Ok this is a very tini preview of my fics, traslator was pretty bad and my grammar isn't better.

I want a opinion of this preview (I think that is the half of first chapter and I may change chapter tittle)

OPPOSITE FACTIONS
By
Airshadow
CHAPTER I
ENEMIES
"Have they arrived?”
Cain watched with respect the man who made the question, too much he was familiarized with Word Paynn’s coldness face to feel the fear that any other would feel. Moordryd, on the other hand, watched with interest his father, certainly he must have planes something allow Diamath Corp’s CEOS to enter Paynn’s Citadel.
Diamath Corp. was becoming the most powerful rival of Paynn Incorporated in last years and all thanks to the emergent leadership of Sehanmus Diamath, young seventeen geniuses of the finances; he was a decided and enterprising teen. It was said that his father: Adabert Diamath, the cruelest, cold and calculating man of City Draconia, had taught personally everything to him what knew about businesses.
Paynn frowned his eyebrows while old memories returned to their mind. Diamath and he had shared a disguised personal and corporative rivalry during last decades. The balance of the power had inclined during both sides, until a Paynn’s aggressive corporative maneuver forced to Diamath to leave City Dragon.
"Have they arrived?" asked again coldly Paynn Senior.
"They are escorting..." responded Cain.
"Moordryd..." said Paynn with the same coldness tone.
"Yes Father"
"You should remember which we have spoken..."

Hmm...well, there are a few grammar errors and typos here and there. Huh, Word Paynn is Paynn Senior then? Hehe, I chuckle at this. He can still do freaky martial arts backflips and land on his feet, and still, you can hear no bones crack. :P

You've given some information about the competing company, but it would be interesting as when this takes place, because I'm kinda confused. You missed a few things like a question mark and such, and it would help better if you could leave a space in between each new paragraph. :)

Wait, so it's called City Draconia, not Dragon City? Fancy. :D

When you use Senior then???????

and no

Dragon City and Draconian City are two diferent places. IN Spanish mention that Paynn wants to control the planet and A planet it's biggest than a city then Other cities must exist :D

Ah, I see, forgive me for my stupidity and sheer bluntness. So this would be AU then? (I think it means 'Another Universe'.)

Almost. Alternate Universe. ;)

I should have payed more attention in my grammar, I haven't the idea to write a full fiction in years and I'm just doign some attemps to do one some months ago

I guess


I know more or less how start, what's next and I have an idea of the end...

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_prev...39517&chapter=1
this is the adress for my fic, 'heart of the dragon'. it is based after pride of the hero and is not a :wub: fic. It's about how Moodryf ells after pride of the hero, about how he sort of liked being good. Can a liitle trouble from two Dragon Eyes, a little nudge from a wild-racer, and a specail chance change him?
Bear with me on OOCness, it gets fixed, and the story comes together in the posted third chapter.

Kerea I can't read it!!!!

they ask me a password and to be log in :( :(

gimme a sec to find a diff adress

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2539517/1/
okay, that's it!

WOW

This fics looks interesting :D:D:D:D:D:D