The creation of DB OCs is a bit of a concern to some people on this board, whether as readers or as writers. Sometimes they're Sues/Stus, sometimes they're flat and boring, or sometimes they just don't belong in the story. I'm setting up this topic for anyone who wants to post about their OC and ask for feedback, and/or anyone who wants to give feedback on a maybe-Sue.

Board links on Mary-Sues include:
- This somewhat outdated litmus test, modelled on the other litmus tests out there, to help determine whether or not a DB OC is a Sue
- Parody examples of DB Mary-Sues (and some profiles)
- Discussion concerning them
- Discussion concerning Artha as a Canon Sue with some additional discussion on Mary-Sues in general.

I'm not going to insert a form template at the bottom of this, because most of them feel unnecessarily confining to me (for example, I really don't think a writer needs to have figured out what their character's favourite colour is in order to write them well unless it's somehow relevant to their personality, eg is meant to be a tough street racer but actually likes pink). Relevant qualities, though, would include: name, personality traits and draconium influences, bio, strengths and weaknesses, occupation, abilities, physical appearance, role and prominence in story, dragon (or rider), dragon's attributes (or rider's attributes). In general, the more a writer knows about a character the better, though this can go overboard depending on how relevant the character is to the story.

An OC of mine:

Name: (Caesar) Zephos
Personality traits: Methodical, dry, logical, hardworking, quietly ambitious
Draconium influences: Black, secondary influences Blue, Brown and Light Blue

Bio: Born middle-class to older parents in the Black Draconium Empire of three thousand years ago. After an unremarkable childhood followed by scholastic graduation went straight into the Imperium as a Praetor (public servant) like her now-retired father. Following sixteen years of paper-pushing under the then-Caesar Menam was appointed as his personal assistant, holding this post for nine years. After Menam's surprising and somewhat early death after his long and distinguished career of rulership self-nominated for his position and was ratified by the Senate in favour of Menam's son. Currently forty-nine.
Positive Bio: Following years of distinguished public service as a Praetor, Zephos was nominated to govern in Menam's stead as our Caesar, her support entirely overwhelming the weak forces of Lyen's fragmented opposition.
Negative Bio: In the aftermath of Caesar Menam's sudden death after thirty-four years of rulership, the power vacuum required filling--and bureaucrat Zephos turned out to be the woman to fill it. Using her contacts on the inside of the Praetorium and taking advantage of Senator Lyen's filial grief, she presented the Senate with an ultimatum: ratify her nomination or face the shattering of the inner workings of government. They chose the latter...

Strengths: Extremely hardworking, experienced, very good at understanding bureaucratic detail, far more likely to be underestimated than overestimated.
Weaknesses: Able to gain respect but not love from others, tends to think of people as complicated cogs in a machine rather than as feeling individuals, few close friends, seen as remote and boring rather than as fascinating and dynamic.

Occupation: Ruler of the Black Draconium Empire
Abilities: After thirty-three years of single-minded concentration on government work knows far more about the inner workings of the Empire than anyone else alive. Very capable of dealing with bureaucratic detail, plugging up loopholes, managing and analysing information flow, arranging events to her satisfaction.
Physical appearance: Caucasian (the Black Empire is located over fairly cool territory hence many inhabitants are pale-featured); medium height; somewhat dumpy build (sedentary lifestyle); thick dark hair with white and grey running through it; generally dresses in dusty black
Role in story: Secondary character and (obviously) a key plot mover; her current personal assistant is a viewpoint character, however.

Dragon: Senger
Dragon Attributes: An ordinary black dragon she's had for thirty-eight years; around the same age as her and like her getting a little old and slow; her transport to and from the office.

Name: Minerva Rahn
Personality traits: Kid at heart,overactive imagination, eccentric, sarcastic, people person, stubborn, lazy, and likes to do some labor work.
Draconium Influences: Black, secondary is white and red

Bio: Minerva is just your typical 20 year old street racer who enjoyes taking a day off, sleeping the day, day dreaming, seeing through an artistic perspective of the world, and making up her own mottos to go by. She tends to have a "forgetful"mind that she and her older sister, Sighfur are the decedants of the very few black draconium warriors from 3,000 when the first dragon-human war started. Even though The Black Draconium did start the war, few of the other fighters stood by the original dragon booster and Beau to lend their powers to stop the fighting. It seems highly unorthodox that someone with black draconium would help the war but in Minervas and Sighfurs family, they were taught the ways of releasing Psi dragons to their full black energy potential and using most of the negative energy to make them more powerful. Minerva is still in training to communicate with her mental thoughts to her dragon and releasing the balancing black draconium energy, so her older sibling trains her vigorously for the all city racing and making her self useful to the new and rising crew, "The Gung-Ho Dragons."
Postive Bio: Minerva really is a hardworker, she just has her own "pace" to do work but her older sister just calls it "Laziness." Her motto she currently goes by is "Carpe Diem", she seizes the day and enjoyies of it as much as she can. Sometimes her overactive imagination can get her great ideas to draw or invent new things to help and entertain herself/other people. Great with people, she can be quite talkative and love making people laugh of her sarcastic attitude and eccentric ways too.
Negative Bio: She has a problem with her temper, when her anger blinds her common sense she performs her actions before thinking about them. Stubborn as a bull-class dragon, she doesn't listen well to others (especially her sister) and responds "yea yea I gottcha" and "wings it." Minerva also gets too overconfident when something needs to be done and perfers to do it on her own, till the last minute when she asks for help.

Strengths: Great personality, drawing, having leadership qualities, standing up for herself, honest, and great power.
Weaknesses: Letting her temper get the best of her, fear of failing her sister, racing, her family and herself, asking for help, and math.

Occupation: Street Racer
Abilities: Not the best racer yet, but she has great control of balancing her power and using her quick reflexes to dodge attack gears. Her overconfidence and lucky guesses do help her win some races, but she also likes to plan out her move before doing it. Minerva's imaginative mind thinks outside the box, she places the track in her mind and can "draw" out a alternative way or shortcut to win the races.
Physical Apperance: Light/tan olive skin, her height is about 5'5" and has mismatched color irises (her right is black with a hint of white in them and her left is light silvery green) an average/muscular body built (from the labor work) her hair is wildflower orange that's cut short to her shoulders (her ends lift up a bit) with streaks of blonde in them. The bangs go all the way back to shape them like horns, the tips and underneath are black. Her orange jacket is baggy, she rolls up her right sleeve and holds it with a pin so when using a weapon, writing, or just annoys her. There is a little strap that goes across her collar and wears a tight black and dark violet shirt that has the logo name "Gung Ho." Likes to wear baggy pants with comfortable shoes, and has a distinct tattoo behind her neck which is the same symbol her dragon has.
Role in Story: To race and be the best to get to the elite class, getting to know the different crews (either befriending them or rivals) attending to the down city council meetings, fighting/defending with her crew, and helping the new dragon booster and Beau and more.

