a reformation,
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!

When Tetzel came near Wittenberg, St. Peter's profits soared
So, I made a little message for the all saints bulletin board.
"You cannot purchase merit, for we're justified by grace"
Here's 95 more theses, Brother Tetzel, IN YOUR FACE!

Chorus: Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation,
speak your mind against them and face excommunication.
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a reformation,
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!

They loved my tracts, adored my wit, all were exempleror,
The pope however hauled me up before the emperor
"Are these your books, do you recant?" King Charles did demand,
"I will not change my diet, sir, God help me, here I stand!"

Chorus: Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation,
speak your mind against them and face excommunication.
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a reformation,
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Duke Frederick took the wise approach, responding to my words,
By knighting "george" as hostage in the kingdom of the birds,
"Use brother Martins model, for the languages you seek,
stay locked up in a castle, WITH YOUR HEBREW AND YOUR GREEK!"

Chorus: Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation,
speak your mind against them and face excommunication.
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a reformation,
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!

So, let's raise our steins, and concord books, together in this place,
and spread the word that 'catholic' is spelled with lower case!
The Word remains unfettered when the Spirit gets a chance,
So, come on, Katie, Drop your lute, and join us in our dance!

Chorus: Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation,
speak your mind against them and face excommunication.
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a reformation,
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!
Oh, Papal bulls, Indulgences, and transubstantiation!

http://thekingdomcome.com/refpolka.swf


(to the tune of "In days of auld lang syne")
2-0-5
George Bush: With Hurricanes, and terrorists,
it's been hard to just get by.
Here's hopin' the year 2-0-6, turns out better than 2-0-5!
Well, Kim John's throwin fits,
and the shuttle's on the fritz,
there's an intafada brewin' in the Gaza strip.
Oh, the Defecits a-risin,
half of Europe hates my guts,
and industrial America is goin' bankrupt!
There is a great sense of urgency,
we've got to squash the insurgency
My approval rating's in a dive,
I hope it's not another year like 2-0-5!

Oh, A leak investigation's got the white house in a snarl,
There's a special prosecuter after my friend Carl,
And our energy dependency has put me in a bind,
I've been worried 'bout Alaska, it'll be just fine!

My appointee was a big flop,
The housing market is 'bout to pop!

group of men: with record profits at the pump,
man: I drive an SUV and take it in the rump!

Group of men: all of our jobs, gone overseas
man from India: each day I make 1 dollar 73

G bush: From Katrina, Fema, Gitmo too,
the last thing I need now is the Avian flu!
'Cause every problem in the world,
lands right here on my desk.
I tried to get to Crawford,
even there couldn't get no rest!

From Pirates in Somalia,
to that nut-job in Iran!
It's hard to rule the free-world,
But I'm doing the best I can! (it's hard work!)

With same sex marriage ((shudder)), Stem-cells, scooter libby, Tom DeLay-y-y-y!
(deep breath)
Here's hopin' the year, 2-0-6,
Brings a few more Brighter DAYYYYYYYYS!
www.jibjab.com


The Ferret song

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
Choir: He's got a ferret sticking up his nose
How it got there, I can't tell, but now it's there, it hurts like Hell, and what is more it practically affects my sense of smell
Choir: his sense of smell
I can see him in th'other ventrill
Choir: Slyly eyeing the other nostrill
If he jumps inside there too, I really won't know what to do, I'll be the proud possessor of a kind of nasal flu
Choir: of nasal flu
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
Choir: And what is worse, it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode, you see, but it happened nine times yesterday, and I should know 'cause each time I was standing in the way
(music flourishes, singing in grand voices)
Man AND choir: I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
Man AND choir: I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
Both: how it got there I can't tell, but now it's there it hurts like hell, and what is more it practically affects--my--sense--of--smeeeeeeeeeeell!

http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/audio/zi...ferret_song.zip

When you click on this link, it will ask you where you want to download a file.
This is only a .zip (compressed file) of the song. Press save, and save it on your desktop.
There are no viruses or spam on the file. I'll vouch for that.


Otto's suicide squad
(5 deep voiced men singing)
There's a man we call our leader,
He's fine and strong and fast,
and we'll follow him and press to be,
towards an early grave!
He begins a smoke of sacrifice,
and a chance to die in vain!
And if we're one of the lucky ones,
we'll live to die again!
We'll die and die and die and die and die and die and die!
No need for explanations,
not ours to reason why!
So we march behind our leader,
and we shout our battle cry! (kazoo plays two sharp notes)
We buy drink, and sleep, and eat good food,
and disarm a chance to die!

HAIL LEADER!

(music intensifies)
(rest of the army joins in and marches in place)
(sfx: boots marching loudly)
There's a man we call our leader,
Who's brave and fine and fast!
and we'll follow him forever,
though his mental state is bad!
We'll die for him in sunshine,
we'll die for him in rain,
though we know he's got a swelling of the front part of his brain!

(music flourishes)
OTTO YOU'RE A MASTER!
OTTO WE'LL WIN TRUE!
DISPITE YOUR LITTLE PROBLEMS,
OTTO WE LOVE YOU!

(music returns to boots marching)
Though he may have little black-outs,
and not get sleep at night!
He has a little depression,
but they're only very slight!
He's got all the passing symptoms
of advanced mental decay!
But we'll kill ourselves for Otto,
And it's not quite enough to say:

(music flourishes)
OTTO YOU'RE A MASTER!
OTTO WE'LL WIN TRUE!
THOUGH YOU BADLY NEED SOME TREATMENT,
OTTO WE LOVE YOU!
(music flourishes)
OTTO YOU'RE A MASTER!
OTTO WE'LL WIN TRUE!
DISPITE YOUR LITTLE PROBLEMS,
OTTO WE LOVE YOU!
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/audio/zi...uicide_song.zip
When you click on this link, it will ask you where you want to download a file.
This is only a .zip (compressed file) of the song. Press save, and save it on your desktop.
There are no viruses or spam on the file. I'll vouch for that.