Dear Diary,
I'm lost. I'm scared. I don't know where to go. I feel as if I'm turning to the forces of darkness. I'm becoming more dark everyday. Perhaps it's my destiny or maybe it's the personal gain invloved. I mean if your evil you can do almost anything you want when you want to. And then there is Prue. My best friend ever. I can sense she is worried about me. I don't know what has come over me the past month. Maybe I'm just stuck in between good and evil. I'm lost and scared. My powers even scare me. I don't know how, but I almost hypnotized Prue. I didn't mean to trigger my power but I did. I'm just guessing that my power boost is having an effect over me. I guess I'm just not ready for it. I should've waited for me to be ready for it.Oh well the spell will be over at 2:00 tomarrow morning.
Star
Do we ever really know what our destiny is? Do we actually have a destiny? Or do we choose our own paths? If we do? How do we do that? Do we have some spirit whispering in our ear, guiding us along? Or are we alone on this journey?
So very many questions, Star. Where do you turn? Who do you trust? What do yo ulisten to? All these are life's mysteries, and also the questions which, answered or not, make us who we are. If you're lost, ask for directions. If you're scared, reach out for comfort.
Follow your heart. It will always guide you in the direction yo uneed to go. But don't get its messages mixed up with your head's thoughts. The human mind can play awful tricks on you.
~HP~
Dear Diary,
I had just come from Dark Haven, which Chris now controls. At the moment he is sitting on the veranda with Katina. He's telling me many things, but I am unsure that he can go through with everything he is promising. I'm not saying he's a bad boyfriend, it's just like he's unaware that some things may go wrong. I know I'm probably not making any sense, but this is how I feel. He finally proposed as well and of coarse I said yes. The only thing is Katina. We're going to kill and steal her powers to get her out of the way. Chris says he was only keeping her around because she can bring him back to life and that if I could take her powers then there would be no need to keep her. Well, what if he grows tired of me as he has her and decides to take Katina's power and give them to another witch along the road... like when I begin to age. Chris hasn't aged I'm sure since he was probably 25 and I'm sure I'm going to age everyday after 25. Just so much confusion... Then there is Elara and Nola... but... I don't want to write about that at the moment I don't even fully know what to say about that.
Star.
My dear Star.
You are confused, unsure, scared. Who wouldn't be in your position? All these feelings are normal. Trust your heart. And make sure it's your heart you're listening to and not your brain. In matters of love, only the heart knows the truth. If you're doubtful, tell him. But gently. For all you know, he's telling you the truth. Make sure he knows that you love him, you simply need answers.
You seem to forget that as a witch, as a being of magic, you, too, will not age. Looks at the sisters. They're hundreds of years old. I suggest looking into your family's history.
As for the sisters. You have every right to feel the way you do. But as you said, you do not wish to dicuss them at this moment in time.
Yours in Magic
HP