Dragon: Hebichan
Dragon Attributes: Intelligence, speed, shadow walking, communication, and balancing her power. Hebichan is a few years younger than Minerva and is a bit of a coward (because she is still young) but is fiercely loyal and protective of her. She has a very open personality and shows alot of emotional gestures when she is happy,sad,angry,and laughing.

hope my character doesn't sound all cheesy, mary sue-ish, or over dramatic or something ^^; can't wait to hear your feedback Sarah! =)

--Minverva Rahn

I do have a few queries concerning her. Firstly, a note: real people are very complicated beings who may display conflicting characteristics at various times under varying circumstances. In the context of a character profile, however, this information is simply not available. What might work in a writing sample (another good thing to put in posts to this thread in order to help others properly understand a character) or be perfectly reasonable in an author's head might make little sense when it comes to a profile like this. In a sense, some simplification is required; real people may not be easily broken down into "what are the ten best adjectives with which to describe her", but, in the fictional context, when there's no way we're going to get to know the amount of information we know about ourselves and those close to us, it's best to concentrate on the primary personality traits rather than the gray areas that will undoubtedly crop up in the story itself. For example, a character's most defining quality might be "self-interested cunning"; if "fights bravely for those he cares about" was added onto the character profile it would seem contradictory and borderline Sueish, yet if in the story that character was shown as having strong reasons to care about certain people when the Evil Empire commits crimes which are just so much worse than anything he's ever done, it's not contradictory any more.

Using your pen name for an OC is a pretty definite Mary-Sue sign, because of the danger that an author might like her character too much; because she shares your name, she might "be" you, and this might mean that you don't want "yourself" to get hurt/be wrong/have flaws. The name fits into Dragon City well enough, though, and the sister's name has a 'canon' feel to it. (Also, just a note: Google tells me 'Rahn' means 'slim, slight', or else is derived from 'Ranislav' (apparently meaning something like happy glory) from here and behindthename.com).

If Minerva's a kid at heart as well as a people person, you might want to bear in mind that some people might not like her that much; laid-back and jokesy people do tend to annoy some more serious others. "Kid at heart" also doesn't really go with "sarcastic"--sarcasm tends to have a bite to it, whereas "kid at heart" isn't generally used to suggest "devious little monster" but "innocent, optimistic young thing". "Eccentric" is more like the latter description. Also, that she takes these days off and tends to daydream would be a reason why she might not be as good in racing as she could be. "Imaginative and out-of-the-box" also doesn't mesh very well with "stubborn".

That she's stubborn makes it seem as though she should have Green as a third secondary influence. (Most characters seem to have three, anyway.) I like that you included that she likes doing manual work (to think, perhaps?); it's an individual touch of personality that's nice to see.

Do you know the names of your ancestors from a hundred years ago, Minerva? (You probably do if you've ever done any sort of family history project.) How about two hundred? (Likely enough depending on how interested you are in family history and how much your family's moved around between then and now.) Three hundred? (Probably not; the vast majority of people don't.) Now skip down to three thousand. I do realise that show canon is that the Dragon Priests have kept far more of the history of that time alive than is truly plausible, but three thousand years later means that there will be very, very little genetic resemblance to the ancestors, and it's extremely unlikely that a family line (as against an organisation) would manage to retain the history through all the marriages/wars/migrations/deaths that would have occurred in the intervening period of time. It might be okay if your character discovered her three-thousand-year-ago ancestors by manifestation of abilities/visions or something, if due to the reemergence of the gold dragon ancient memories have returned to certain citizens of Dragon City with the right sort of genetic code (say she's a throwback), but a family line lasting for three thousand years is very much outside plausibility even in this show, and definitely very Sueish.

She's another up-and-coming racer with the advantage of these special abilities, and we haven't heard of her in canon? Why is this? And being eccentric, lazy and a child at heart aren't qualities that people with good leadership qualities generally have/show (at least not while they're being leaders).

It sounds like her stubbornness, temper and overconfidence are genuine flaws (as long as there are consequences, such as, as you mention, having to ask for help), which is good.

"Great personality"--a Sue-sign; one doesn't have simply a "great" personality, one has a personality "that enables me to make friends easily", "that entertains people who share my sense of humor", "that (as will almost invariably be the case) people of certain types like while occasionally makes people of other types want to run screaming". It's not specific and hence meaningless while simultaneously making the character sound good.

Why are drawing and math relevant? It's quite good that you give her an artistic hobby (and a character with an artistic temperament and perception also sounds interesting), but since as a racer chances are she won't need any sort of math other than the instinctive what-angle-do-I-need-to-aim-the-dragon-at sort it's not a "real" weakness, simply an area of talent she doesn't possess and probably doesn't need to. It's much like a Suethor saying that their swordfighting sorceress warrior can't play the saxophone--the character wouldn't NEED to. But you're very definitely giving the character more "left brained" attributes, which is relevant to her personality.

Your physical description is quite long; other than the mismatched eyes I don't see anything glaringly Sueish in there, but bear in mind that how a character looks is far less relevant than their personality. Long descriptions of clothing and appearance are almost invariably tedious; hardly any viewpoint character will carry around a measuring device wherever they go to determine exact height/weight/size details. I'm in no way artistic and hence rarely bother to fully physically visualise my characters other than basic descriptors with detail added as per necessary ("okay, she's dark-haired, pale, pretty, wearing black for the subterfuge mission, as X is looking into her eyes they're probably brown so I'll write that down now and remember it, since she's going to a formal party she might wear green, the frill that Y steps on might as well be blue..."), but I do think that physical appearance is about the least relevant aspect to a character bar insofar as it bears some relation to their personality and acts as an identifier. (Like the baggy pants--now that's relevant to characterisation as it shows a character who likes comfort, but the precise hairstyle description is probably only relevant if you're telling someone who wants to draw her.)

The Down City Council appears to be limited to the twelve main Crews; what mechanism do you include in your story for this crew attending? Nemi and I have theorised that the "secret" Crews such as the Prophets and Keepers are generally believed to be long extinct while their emblems are kept in the Council Hall for purposes of historical remembrance, but riders of "ordinary" orange dragons, various independents, as well as undercover Prophet and Keeper agents take these vacated seats in order to stand up for these smaller groups.

Hebichan's name is too fangirl Japanese-y for me; if I recall her picture correctly she looks good, but I don't think there's really a place in Dragon City for renegade anime fangirls.

