Here's your thread, Bruce.

Mace,
what do the letters TMEMOITW stand for?

OK Mace1999, We're waiting...

This is Bruce's thread, but I'll answer your question this time:

TMEMOITW = THE MOST EFFECTIVE MISSIONARY ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD*

*As Gary Aluisy (aka Pastor Tree) characterized GGWO after doing a "study" comparing it with the Southern Baptists, announced at a Convention 1992 lunch rap with CHS presiding. There was no disputing this statement by anyone in attendance. And a wonderful time was had by all.

Yeah,
and the balogna wasn't just between two slices of bread either.
:lol:

Thanks Mace...
New Kid...just logged out..wanted to say thanks. Nothing surprising another big fish small pond story.... :)

Quote: 'TMEMOITW = THE MOST EFFECTIVE MISSIONARY ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD'

You think this presumptuous and inaccurate? Was it also presumptuous when the (12) spies came back when only (2), Joshua & Caleb said, let us go up at once we are more than able. The (10) spies gave an honest report when they saw the giants and said they were grasshoppers in their own sight as well as the sons of Anak. They gave an evil report! Was the little ruddy shepherd boy David also presumptuous to think that he could take on that giant Goliath, who along with the Philistines defied the armies of the living God? Do you even know the God you say you serve?

I say TMEMOITW was a statement of great faith that trusts in the living God in the midst of those that would say, 'we are as grasshoppers'. You can mock as the (10) spies did, but they did not make it into the promised land.

Guest300,

GGWO isn't in the Bible. Carl Stevens isn't David. He isn't Noah. Stop trying to equate your cult with people in the Bible. You're doing this to try and lend some sort of legitimacy to your cult. Being critical of Carl and GGWO is not in any way being critical of God or God's work.

GGWO is not God. It's a cult.

Thank you!

Guest,

They are all sinners just like you and me. That is the kind of people that God chooses, weak, frail sinners. Do you know why chump? So God can make His strength perfect in their weakness and Christ can be magnified in their mortal bodies. Chew on that cud for awhile, dufiss! I hope you have some blood pressure medication. Don't want you to burst a blood vessel next time you have a hissy fit.

I agree and in your case you are the test of "patience."
:lol:

Come on, don't respond to this juvenile, pompous ass. This thread is supposed to be for Bruce to use and this troll is trying to derail it already.

Good point.

Go for it Bruce.

Bruce is too busy keeping the Missions thread I started "on track."

Sorry Dave Carson aka Mace 1999...

I posted the reply over on "Mayhem" since it is mayhem anyway. But thanks for your efforts.

Maybe you could start a thread called,

UNCLE DAVE'S FREE FLORIDA ALLIGATOR FARM
"Watch ex-missionary going through mid-life crisis chop up, grind up and feed ex-church, friends and ex-colleagues to hungry wild reptiles. Lots of biting and devouring!!! Just bring a big bib and a strong stomach!!"

I don't get the connection between telling the truth about your church and missions experiences and a mid-life crisis...I also don't recall Mace dissing any ex-colleagues, just telling like it is about the leadership. I do recall him saying that "any GG missionary would be welcome" at his door.

This may be a cool thread:

Bruce Moon's Brainwashed Missions Newsletter

Cover Story: I Believe in Spiritual Authority

Page One: Just Ignore That Egg on my Face, There's Nothing Wrong With GG
Respect My Authority
Everyone Who Quits A Church Is Wrong
I Know Your Motives
Why I Have No Team Members
Preach Like a Tape Recorder
How to Lose All Rewards By Bragging
Pump Up Those Numbers By Not Telling the Flock about Home Base

Page Two: Believe God Speaks To You, Even Though He Doesn't
Don't Think, Just Show Up On Sunday
Steal Those Sheep
Why Work? Become a Missionary!
Dealing with Never Being Asked to Speak at Convention

Sports: Moon Comes Out Against Bull Fights, He'd Rather Bullsh*t Himself about Church Legacy

Guest Articles:Last Looks, Last Words, Last Thoughts by the Prophet Carl H. Stevens Jr. (Includes special Commentary on Worthy Pond Vision and Liquid Waves Of Love)
Why Churches Who Don't Do Missions Suck by Steve Scibelli
Steal Ex-Branch Church Members By Stabbing Their Pastor in the Back by John Love
Uh, Um...Uggh, AAAh, Um by Thomas Schaller

Editorial. Why I've Never Been Wrong

OP ED: How to Always Be Right By Ignoring the Facts
Win Arguements by Calling Opponents Quitters

Special Offer: Send a $25 Donation and receive two taped messages: Doctrine of Pastor Teacher and Brown Noser For God. Include an extra $10 and receive magnetic Bruce Moon Statuet for your dashboard.

