I was bored and surfing the net one day. Stupid quotes I found particularly hilarious...

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."
- Road sign on US 27

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
- Terry Venables

XD

I can top that, though. Prepare yourself for the many sayings of George "Dubya" Bush.

"I think we can agree, the past is over."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

And who could go past this?

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

I have one from last Friday.

me and one of my friends were in my gym class, and this one kid asked a question like "I don't wanna' run laps, can I sit on the side instead?"

and my gym teacher sayd "That was a stupid question, 10 pushups"

then me and my friend said with a horrified look on our faces "But-but there's no such thing as a stupid question :0!"

then he fell silent and made us run laps.

not much of a quote, but I have used that line a bit in the last few days. :P

This deffinetly won't be the funniest/stupidest thing you ever heard, but today in science class, Royce is sitting at his desk and he's like.....I guess figeting is the only way to put it, but the teacher notices and she's like "What?" and Royce's like,
"There's something on my pant leg and it's growing..." I didn't laugh out loud, but once I Went over it in my head and realized just how wierd that was, then I laughed. That was just so wierd!! Seriously, how many times do you here something like that in a day? I don't think they ever figured out what was growig on his pant leg........ creepy, huh? :unsure:

I love it when someone says, 'My husband/wife...' and someone else says 'Oh, you're married?'

Ohhhhhhh, these are my most favorite Supernatural Quotes! :wub: :D

Sam: Are you ok?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: Why? What's wrong?
Dean: I kind of have this problem with...
(moves his hand in a plane motion)
Sam: Flying?
Dean: It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam: You're joking right?
Dean: Do I look like I'm joking?! Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?!
~Phantom Traveller

(talking about the shapeshifter)
Dean: Argh, the thought of him driving my car.
Sam: Ah come on.
Dean: It's killing me!
Sam: Let it go.
~Skin

Dean: (talking about his dad) You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda.
~Asylum

Dean: Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?
~Asylum

Katherine: So how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?
Sam: It's kind of our job.
Katherine: Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam: I had a crappy guidance counselor.
~Asylum

Emily: So what’s the plan?
Dean: I’m working on it.
(several hours later)
Emily: You don’t have a plan, do you?
Dean: I’m working on it…
~Scarecrow

Dean: How’d you get here?
Sam: I stole a car.
Dean: That’s my boy!
~Scarecrow

Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
~Scarecrow

Dean: Listen, you want to just get this over with, huh, cause I really can't stand the monologuing.
~Devil's Trap

Sam: I'm gonna kill you.
John: (possessed) Oh, that would be a neat trick. In fact, here, make the gun float to you there, psychic boy.
~Devil's Trap

Dean: You still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television.
Sam: At least I'm not afraid of flying.
Dean: Planes crash!
Sam: And apparently clowns kill.
~Everybody Loves a Clown

Sam: All right, Dean, it's just we've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once.
Dean: You know what, you're right. Come here, I want to lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, maybe even slow dance.
~Everybody Loves a Clown

(after reburying Angela)
Sam: Rest in peace.
Dean: Yeah, for good this time, okay?
~Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Sam: I think she broke my hand.
Dean: You're just too fragile. We'll get it looked at later.
~Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Neil: You're crazy.
Dean: Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and we're crazy?
~Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Dean: Neil, it’s your grief counselors. We’ve come to hug.
~Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Ava: (to shrink) I just remembered, when I was a kid I swallowed, like, 8 things of pop rocks and then drank a whole can of coke. You don’t think that that counts as a suicide attempt, do you?
~Hunted

Gordon: What, you think this is revenge?
Dean: Well we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days. (snickers) Which was awesome. Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.
~Hunted

Sam: Gordon's taken care of. (get shot at by Gordon).
Dean: You call this taken care of?! (cops pull up and arrest Gordon)
Sam: Anonymous tip.
Dean: You're a fine, upstanding citizen, Sam.
~Hunted

Sam: This woman's had a stroke.
Dean: Yeah, but hoodoo's hands-on...
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: ...you gotta mix herbs, and chant, and build an altar.
Sam: So it can't be Rose. Heck, maybe it's not even hoodoo.
Dean: You know, she could be faking.
Sam: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? (Dean nods) Dude, you are not gonna poke her with a stick!
~Playthings

Dean: Wow! This is a lotta dolls. Er, they're nice, they're not super-creepy at all...
~Playthings

Dean: Hey, are those antique dolls? ‘Cause this one, this one here, he has a major doll collection back home. (grins at Sam) Don’t ya?
Sam: (reluctantly) Big time.
Dean: Big time. Ueah, you think he could come…well, we could come in and take a look?
Susan: I don’t know…
Dean: Please? Please, I mean he loves them. He’s not gonna tell you this, but he’s always dressing ‘em up in these little tiny outfits and I mean, you’d make his day. She would, huh?
Sam: (glaring at Dean) It’s true.
~Playthings