It sounds like Minerva has potential to be a decent character depending on how well she's written and how major/minor she is in the story. :)

Name: Reno Tajih
Personality traits: Cocky, playful, bad tempered.
Draconium Influences: Blue secondary; Red, Turquoise

Bio: Reno's a young guy from a bad part of dragon city. He speaks with alot of slang, swears, and is constantly smirking. Smokes, drinks, likes to get in fights for no better reason than 'he could'. Reno's a complete smartalic and just loves getting people into trouble. He's not very loyal to anyone, but he could be if someone gave him a chance.
Postive Bio: He's nice enough once you get past the swearing. Reno's smart, knows how to repair things with the most basic of tools. He also takes good care of his dragon.
Negative Bio: He smokes, he drinks, he cusses, he fights with people. Reno is untrustworthy to most people, and is constantly on the lookout for a better deal.
Strengths: Deception, martial arts, good with dragons.
Weaknesses: He is no good with people. He can't work in a team without something too look forward to. He can be easilly manipulated.

Occupation: ?
Abilities: He's great at martial arts, but not in any aparent style. He could race, but he has no real training, just what he's learned by himself.
Physical Apperance: Pale skin, Green eyes and VERY long red hair in a ponytail. He's thin and tall. Reno doesn't wear a racing suit, as he has no need for one. He wears a black, baggy T-shirt and tight jeans with combat boots.
Role in Story: He's the DB's guide in the darker parts of Down City.

Dragon: Hiidro
Dragon Attributes: Intelligence, speed, balance
Hiidro is calm and collected, the exact oposite to his rider. As a blue dragon, he's loyal and balanced. He's quiet, but sometimes has to help Reno if he gets into a fight he can't handle.

Sounds like a version of the Tough Talking Street Kid stereotype to me; as a character, seems pretty balanced as long as the negative aspects of the Bad Boy archetype are used as well as the positive ones. I'm rather fond of the concept of a dragon as an opposite complement rather than as a similar supplement; there aren't any canon examples of this, but I can see that working. How did he learn martial arts if he smokes/drinks/isn't very reliable? Since you've given him a second major skill, repairing things, maybe it would be better if he carried some sort of projectile weapon: useful, and less likely to get the bearer beaten up.

Name: Rua Makroik
Personality traits: Shy, introverted, slightly short tempered.
Draconium influences: Orange primary, blue, light blue, and red secondary.

Bio: Born middle-class in Mid-City. Mother with position in a large corporations (Not Words, though.). Father bank manager. She never really expects to amount to anything more than just an average city dweller.
One day, her dad refused a loan to the head of the Earth's Bones corporation (specialising in brown gear) on the grounds that he had borrowed too much and hadn't payed any of it back. Unbeknownst to him, said person was the head of a Brown Dragon cult aiming to find and resurrect the ancient dragon, Rokyorsox. That night Rua came home (after having a run-in with a bunch of wild dragons and sort of saved by another dragon) and found her home razed to the ground with her parents quite obviously very very dead. Message? Don't Mess With Us. Unfortunatly her anger clouded her better judgement.

Occupation: Racer/Reluctant Vigilante (Word hired her to take out the Earth's Bones co. becuase they're business rivals in the gear market)
Abilities: Somewhat good at martial arts, but more adept in just plain beating an opponenet around the head with a mallet/jakk stick/whatever's handy.
Physical appearence: Sort of tan skin (Whatever colour skin a person from Mid City would have). Ginger hair (Not very remarkable). Green eyes. She's not very skinny (in our terms: lean-ish) but she's sort of tall (but not taller than other people like Pyrrah or Marianis). She wears orange-blue for normal clothes, and black when she's Word's little mecenary.
Role in story: Somewhat protaganist.

Dragon: Premoshun
Attributes: Telepathy, Intelligence, Jumping
Born into the Prophets crew, but kicked out by Propheci for being not entirely 100% Orange Dragon (his father was blue). Has more sense than Rua, doesn't hesitate to pint it out, but she just NEVER LISTENS. Is telepathic.

Rokyorsox? That name makes me giggle. I'm assuming parody?

The origin story is somewhat angsty, but I think the dramatic plot elements present make it fine; I know I felt quite interested in it. The skills appear balanced, but if she has a telepathic dragon runaway and is talented enough for Word to think her worth hiring to take out a Shadowy Cult o' Evil then I find it hard to believe she ever thought of herself as an average city dweller.

Your evil cult leader's actions don't make complete sense if he didn't warn her father first; if it was the loan he really wanted rather than a chance for random violence, threats first might have helped him more than the further cost no doubt incurred in using the private army to raze a home. But if he's trying to bring back a dragon with a name like that I seriously doubt his intelligence.

Actually the story's only in the developmental stage. These are ideas.

Word might pick her, not becuase of skills, but becuase he needs a pawn who is unskill-

Crap. Major rewrite underhead.

He DID warn him, but bank managers get that guff ALL THE TIME (or so methinks) and if they've threatened and never carried out, what chance is there that he'd believe them?

Yep. He's all 'Let's bring back this dragon and use it to take over the world!' What he doesn't know is that it won't go like that at all.

Which (now I think about that) is why Word uses her to take them out. They'll catch her, use her to channel the Rokyorsox, and then everything will go crazy nuts mad...
MARTHA STEWART: And that's a good thing!

ah shoot XD thought I would have a clean state with my character without those "mary-sues" but oh well! XD thanks so much for giving a great critique on my character.

you know, I was just thinking about that because its very true,the human is very complicated and in different enviroments, the character would change what its supposely supposed to do. I often get ahead of myself and just write down her whole life story, so defintely stick to the main traits and the rest is for the reader to find out.

Partly true, the character is defintely like me and most of my fears and flaws in life are failure and not to be hurt. In a sense though, I like to base some of my fears/flaws to my characters so that way I can understand why I'm afraid or remember the flaws from the past and prevent them from happening again.

Oh! that's very interesting, I should check out that website but I found this name from a different site called "20000-names.com" just google that and you'll come across it. Uhhh...whoops! I think I spelled the last name wrong haha! the name I used was 'Rahn' but in here its 'Rhan' (under girl names) which means 'fate' in welsh. Should I change it or leave it? I should just probably leave it but kinda like the meaning of 'Rhan' better.

whoo boy do I need some fix that up! I think I put too much of a personality on her XD or I should of defined more of why is she a kid at heart. The reason I put it there because even though she is 'technically' an adult, she still likes to play little kid toys (like the remote controlled dragon toy) and act like a 'big kid'. She tends to get annoying because of her laid back and jokesy attitude and smiling with a cheek or smirk grin. Hmmm I think I'll leave out the sarcasm because I don't want her to be put up as wise crackin kid, just points out the obvious sometimes and adds a few funny remarks. I thought about the putting "inventive" instead of imaginative because I was thinking she could have this unique-ness of inventing cool things.