Jim, I know you are not serious because no one's dashboard is magnetic

Jim,
you have a great sense of humor.

Now stop it before I bust a gut.
:lol:

Uncle Dave,

Pleeeeeeeeeese let me have one of them free 'gator's. I live in FL. and there's an endangered wildlife perserve outside my back door.

Your sister' in Christ,

the left egypt family

Oh you kids, too young to remember when dashboards were indeed made of metal. We didn't need no stinkin' seatbelts, air bags, ABS and all them modern safety features -- we had a plastic, magnetized Jesus riding on our dashboards! (Or at least a St. Christopher...) Check out "Plastic Jesus," the 2nd track labeled 19 on this page.

Remember when they gave St. Christopher the old heave-ho and everybody went nuts? It was not pretty in my household, but it was great for the St. Christopher car magnet business. Everyone I knew bought another one in an act of defiance.

Actually, John C, I grew up Catholic and my parents always had those saints on the dashboard. Maybe it was St Christopher or maybe Jesus, I dont remember. But I always thought they were stuck with some kind of glue on the bottom. I admit I did not pay very close attention so it could have been magnetic, who knows

oh I forgot to add that at Easter time they would have palms wrapped around them and around the rear view mirror also

The palms were creatively tied into crosses, right? :)

This morning, just for grins, I went online looking for magnetic religious medals. Most are adhesive backed these days...

Velcro, I should have said Velcro...The Silver Surfer on my dash is attached with Velcro...

I attended a meet and greet with Ringo Starr at the Taj Mahal Casino a few years back. I was comped by a good friend of mine. There were maybe 50 people there, all high rollers, and the average income was probably over $2 million a year. When I asked my friend what I should say to an attractive woman I was eyeing up he responded: "Tell her you invented velcro." It didn't work. But I did get my picture taken with Ringo.

I don't know, maybe that scapula with Jesus' picture that I kept stuffed in my sock really did keep me from getting killed playing high school football...

I remember the "I don't care if it rains or freezes, as long as I got a plastic Jesus" song...

You heard it here. And now for our viewing enjoyment, next week on Comedy Central, Padre Luna et.el., will join the all star cast of compassionate conservatives on "Lil' Bush", Thurs. 10:30pm. EST.

Tune in as the powers that be stick it to the powers that arn't. Why? Because they can, or is it because we allow them to?

Irrevent, you bet! But then they are arn't they?

Reverend Moon,

Does the majority of your support come from GGWO churches and individuals?

If not, from where does it come?

What is the source of your ordination?

Who oversees your ministry?

If someone has lived, worked and pastored a local church in another country for 20 years, are they really still a missionary? Or have they long ago become a foreigner pastoring a local church in a country other than their birth land?

Not meant as a taunt or challenge -- just a question...

Where's the Bruce-ster?

Getting out the chapstick for convention.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar


Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
Trouble coming He don't see
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And policemen think I'm tight
They never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar


Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I could go a hundred miles an hour
Long as I got the almighty power
Glued up there with my pair of fuzzy dice

{Refrain - repeat between verses}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel every nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

I don't care if it rains or snowses
Long as I got my plastic Moses
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel every nation
Me and plastic Moses will go far

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's pink and pleasant
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn holy family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

You can buy a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care what they say, I'm gonna
Keep on prayin' to that pink Madonna
Melted to the dashboard of my car
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the twelve apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

{As refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

God made Christ a holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

{As refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

When I'm goin' fornicatin'
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

I don't care if I'm broke or starvin'
As long as I've got a fish named Darwin
Glued to the trunk lid of my car
God, I'm feeling so evolved
Drivin' with my problems solved
Proclaiming what I think of what we are

Riding home one foggy night
With my honey cuddled tight
I missed a curve and off the road we veered
My windshield got smashed-up good
And my darling graced the hood
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared

{As Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
No longer chides me with His holy grin
Doctors in the X-ray room
Found Him in my darling's womb
Someday, He'll be born again!

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
He's the dude with the rusty nails
Walks on water, don't need no sails
Riding on the dashboard of me car

I don't care if the night is scary
As long as I got the virgin Mary
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car
She don't slip and she don't slide
'Cause her ass is magnetized
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car

BOHICA Bruce.

Are you keeping it real?...because that comment is simply wrong

What do you mean by "keeping it real" and how is the comment wrong?

Bruce is an ecclesiastical masochist.

Maybe he'll come back to Mexico with such an anointing that even more missionaries from other so-called churches will want to be like him.

All of us are out of Conrol.

What is Conrol? A town in Texas?

Where's Bruce? I miss his commercials.

Maybe Bruce is a little busy now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFXGwHsD_A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCMzS6l5JoY&feature=related