Dean: (to Sam) You get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of thing. See if she’s whacked anybody before.
Sam: Right.
Dean: Don’t go surfing porn, that’s not the kind of whacking I mean.
~Playthings

Bobby: If you two had bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear.
Dean: What?
Bobby: What you’re dealing with.
Dean: I got nothing.
Sam: Me neither.
Bobby: You got a trickster on your hands.
Dean: That’s what I thought!
~Tall Tales

Dean: Look man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style, you know. I mean, (gestures to scantily clad women) I do. I mean… phew! And the slow dancing alien...(both laugh)
Janitor: One of my personal favorites.
~Tall Tales

(Dean continues on telling his version of the story)
Sam: So you and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house?
Frat Guy: Yeah.
Dean: You heard of what happened to him right?
Frat Guy: Yeah, he said it was aliens... but you know, whatever.
Sam: Look man, I know this all has to be so hard...
Frat Guy: Not so much.
Sam: But I want you to know...I'm here for you. (pause) You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. (hugs him) Too precious for this world.
(cuts back to actual time)
Sam: I never said that!
Dean: You're always saying pansy stuff like that.
~Tall Tales

Starla: My God, you are attractive!
Dean: Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please? Lives are at stake.
Starla: Sorry, I can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun.
~Tall Tales

Bobby: You're bickering like an old married couple.
Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins,
Sam: It's conjoined twins.
Dean: See what I mean?
~Tall Tales

Sam: Dean. this is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah!
~Tall Tales

Curtis: They did tests on me then uh.. (drinks shot) they probed me
Dean: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah, they probed me... again and again and again and... (drinks shot again) ...and again and again and again and then one more time.
Dean: Yikes
Curtis: That's not even the worst of it.
Dean: How can that not be the worst part? Some alien made you his B-eep-?
(long pause)
Curtis: They... they made me slow dance...
~Tall Tales

Dean: I like (the bank guard). He says "okey dokey."
Sam: What if he's the shifter?
Dean: We follow him home, put a silver bullet in his chest
~Nightshifter

Dean: B-eep-
Sam: What're you calling me a b-eep- for?
Dean: You're supposed to say "jerk."
Sam: What?
Dean: Never mind.
~What Is and What Never Should Be

I *heart* these quotes! :D

:D I especially like,

That's also one of my fave clips from Supernatural. Sam acts so prissy and stuck up. :D

Bush quotes!

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

"And so, what Gen. Petraeus is saying, some early signs, still dangerous, but give me -- give my chance a plan to work."

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."

Here's a couple more

Haley: You're rangers?
Dean: That's right
Haley: And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?
Dean: Oh, sweetheart, I don't do shorts.
~Wendigo

Sheriff: You got the faces of ten missing persons taped to your wall. Along with a whole lot of satanic mumbo jumbo. Boy, you are officially a suspect.
Dean: That makes sense, since when the first one went missing in '82 I was three!
~Pilot

Sam: Hey Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: No chick flick moments.
Sam: All right... jerk.
Dean: B-eep-.
~Pilot

Sam: Yeah? When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45.
Dean: Well what was he supposed to do?
Sam: I was nine years old. He was supposed to say "Don’t be afraid of the dark."
Dean: Don’t be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me - of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what’s out there!
~Pilot

Sam: But the eyes. What would cause something like that?
Doctor: Capillaries comburst? Uh... I see a lot of bloodshot eyes with stroke victims.
Dean: Yeah, you ever see exploding eyeballs?
Doctor: Yeah, that's a first for me.
~Bloody Mary

(discussing Jill's murder)
Charlie: I'm insane, right?
Dean: No, you're not insane.
Charlie: That makes me feel so much worse!
~Bloody Mary

Dean: Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean : This has gotta be like, what, 600 hundred years bad luck?
~Bloody Mary

Dean: Dude, I earned that money.
Sam: You won it in a poker game!
Dean: Yeah…?
~Bloody Mary

Deputy Kathleen: And it just got back to me. Says here your badge was stolen. And there is a picture of you.
(shows him a picture of a large black man)
Dean: I lost some weight and I got that Michael Jackson skin disease...
~The Benders

Pa Bender: Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?
Dean: Oh, eat me! No, no, no...wait, wait. You actually might.
~The Benders

Dean: Growing up in a place like this would freak me out.
Sam: Why?
Dean: The manicured lawns, "How was your day, honey?" I'd blow my brains out.
Sam: There's nothing wrong with normal.
Dean: I'd take our family over normal any day.
~Bugs

Dean: Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap.
Sam: Yeah, but hustling pool, credit card scams. It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean.
Dean: Well let's see. Honest...fun and easy. (pause) It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it, it's what we were raised to do.
Sam: Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked.
~Bugs

Larry: Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or...sexual orientation.
Dean: We’re brothers.
Real Estate Agent: We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or sexual orientation.
Dean: Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? (smacks Sam on the butt)
~Bugs

Sam: It doesn't matter what Dad wants.
Dean: See, that attitude there... That's why I always got the extra cookie.
~Asylum

I'll put somemore later.