Thanks! I like for her to do some manual labor because she needs to do something! though she would like to sleep all day and just space off but needs to practice her focusing when she is racing and fighting...alot of practice haha XD

boy I wish I did! but sadly I don't remember well and never done a family history project...well maybe when I was younger but can't recall XD

Yes yes, very understandable. I'm still working out the details of her family line and I wish I could devote my time to do this but sadly, school gets in the way so I'll put that off for now.

Thank you Sarah! I will defintely make some minor changes to my character and I'm trying not to make her too major so she has alot of cameos of just talking, a few scenes fighting along side the dragon booster and then alot just of her crew and powers ;) again thanks!

Hee! I have quiet a few OCs, but their mostly background characters

Name:Sendancy Stone
Occupation: Elite class Racer
Personality traits: Good natured and is very sucessful at keeping her head at all times. Thrill Seeker, and stubborn on the path
Origin: WorkTown
Build: Broad shouldered and muscular (and thus frightening to many males because she looks like she can break them in half). Body builder, but not scary body builder--no hernias for her!

Draconium Influances:
Primary: Green
Secondary: White, Blue

Bio: Sendancy grew up in worktown with her parents, living on the job litterally. At a young age she started helping them out by doing illegal, but useful things. She could crawl up into the tunnels and acess hatches and inbetween pipes easily--despite child protection laws. Out of nesscity she became strong in order to haul herself up by only her hands, and to wrench free nuts and bolts When she got too big for such work she still helped out, readily trotting after anyone, and fearless of 'heavy' or dangerous work.

Because of this fearlessness (which it isn't--she just reasons that she can keep herself from being hurt) she became involved with dragons. Good reflexes and a strong body let her get near angry dragons and use the gear to get them down. Or use a staff to push them away from the professionals. The job, when it was available, payed better than worktown, and to fill in the gaps between those times, she took up racing--and wouldn't let anyone tell her what a bull-class dragon could, or couldn't do.

Currently she's an Elite class racer for Sytar Sky Stables and Racing. And because of her stubborness on the path, she and her dragon often get injured, because she makes her dragon use Areo and Sleding gear.

Using her strength and body weight she wrenches them on course, and has run them into buildings, other racers, and yanked her arm out of the socket as often as she loop-de-loops.

Dragon:
Buldyr: Green Bull-class dragon, bred off of her orginal dragon to have stronger White Draconium power


hmn...


Name: Avyrnc Myner
Occupation: Draconium Miner
Personality Traits: Desprete, loyal, sneaky. Occasionally a show off
Origin: Mining colony of Dyshar Mountain.
Build: Short, Voluptous to the point of being a little chunky

Draconium Influances:
Primary: White
Seconadry: Brown, Black

Bio: Born in a mining cololy for Paynn Inc, Grew up there, lives there, works there. She knows every rock, crack, and draconium vein there, it's her home more than most people's homes are their homes. They mine draconium and get to keep a portion of it to sell to the highest bidder, the rest goes to Paynn for a predertermined price. The mountain and mine were actually used in anchinet days for mining and forging draconium, every now and then they come upon anchient forging and digging gear.

Unfortunetly, they can't use it, their dragons aren't pure enough, so it gets sold to the highest bidder, or stripped and used for repairs. Despite being productive, since they are so far from any city at all supplies, repairs, and replacements are hard to come by and terribly expensive--Paynn certainly doesn't help with the upkeep.

All their dragons are mongrels, because they are short staffed all the dragons need to be able to multitask with high level mineing gear. The Major colors are White, and Brown--they no longer are able to forge on their own, alter, yes, new gear completely? No. And more vibrant colors are dangerous since the HighDrags would see them against the snow and eat them.

Dragon:
Name: Skhee
Color: White
Class: Snowshoe
Description: A white dragon very reminiscent of a Earth Kangaroo in body structure. her gait, while walking is rocking and bound to make you sea-sick. While running, or rather jumping, it is very very smooth. She has a beak so she can crack the ice. Her coloring is asymetrical redish blotches turning into brown.

Gear:
Altered: Sleding, entrenching, and areo gear
Normal: Mining, rappel, and Thrusting gear
A lot of lugarge packs.

On to my second OC; Sighfur. I have typed a different bio of her and thought this would be more "easier" for Minerva and on my part XD I still have the "ancient black warriors" in mind but that is something that will reveal in time.


Name: Sighfur
Sibling: Minerva
Age: 25
Occupation: Elite class racer
Personality Traits: A very experienced and determined racer, has wisdom she shares to her younger sibling. She can be insensitive at times, but to those she chooses to be close to her understand her emotions.

Origin: ShadowTown

Draconium Influences: Primary-Black; Secondary- White, green, and purple

Bio: Sighfur and Minerva were born in "almost forgotten Shadow Town." Their family are a little above middle-class so their income is pretty minium but why do they live there? Their father works as an engineer for one of the magma-electric plants and their mother does mostly laborer work. Sighfur didn't mind getting her hands dirty and helping out at their parents jobs, but she wanted a bigger sense of purpose and longed to race. At age 19, she moved to Mid-city to do what she always wanted to do: race! whatever it takes to be in the Elite class. Six years have passed, now she is one of the few and proud elite class racers. Sighfur is living in Mid-City, and helping out her younger sister since their parents want best for her. One elite racer, one street racer add that up you get...well nothing really XP

Positive Bio: Sighfur cares very much for her younger sister, but doesn't hesitate to throw something at her just to get her attention. Being in the Elite class has gain her some recognition to other crew members and a little about her new crew, "The Gung-Ho Dragons"
Negative Bio: She doesn't give her concerns to other racers/ or crew members, when a goal is set in front of her she will not stop for anything till she achieves it. Not a "touchy-feely" person if someone is in her "personal space" she gets annoyed quickly and starts to get uncomfortable. Quite agressive also, when she/or her sister feels threatened, she takes action to stop her foe.

Appearance: olive/little darker tan skin. Tall and a bit muscular built; wears a black, purple and red racing uniform with a jacket. Hair is long and black; part of her hair covers her right eye and the bangs are straight up.

Role in the story: She and Minerva are secondary minor characters that keep a watchful eye on Dragon Booster; help if needed. Mostly training her sister, racing in Sun-city and keeping her enemies from attacking crew members. She has a silent demeanor.

Dragon: Peist
Bone color: Black
Attributes: intelligence, speed, and Psi

Peist was Sighfur's first dragon and has stuck beside her ever since. Their bond is strong and can sense any presence of a man or dragon, he is much like Sighfur and doesn't show much emotions..only those that are close understand him.

Cool!

Is this OC regarding characters from fan fiction? By the way, what's OC stands for?

