Got this on an email list I'm on and it's cute and so true! I've said 90% of this stuff to Cindy. Would be 100% if we had a cat!

Conversations With My Guide Dog

I know you are highly intelligent, so how come you always manage to get your front paws tangled in your leash like this?

You must know that eating grass or kitty excreta will give you gas, so why do you always look offended when you are the one fumigating the room?

I love you, but I don't like being used as your napkin when you have just dunked your muzzle in your drinking bowl.

No, I don't think water does taste better when imbibed from a toilet bowl! I just know so and don't have to try it!

You could wipe your own feet before coming in all muddy you know.

And shaking fur all over a restaurant isn't funny. It isn't another way to say thank you or goodbye.

No, I know that putting your cold nose on them makes people move, and let us get to the front of the line, but we can wait our turn.

Yes I understand that he said something rude to you, but its his yard and you are a professional, so just walk past and ignore him.

No, you can't take your toys with us, you are working!

Behave yourself or I'll put this harness on the cat!

Yes, we are shopping again, and the object isn't to go in one door and find the exit as fast as we can and no you can't just pick up things and expect me to pay for them.

I brushed you this morning and you don't have fleas, so stop scratching and jangling your tags like that!

You are interrupting the meeting!

Wake up, I know the sermon was extra long, but snoring is impolite.

Yes, that's your dinner and I know mine looks better, but yours is well balanced and nutritious.

Don't huff at me, I am not being ridiculous and yes I do too know where we are going and it isn't back the other way! Yes, you are very smart to remember this place, but we aren't going there today.

No, it isn't alright to chase the neighbor's cat out of your yard because it isn't our cat.

Just because it is on the floor doesn't make it yours.

Yes I know where the dog biscuits are and you are not getting another one.

Yes I know everyone says you are beautiful and clever, but you don't need to thank them all for the attention.

You can too fit under an airline seat!

Okay, you win, being half in my lap is reasonable when you get scared.

Yes, you are the bestest dog in the whole world.

Those are soooo cute. I may not have a guide dog, but i have said some of those things to my dog! Very adorable. :P

Why do you have a guide dog? Is someone in your family blind or do just like guide dogs?

Gut, honey, why would she have a gudiedog if someone in the family didn't need one (or they were trainers)? :P

and very funny, shadow :)

ah, if ur talking to me i meant my non-guide dog staffy, Harry. I just meant that some of those things iv said to Harry. Like 'Yes, that's your dinner and I know mine looks better, but yours is well balanced and nutritious.' and 'I love you, but I don't like being used as your napkin when you have just dunked your muzzle in your drinking bowl.'

Normal dogs do those things to.

Shadowcat has a guide dog because she's blind. I'm also vision impaired and could get a guide dog but I think one in the house is more than enough!

The only way someone who wasn't blind would be able to own a fully trained guide dog is if the dog is retired.

I hope this isnt considered like rude or something, cause i dont mean it that way. But, how do u use a computer if ur blind?

I use a program called Zoom Text. It has a screen magnifier and screen reader. The magnifier makes everything on the screen as big as I want it and the screen reader reads things out loud.

I couldn't resist. :P

Conversations With My Goats.

“Hey fatso.”

“Gerrorf!”

“That is my foot, dear.”

“Stop chewing me!”

“Something very bad is going to happen to you if you keep that up, and I will not be held accountable.”

“Alright, alright, I can hear you!”

*being leaned against on either side* “Are you quite comfortable? Good.” :rolleyes:

“Mmm, slobber. Lovely.”

“Geh! I can’t feed you if you don’t stop squishing me!”

“Yes, yes, I know you’re beautiful . . . .”

“Stop being stupid! I can’t feed you while you’re attacking the back of my leg!”

“Yes, that is my hair you’re—owowow!!”

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too . . . sook.”

I ampicturing you sawing all these things in your vocie and oh, it's so adorable :P

(I'm gonna drive her INSANE saying that by the end of the week)

LOL! That's great!

You're blind! :blink:

Why didn't you tell us sooner?

Uh . . . she did? Pay attention, Rotgut! :P Nah, probably just hasn't come up in ages.

Yeah. I try not to make a big deal of it.

Oh, well I'm actually blind in my right eye, since birth. Have I already told you that?

Well as a famous someone said: in cyberspace, EVERYONE is blind. Thats the thing about the net, there's so much you DON'T know about people.

Merlin Missy (the creator of the mary Sue Litmus test) put it best here, I believe: http://missy.reimer.com/library/freedom.txt

Very interesting page! Thanks for sharing that link.