I cant belive the stuff that people say. I cant think of anything at the moment but hopefully Ill hear some tomorrow when the people at the wedding Ill be working at get drunk. It kind of smells all that beer stinking up the place but the people are hillarious to watch.

FROM THE X FILES.
Skully; why is it so dark?
Mulder; 'cause the light's not on.

i found that rather funny.

This one isnt all that stupid but I thought it was rather noteworthy. Its from the movie Night at the Museam or how ever yiou spell it.

Teddy Roosevelt to main Character: "Im made of wax but what are you made of?"

Here's somemore!

Max: All these people kept coming with, like casserole. I finally had to tell them all to go away. Because nothing says “sorry” like a tuna casserole
~Nightmare

Sam: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Both our families are cursed.
Dean: Our family’s not cursed…we've just had our dark spots.
Sam: (chuckles) Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Dean: You’re...dark.
~Nightmare

Dean: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam: Where?
Dean: Vegas. (Sam ‘harrumphs’ and walks out) What? Come on man! Craps table? We’d clean up!
~Nightmare

Sam: Well, I’ll tell you one thing. We’re lucky we had Dad.
Dean: I never thought I’d hear you say that.
~Nightmare

Sam: We're not gonna kill Max.
Dean: Then what? Hand him over to the cops and say, "Lock him up, Officer. He kills with the power of his mind."
~Nightmare

Sam: I thought I'd never see you again.
Meg: Well, I'm glad you were wrong.
(Dean does a fake cough, trying to get attention)
Meg: Dude, cover your mouth.
~Shadow

Sam: All right, Dean. This is the place.
Dean: You know, I’ve gotta say Dad and me did just fine without these stupid costumes. I feel like a high school drama dork. What was that play that you did? What was it, uh – our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute.
~Shadow

Sam: How'd you figure that out?
Dean: Give me some credit, man. You don't have a corner on paper chasing around here.
Sam: Oh yeah? Name the last book you read.
Dean: Ah, I called dad's friend, Caleb. He told me, all right?
~Shadow

Sam: So, you talk to the cops?
Dean: Uh, yeah. I spoke to Amy a, uh, charming and perky officer of the law.
Sam: Yeah, and what did you find out?
Dean: Well, she’s a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean...whew. Oh, and she’s got this little tattoo...
~Shadow

Sam: I think there’s something weird going on here.
Dean: Yeah – she wasn’t even into me!
~Shadow

Dean: So they're really not afraid of the sun.
John: Direct sunlight hurts like a nasty sunburn. The only way to kill 'em is by beheading...and yeah they sleep during the day, but it doesn't mean they won't wake up.
~Dead Man's Blood

Kate: Car trouble? Let me give you a lift. Take you back to my place.
Dean: Ah, I'll pass. I usually draw the line at necrophilia.
Kate: Ooh! (picks Dean up with one hand)
Dean: I don't normally get this friendly until the second date...
Kate: You know, we could have some fun. I always like to make new friends.
Dean: Sorry, don't really stay with a chick that long, definitely not eternity.
~Dead Man's Blood

Dean: Vampires. Gets funnier every time I hear it!
~Dead Man's Blood

John: Dean, why don't you touch up your car, before you get rust. I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it.
~Dead Man's Blood

Yellow Eyed Demon: You're awfully quiet, Sam... you're not mad at me, are you?
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

(Sam hears a noise and is about to turn the corner)
Sam: Andy!?
Andy: Sam... what are you doing here?
Sam: I don't know.
Andy: What am I doing here?
Sam: I don't know, just...
Andy: Where are we!?
Sam: Andy, look calm down.
Andy: I can't calm down. I just woke up in friggin' frontier land!
Sam: What's the last thing you remember?
Andy: Honestly... my fourth bong load.
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Sam: Andy, you still with me, or what?
Andy: Give me a minute, I'm still working through "Demons are real.
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Andy: I've been practicing, training my brain like meditation, right, so now it's not just thoughts I can beam out, but images, too, like anything I want. It's like bam, people they see it. This one guy I know, total dick. I use it on him... gay porn. All hours of the day. (laughing) It's just like, you just have to see the look on his face. (everyone's speechless)
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Dean: (just had a vision) That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Jake: Salt is a weapon?
Sam: It's a brave new world.
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Dean: Don't forget the extra onions this time!
Sam: Dude, I'm the one who has to ride in the car with your extra onions.
Dean: Hey, see if they've got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie.
~All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

Andy: (reading Dean's receipt) "D. Hasselhoff"?
Sam: Yeah. That's Dean's signature. It... it's kind of hard to explain.
~ All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

That's all for now folks.

Please remember that the topic of this post is 'Stupid Quotes', not 'Heelarious Supernatural Quotes!'

Oops. Sorry LightningFlash. I thought that some of them were rather stupid, but stupid funny.