OC stands for other character. ;)

Or "original" character, which is perhaps slightly more accurate, reflecting that these characters are created by the authors rather than by others ("original").

Nemi, I like both your Sendancy and your Avyrnc; I'm especially interested by the environment you've imagined for the latter. Needless to say, not Sues at all, and the image of the green dragon flying through the air with Aero gear is pretty damned cool. ^_^ From where is Avyrnc's name derived? I can only get "Avernic" from it and for some reason I'm just itching to turn that into "Acerbic"/"Acyrbc". And considering the fact of many female Crew-leaders and a world where dragon size is what matters a lot more than gender differences, I'm not quite sure men would be intimidated by a large woman on the DB world--then again, considering the size of most canon women, I guess so.

Minerva, Sighfur seems old enough to have the competence of an Elite racer, which is good; you haven't explained the reason why this character wants to keep an eye on the Dragon Booster, though (which is probably necessary--is she a fangirl of his? A misteryious protector? Stalker?). I don't know where you thought up the name of her dragon from; it doesn't feel familiar to me as an Earth object or as Commonish Generic Fantasy Name. Also, the "buries her emotions bar to those who are close" is just a little bit of a Sue cliche. Most people only confide certain things to those close to them; it doesn't make them particularly angsty or cold.

Just an offer here, 'cause I'm bored...I'll try and draw people's OCs if anyone wants me too. Just PM me because I don't want this thread to get all spamed up by people only typing 'Yes'.

Avyrnc Myner: Miner is obvious. Avyrnc, simple tom riddle thing, Cavyrn. Her name is Cavern Miner.

Dyshar Mountain is vaguely inside the gold draconium Empire range (before it went world wide), and some people say it's where Green and Brown dragons first evolved.

Dyshar is very cold and snowy, so they need White dragons to blend into the snow--but they also need red dragons to melt the draconium out of some crevices (miner gear is bigger, stronger, and carries a better charge than normal gear--and it just uses more draconium rather than alot of gray.). And everyone's dragon needs a little red to use heating gear. unfortunetly all the red has practically been bred out, so someone has to go somewhere and get a red dragon gene donner, while getting heavy repairs and replacements. That will be Avyrnc and Skhee.

They have Hydrags in the caves, and HighDrags in the skies. They are much smaller snake things with wings that hunt in packs. Prirannahs of the skies--hence the need for camo. They can't mag blast on their own, but they are in groups of five or more so they can gestalt their megar energies to mag jump themselves up to flying hight.

Avyrnc is chunky because it's cold, and fat insulates. Skhee is some sort of Rabbit Kangaroo Wallaby Dragon beastie who's full speed is slower than the average dragon, but faster than say cyrano, but can maintain it for days, litterally. Of course has incredible jumping prowless (can and will jump over other dragons mid race) and unmatched experiance and skill with white sleding gear. She can control it with her altered Areo gear (they don't dare use it the normal way because of the highdrags) and her altered brown entrenching gear.

Sarah Frost,Apr 22 2006, 05:20 AM]

Very good! yea I thought being around that age was good enough to be in the elite instead of some snot-nosed little 16 year old brat saying "I'm like super special! lookit all my powerz!!" XDDDDDD

no no no no! no fangirl..at all! hahahaha XD I'm still working it out but a new threat is kinda stalking around and she is making sure that the "enemy" won't interfere with the Dragon Booster's affairs (keeping the city safe etc etc) I don't know so still working that out :)

Actually, Peist are Irish sea dragons. A common elaboration is when St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, he imprisoned these dragons in the sea. I know it doesn't seem that fantasy-ish but I could work around with that like "Pyist" or something. Let me know what you think of that name some more :)

Right! Sighfur doesn't really come out as an angsty or cold person. The reason why she doesn't show her emotions is because she feels that it is better to use body language, and are all good ways to get feelings across without having to spell out your emotions.

Let's se mine

Name: Jhanus Ghemins
Personality traits: Reckless, bold and misterious
Draconium influences:

Bio:
No body knows true Jhanus identity or the real look of this misterious Rider, the few facts that are knows is that Work under Silvanna Diamath's command, and is one of the best Riders of Draconia City. Jhanus has the reputation to be bold and reckless in races but this misterious racer has fame to be fair.

Strengths: Acrobatics, martial art, agility, team work, races.

Occupation: Rider, Trouble maker

Dragon: Eclypse
Dragon Attributes: She's totally loyal to her Rider and cares a lot Jhanus. She also is rude.

Why am I the only person commenting on OCs here? :P

You haven't included enough detail on him/her for a proper judgment, Airshadow. I'd say they sound fairly Sueish from the mystery, impressive talents, and fairness on top of that, but if they're in the role of unsympathetic antagonist they might get away with it. Try to give Jhanus some fault, though, even if that isn't disclosed, and no, recklessness doesn't count unless it actually harms them in some fashion.

Because you (a) started the topic and (b ) are known for dissecting characters?

indubitably :D

* EDIT

Ok I was just kiddin ;D but Sarah is right, we need to honestly give out comments to other people's characters! That was the whole point of putting up this topic right? so we can discuss the OCs and how they fit into the Dragon Booster world. So I shall go first and say about my characters :D

Sarah did a real good deep critique on my characters! I read what she pointed out and responded to her comments with postive points, I don't think Minerva Rahn will be any less of a sue so I'll just go with that, and make sure she doesn't appear as a total sue. As for my other character Sighfur, she has the competance to be an elite racer (which is very good!) you can read my characters in the later posts here.

As for the others, probably most of yours need some work (I like your character Kay Yasha but I think he's a little too stereotypical much like Sarah said but you got the right idea) but I really like Nemi-nen characters! feels like they are really in that world :D so hope to see more bios of her characters (if she has anymore hehe)

I got a couple of more characters I will be introducing (both are the bad guys hehe)

Got just one question for ya guys: One of my characters is actually from the Purple Draconium Empire, and much like the The Army of the Dragon crew...this crew is much more elite and military actioned, think that fits in well? just asking cause much of the purple empire is not said and it would help me alot if someone can make like a little bio about it =) thanks

UPDATE: June 24th

Human: Alecksandyr (Aleck, for short)
Personality traits: Caring, determined
Draconium influences: None

Bio: Aleck was born in a small town about 2 hours drive from Dragon City. Under his parents' and uncle's tutorship, Aleck learn some martial art skills and dragon riding skills when he was only seven. When Aleck is fifteen, his hometown was attacked by a mysterious group of dragon riders. Aleck fought alongside with his parents valiantly but his parents were killed by the leader of the army, while Aleck was rescued by his uncle, Lokke. Aleck and his sister, Danielle, fled the besieged town with Lokke to his uncle's home in Mid-City. Aleck is determned to exact revenge for the destruction of his hometown and his parents' death.

Strengths: Martial arts, agile, good in computers
Weaknesses: Can be furious, sometimes depressed
Weapon of Choice: Altered flashsticks, later Mag Staff


Dragon: Sygurd
Bone colour: Grey

Bio: Sygurd was a biologically-engineered clone of the original Beau. He was created as a Berserker Dragon by the Shadow Overlord during the early period of the D-H War for one purpose; to destroy the DoL. Noticing its uncontrollable behaviour, the Shadow Overlord takes this advantage by unleashing Sygurd in neutral territory near to the Gold Draconium Empire's territory. As a result, many innocent people and dragons were killed by the rampaging dragon. Eventually, Sygurd did meet with the DoL himself. An ensuing showdown occurs as both dragons engage in a grueling and brutal duel. Although badly wounded and exhausted, the DoL managed to defeat and subdue the rampaging dragon. He even turned Sygurd to the good side by creating and placing a gold collar around his neck to stabilise his berserker form. Before the foundation of the Dragon Booster, Sygurd sacrificed himself to save Beau from the Shadow Overlord, leaving him frozen in pure solid grey draconium for millenias. Until now...

Descrption (Normal form): Since he's a clone of the original Beau, he have similar physical appearances as the DoL, but minus the fins on his legs and under his chin. His skin colour are mainly metallic silver and red. There are also black streaks running across his sides. He also wears a gold collar around his neck. But if the gold collar is removed...

Description (Berserker form): This is the outcome when the gold collar was removed. He has saber-like fangs running down from his upper jaw, sharper-than-usual teeth and blood-red eyes. The horn on his head is much longer and sharper than usual. Spikes protruding from along his spine and on his shoulders. His tail is quite bony and at the tip of his tail is a spade-shaped club. His skin colours are black and grey, with gold streaks on his legs and along his back.

Strengths: Agility, endurance, martial arts
Weaknesses: Uncontrollable berserker form, feeling guilty for his past crimes

There! Done and dusted!

Okay, name is okay I suppose but it makes me a teeny bit wary considering where Beau's name comes from.

What is the Way of the Hunter, what are the motives, and the training? All have impact on OC v Mary Sue delibrations

Mind speach makes me VERY VERY WARY. Also, so he lies openly to his friends about other friends? And he's open with strangers and shutmouth with his friends? Why, cause as stated it doesn't make sence.

And Batons? or do you mean staffs? What are stun batons? Making up new weapons is kinda bad.

Okay...SILVER? How and why? I'm inventing a new color of draconium for my fic--it doesn't have a color. It's described as graywhiteish, not silver, and has no powers at all--it absorbs power, but can't hold it. Anydragon with that for bones would die--theroretically.

So what's with silver? What does it do, abilities? Well? It's on the edge of Sue. Your draconium is oppisit of Gold, and considering he probably gave OrgiBeau a fight, near equal to Gold. So Oppisit and Equal/Powerful. While mine has the defects of being dangerous and bad for your health, oppisit and powerless. See how I contract the inherant sueness of a new color?

Why not just go gray? Gray turns colors against each other, is already oppisit of gold. (gold = balance, gray (or atleast altered gray) = imbalance). To keep up his cool factor and downgrade the sueness, you could have him as the first altered gray dragon, and helped infect the other grays.

Oh, and "red and streaks of black" what's that mean?

Biiig problem. Big big problem here.

Mind Speach+disturbed mind. think about it.

Should I add some of my others chars?

as Silvanna, Elsie or Ramius?

why not?

I appreciate your comments, Nemi. As you can see, I placed a "*" at some of my characters' info, which means they are subject to change. To respond to some of your comments:

1. The "Way of the Hunter" here refers to the culture and norms of the Dragon Hunters, mercenaries from the D-H War. I'll edit Aleck's bio.

2. As you notice, there is a possible change in Aleck's weaknesses. But since you commented on it, I'll make some changes. The stun baton that Aleck uses is a cross between a police baton and a taser. The baton will generate small volts of electricity, stunning anyone who come into contact with it. The electricity may not be strong enough to knock a person out, but that function goes to the baton itself.

3. Grey=imbalance? Gosh, I didin't know that! Thanks for the info, Nemi. I'll change it. By the way, what does this imbalance term implies to? Draconium or behaviour? And what impact does it make?

4. Hm, yes, I understand what you mean. I may be no psychology student, but I know what's the consequences...

Not a problem BB.

I think the Gray Draconium empire acted as mercenaries during the war, you'll have to check my cannon on that, though, or maybe it was purple. White empire constantly changed sides though.

Hmn...But Dragon Booster already has Flashsticks. And you do recall what people do with Mag energy? Channel it through their bodies. And a Quotable Quote: "Energy is Energy." So I'd go with altered flashsticks.

And the correct name for policeman batons (the ones with the three ends) is Tonfa.

Well the imbalance is extrapolated. Beau turned Libris to good by balancing his draconium energy, which he got from everyone else. Red, Blue, Black, Green, focused togetehr for gold. While in the magma draconis a gray dragon is pictured in the middle of the page, and at each cornner is a dragon, red, black, blue green. Gray has the power to turn all colors of draconium against themselves.

Also, Gold dragons can use any color gear. And Gray gear works on any color dragon. See?

And Gray might be that way naturally, or it could be like Rivitt said, altered with Black draconium.

As to behavior, you remember how crazy libris was.

So perhaps you want to get rid of the mind speach, maybe replace it with anchient orange gear--if you want to keep the talking. Since the Prophets used to be pro-dragonbooster, their older gear wouldn't logically have been forcing gear.

O-okay. By the looks of it, I think that my OCs may need more modification than I thought. Anyway, for your information, Nemi, here's what I initially planned:


1. Sygurd can communicate with Aleck only and not to other humans through mind speech. But if I were to let him use orange gear, won't he be able to talk to all humans and not just Aleck alone?

2. The "Dragon Hunter thingy as mercenaries" will be a small party, not an entire mercenary empire.

3. I first thought that having stun batons are cool. But since you mentioned about altered flashsticks, are they similar to stun batons? How do they work?

4. I may introduce new gears that are quite powerful than the current ones, ranging from Advanced Mind Control gears to Mag-inhibiting gears, and from Deflector Shield gears to even new weapon gears.

5. Sygurd's berserker form tends to be his more unstable form while his normal form will be more stable, thanks to the gold collar around his neck (and the idea of grey=imbalance, thanks!).


I hope that some of my ideas can be retained without much changes. Otherwise, I can only make those changes after my examination.

I guess that they somehow are a bit ssue

Whatever human he decides to use it on, and only one at a time, and only if they are on his back. Of course, it could be special gear. That is it's Specific Gear, for s Specific Helmet, that Aleck Specifically has.

This works in your favour so you can have Aleck cut the connection when Sygurd goes crazy, a built in circut breaker or something special in the helmet.

And, if gives you another plot line for having the whatever stolen, or better yet, it was cut because Sygurd went bezerk and they need to fix it. So they can't talk anymore until they do. "Wow boy, never really knew how lucky I was to be able to talk." blah

Just remember, pick an empire, don't make up a new one. Or, they could be left overs from some awol group who mutinied or whatever. *brain can't find the right word*

They are the blueish things with the lens on top you see in the show. They give a flash of light that dazes you. One was used against Beau by moordryd in the Choosing. This gives him a greater stun range, but he can flashstick himself.

What you can do, is say because they are smaller and altered they can't carry as much as a charge and aren't as strong, so he has to wait for the opertune moment when he's sure he won't miss.

Be VERY VERY VERY careful here. I invented ONE new Uber-gear, and it's one of a kind, and I'm attaching all sorts of penalties to it (it doesn't come off for one thing). Mag inhibiting gear already exists, it's black control gear. (fits on the dragons limbs and keeps them from moving, has a side effect of making it so they can't mag stuff)

Mind control sounds like Wraith or Forcing gear.

Deflector sheild gear sounds like the light green gear there was an episode about, and the light blue look alike gear that malfunctioned.

Weapon gear, depending on the type, may or maynot be illegal, more so in the city than in the countryside where you have to defend yourself.

If the gear is stronger it might also be illegal to use in some races. Parm couldn't play drag ball because he had the wrong entrenching gear, likewise, elite gear probably isn't allowed on all city tracks. Who knows what down city races will allow though since they aren't legal.

As a note, stop thinking 'Stronger' and start thinking 'diffrent.'

Like, you can invent level 10 White Areo gear that lets you do crazy stunts and stay in the air longer. Or you can say there's level 5 White Manuvering Tail gear. Which acts as an extra, smaller set of wings on the tail of the dragon so they can stay up in the air longer and use it as a rudder. And it's basically useless without areo gear.

You want war gear that's not anchient? Say Red fire spitting gear (doesn't exist btw)? Well that'd be hard to get legally. So why not take--I for get the name of it, but it's a gear for your dragon to drink from, anyways, take it to someplace to have it altered (you don't want Aleck to be a genius too like Parm, and powerful, it gets suey).

Now your hydro pack is pressurized. And you have some thrusting gear. Well add something on your thrusting gear to extend where the flame comes out from--making it useless as thrusting gear, and mag it to your hydro pack. Fill your pressurized hydro pack with Petrol. Voila, dragon flame thrower.

You're welcome. Anything to prevent a new color from being invented.

Luck to you! Also to do Quotes like I and most people do and not all in one chunk at the begining it's

For

Bold tags and such go INSIDE the Quotes

Name: Jestyr
Personality traits: see bio
Draconium influences: purple
secondary influences: light green and white

Bio: Jestyr is an immature, smart-mouth, sarcastic racer. She tends to act very childishly when she doesn't get her way and sulks until someone pays attention to her. Jestyr is blunt and a shameless flirt who was born into a middle class family but her parents abandoned her and her older brother, Wyked. Wyked and Jestyr were taken in by the Dragon's Luck crew where they were raised and eventually Jestyr was put in charge because she was the old leader's favorite. Suddenly forced to become responsible Jestyr struggles to learn how to manage money and treat people with the proper respect, this is quite hard for her as she tends to be crude and irresponsible preferring to be lazy and slack-off; however she does have good people skills and always seems to know what to say to a specific person. She truly is a compassionate and intelligent person but because of her childish behavior and rude tendencies she tends to rub people the wrong way into thinking she is someone she is not. Jestyr is easily annoyed and easily annoys more serious and upright people, she doesn't like to have authority questioned and she hates it when people assume something about her even though she does the same thing to other people. She is a real goofball. Jestyr is a hopeless romantic who is convinced that every crush is true love and is a pessimist although she remains upbeat and cheery almost all the time. She spends her free time and most of the time she is supposed to be working daydreaming and pranking.

Positive Bio: Jestyr recently became the leader of a lesser known, not-so-skilled crew. She is trying her best to responsibly handle the little money the crew has had left. Jestyr has several loyal followers who are her close friends. The friends she does have are very loyal.

Negative Bio: The opposite side of this story is Jestyr's not-so-skilled crew is falling apart and practically living in the streets. She and her brother don't get along at all, Jestyr hates her brother and yet at the same time can't stand to see him ever get hurt because he is all the family she has yet. Jestyr is naive and has no common sense and several of her crewmates have recognized this and have tried to upsurp her power because of this. While Jestyr may have very loyal friends and usually gets along with people she is distrustful to the point of being paranoid.

Strengths: Excellent with gear, good with people, she is good with children and animals(she has a soft spot for them), handles pressure well, and Jestyr is a decent medic.

Weaknesses: Jestyr is sloppy and lazy, naive, easily disillusioned, very prideful, unwilling to accept help, almost unfeeling about death, using people, and gory sights yet overemotional about pretty much everything else, and seen as immature and stupid.

Occupation: Leader of the Dragon's Luck crew
Abilities: Can fix most problems with gear, creative problem solver, has a good sense of humor, clever enough to get by, and a decent racer -not the best but not the worst- but other wise shes pretty much useless. Her people skills are pretty much what keeps her in power.
Physical appearance: Jestyr is cute but not beautiful, she has orange-ish hair pulled back into a ponytail and a full face. The only beautiful thing about her is that she has a rosebud mouth and girly curves. Otherwise Jestyr is more towards the cute side, she has blue eyes which always look naive and lost and freckles. She does not have the athletic build that all the other racers seem to have and because I don't know how to describe what she wears, here's a link to her picture.
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u215/I_...hute/Jestyr.png
Age: 19
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 117 lbs.
Role in story: Main character

Dragon: Cheshire
Bone color: purple
Dragon Attributes: Cheshire is a trickster who is willing to use anyone but his rider, he is clever but not intelligent, reckless, and tends to be a goofball.

I know she seems really sueish and I'd love if you guys could help me sort that out.

The new unknown Crew is a Sueish thing, but it sounds quirky enough to get a pass. What really makes the character seem Sueish is the contradictions in her personality: "crude" and "rude tendencies" but with "good people skills" and "always knowing what to say"? "Compassionate and intelligent" but "hopeless romantic" who assumes things about people? "Naive" and a "pessissmist" who "remains upbeat and cheery"? You need to simplify this, and make some choices. Even though people are well-rounded and in the course of a story characters might not give into their flaws under certain circumstances, being able to lay out a non-contradicting personality in a profile shows you what their flaws really are and how strongly they have them.

Ok, here's one that's still in the back of my mind, but you know.... still there and all that... ah... herm.... ok, whatever, here's the profile, bio or whatever.

Name: Nemysis
Gender: Male
Species: Guess
Age: God knows
Height: Tall
Weight: Heavy
Occupation: EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D
Favourite pastime: EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favourite book: 101 ways to be...EVIL!!!!!!!!
Favourite food: EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erm, no wait... cookies. (choc chip. Give him oatmeal and he turns nasty)
Favourite colour: HOT pink. (preferably evil)
Primary draconium influence: BLACK!!!!!!! (how unexpected!)
Secondary draconium influence: Red, blue and EVIL!!!!!!!!
Skills: Drawing, mag-claw and being EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attributes: Being EVIL!!!!!!!
Personality: EVIL!!!!!!!!
Appearance: Nemysis always dresses in a black suit of armour tinged with pink. On his armour is a pink Dragon Eye symbol. His voice sounds a bit like Dr. Evil’s (Austin Powers fans will know what I’m talking about) and he always carries a pink, fluffy-handled energy drain whip.
Background: Nemysis is an ancient warrior dude from a few thousand years ago who joined in the fight against the original Dragon Booster. Unfortunately, using cookies as a lure, Dragon Booster trapped Nemysis and his dragon Evilfro in a giant maze thingy. They stayed there for ages until some little brat chucked his oatmeal cookies off a building and they landed in his maze. He was so ticked off that his eye almost popped, and he managed to escape using a mag technique.
Now him and Evilfro are BACK, and they want to kill Artha and co, and me as well, because I am there, huggling Moordryd.

Dragon: Evilfro
Bone colour: Black
Attributes: Being able to grow an afro, jumping and mag moves.

Yeah, as you can guess, it’s a parody. I’m probably going to start it when I finish my Word Parody. However, I’m none too happy about Evilfro’s name. If you could suggest a new one and run some errors past me that’d be great. (Yeah, I know it’s a pretty small profile, but I am feeling really lazy right now and descriptive profiles have never been my strong point.)
And just a question; if Mary-Sues are always perfect characters, then is it possible to have an evil Mary-Sue?

Yes. Villains are meant to be more powerful than heroes, so you get a lot more leeway there (hero!Sues suck because we're supposed to wonder how they're going to achieve things), but if they're just too cardboard-talented then it still counts. Also, if they're only UberBadass, VictimOfTrajikPast or SekritlyRight rather than an actual antagonist we're supposed to loathe, it's much more likely. Author favouritism causes Mary-Sues, and arguments like "omgshe'snotperfect!She'swaytoofeistybutisn'tthatliketotallycool!" don't make a character an automatic non-Sue.

Name: Merri

Personality traits: Strong-willed, determined

Age: Twenty-six. One thousand, five-hundred and twenty-six if you count the time she was imprisoned.

Draconium influences: Primary is Purple, secondary influences are Green, Orange and Red

Bio: Merri was born into the Dragon-Human War to two humans in the Purple Draconium Empire. Her elder brother, Skornn, died in battle shortly after her birth, and her mother became protective of her to the point Merri was imprisoned in her own home. Merri grew up being equally over-protective of the people she cared for but somehow passed over her dragon when it came her affections. Merri was twenty-two when she was trapped in the Shadow Track due to her rashness. She was freed recently but has no will to live in the reality she has awoken to.

Positive Bio: Merri loves her fellow humans strongly and strives to protect them from danger and harm. She's all about protecting the weak, the children, the helpless and the precious (to her).

Negative Bio: Merri's emotions sometimes get the best of her. Whether it's rage, love or depression, when let loose Merri's emotions are extreme and sometimes crippling. She tends to be a bit of a control-freak on the on and off the battlefield, not realizing she's just repeating what her mother was (over-protective to the point when one's freedom is severely restricted). Merri also tends to feel for dragons a lot less than she does humans, but the dragon who really counts in her life is patient. Merri can be as weak as she is strong when emotions come into play, but her lack of emotional control is often present these days.

Strengths: Skilled in battle, leadership, and is very loving; possessed a strong-will (before the Shadow Track and today)

Weaknesses: Over-protective, severe lack of emotional control (lately), tends to be rash when goaded about her mother; easily attached to humans of frequent appearances; weak-willed as of late

Occupation: Used to be a squadron leader and Dragon Hunter during times of war but now, because she has to feed herself and her dragon, she works for the scum of Down-City doing their dirty work.

Abilities: Merri, when emotionally in control, is a leader. Merri's abilities lie in leading, giving speeches, protecting and planning

Physical appearance: Merri is Caucasian, stands at 5' 4" and is sinewy with few womanly curves. She wore armor that is considered ancient in today's Dragon City and because of all the offers to buy it (and attempts to steal it), she now wears black, non-descript clothing.

Role in story: Main character. Merri's been freed from the Shadow Track but everyone she knew is gone forever. The world isn't at war anymore and as a warrior her skills aren't very useful in today's Dragon City. Merri doesn't know it but she's on a quest to find a reason for living in this strange new world in which she is alone--not realizing her reason for living is always beside her.

Dragon: Dysmmal
Dragon Attributes: Sensative of his rider's emotions, intelligence, speed, magging and jumping
Personality: Dysmmal is patient, caring and understanding. His main concern is always his rider, Merri.

... Hey! My main character is Merri but she's emo and the dragon's name is Dysmmal but he's not emo at all. Huh. :plot:

Name: Sarah maria penn
nicknamed: squirt (mostly by her father)
gender: female
age: 7
height: 3 feet tall
draconium: gold/red
Fav food: draconiyum bars (obsessed)
loves playing vid games (naturally good at it)
personality: hot headed (never thinks before she acts), strong willed, shy when it comes to brand new people. But she's confident in her dragon racing like her mother and Brags alot.

Dragon: Beau jr
age: 7
Gender: male
height: 4 feet tall
draconium: gold
Fav food: draconiyum bars
loves playing vid games along with sarah
Personality: Very proud, has a strong mind of own, Jokes alot (mostly makin fun of how small she is), loves burping contests with his dad.

Bio: she was born after the second dragonhuman war. Daughter of kitt wann and artha penn also known as dragon booster and fire booster. But the dragon human war will be kept secret from her until she is ready to persue her own destiny along with her father. But right now she helps out her mother and father set up the gear for their elite class races.
She rides beaus son beau jr. Beau jr is learning the ropes from his dad he is also 7 years old but can't control his mag very well so theres alot of accidents but he will soon improve.
They have no idea about the dragon human war.
Together they make a good but clumsy team.
But there is new evil afoot so they will know their destiny soon enough and with her mother and father and the team they will stop it!

http://sailormuffin.deviantart.com/art/art...ughter-67276672